non-weekly therapy better than no therapy?

A possible trigger for suicidal mentions

I don't know what else to do. My suicidal thoughts came back in a different way than before. Like I'm less aware of them? it takes me a while to realize how dangerous/harmful my thoughts are. I'm afraid of going to a new therapist because I'm afraid of being locked away again
Last time I talked to my therapist she said she was closing my case because my new job has a fluctuating schedule and made it difficult to keep a reoccurring appointment time. The schedule still hasn't stabilized, I've only just been made full-time but it's the slow season, and is expected to switch to a stricter 8-5pm schedule in the fall.
At the time she told me that not being able to see me regularly would do more harm than good, and didn't like the phone sessions.

I want to contact her to see if she will change her mind, instead of trying to wait for my job to change things in the fall. There's the risk that she may so no, which would probably make me worse. And while I would rather wait, but there's a part of me that thinks waiting is risky too like I might not make it.

Yes, weekly sessions are usually the ideal but it is not an ideal world and we have to have our lives outside of T. Is there any regular pattern to your hours? I cannot see my T making this a deal breaker. If I knew my schedule in advance he would schedule me out even if it was not the same day/time each week. If he couldn’t do that we would just no do anything deep but have sessions when we could solely to maintain the relationship. He would also put me on his cancellation list. Again, none of it is the ideal but severing the connection because of it seems harsh to me.

There are so few mental health people spread so thin ,in many cases agency policy or personal policy might be similar to as it is here :

If you cancel 3 appointments, miss 3 appointments, or reschedule with less than 48 hour notice,they deem you not sufficiently invested in therapy ,and dismiss you .

You are free to get back in the que for another therapist opening reassignment when an opening exists. Which can be a year or more .

It's a short cited policy ,because many people dont like you have a stable work life,that ripples out into all other areas ,in many cases it's unfair & arbitrary .one way around this, is getting your case assigned to a supervising T who has absolute discretion in applying said policy or not .

It's never easy to form a bond or work towards a therapeutic relationship with that constant tension of am I going to be "dumped" .

It worked well for me ,i have a severe disability ,and if I had to cancel or no show ,he knew it was a a severe bad day that I never made it out of bed due to pain,it wasn't intentional or malicious ,it was just how my world worked .

For every rule ,there is an exception to the rule!
Make yourself that exception.
Good luck.

For me, therapy was the most useful when I did it "as needed" - going when I had specific things to discuss instead of regular sessions. Both of my Ts were very willing to work that way. But I think it depends on the client and their specific issues. The regular weekly sessions were kinda good to stick with a routine (I can have problems with routines in my everyday life) but, a lot of the times, I did not use them productively. So when it was as needed, usually I would make an appointment when I had something more concrete to focus on and I stuck with that topic instead of the wandering all over the map I often did in weekly therapy. It was always much more satisfying when I used therapy in a focused, more practical way.

I would not wait if i where me, Hugs i hope she is still open to working with you and maybe there is a spot in your schedual that will work out so that you can see her