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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 8
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#1
- The therapist won't be your friend.
- Therapy doesn't always work. Go on. |
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Buffy01
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Buffy01, CrimsonBlues, HD7970GHZ, here today, koru_kiwi, LonesomeTonight, missbella, Mopey, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,845
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#2
-No therapist nor anyone else is omniscient. If she pretends to explain unseen cause-effect or the behavior of someone she never met, the therapist is operating beyond her pay grade.
- It's unwise completely to surrender judgment to a therapist or anyone else. -Human response doesn't stop at the consulting room door. Being a therapist doesn't excuse discourtesy, anger or controlling behavior. -If therapy is conditioning you to be sadder, angrier, more helpless or feel more victimized, consider if this truly is moving you forward. -Reconsider this therapy if it's causing more drama rather than helping you reduce it. |
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Chyialee, CrimsonBlues, here today, kiwi215, koru_kiwi, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, Whalen84
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
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#3
Too true, Gogu2, too true.
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SalingerEsme
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
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#4
-there are many different kinds of therapy and many different therapists. Some may be helpful for you, others may not. It's okay to try a different one. It's useful to try a few before possibly deciding that maybe therapy isn't right for you at this point in time. That's okay too.
-bad experiences happen. When they happen they can be hurtful and harmful. -good experiences happen. When they happen they can be healing and helpful. -what you want in the moment isn't always what's in your best interests. A good and responsible therapist won't always say or do what you want. |
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Amyjay, ArtleyWilkins, Chyialee, CrimsonBlues, Echos Myron redux, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,722
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#5
No therapist knows what is in your best interest. Do what you think best. Do not let a therapist tell you what to do or how to be. You hire them - you don't have to work with one who does not work the way you want.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Amyjay, CrimsonBlues, Echos Myron redux, here today, koru_kiwi, missbella, precaryous, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
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#6
Both therapist and client act out of their individual unconscious at times, and impasses or enactments occur. They can be fatal to therapy or they can strengthen the bond.
Therapists say the boundaries / frame is for the client, but it is often bc they don't want responsibilities outside of 45-50 minutes despite how intimate the sessions might feel. It is one way glass. __________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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CrimsonBlues, koru_kiwi, LonesomeTonight, susannahsays
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 876
11 601 hugs
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#7
Sometimes you will feel worse before you start to feel better.
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SalingerEsme
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Amyjay, kaleidoscopeheart, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 333
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#8
- You are the expert on your life, not the therapist.
- Therapists are one tool you can use for self improvement, not the whole hardware store. Choose your tool wisely and don’t be afraid to find a new one if it stops working or completely step away when the job is done. - Therapists are human and no human is infallible. |
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Amyjay, CrimsonBlues, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme, ScarletPimpernel, Taylor27
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,730
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#9
Quote:
And if your T is unable to take criticism (within reason), accept feedback, and/or admit they're wrong, consider looking elsewhere. There may be things you want, that feel good in the moment but that won't help you overall. If a T is simply giving you/saying what you want in the moment, it may not be helpful to you or moving you forward. Sometimes you have to face hard truths in therapy, whether about yourself or someone else, and they can really hurt. But if you don't face them, you get stuck. |
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LabRat27, SalingerEsme, stormyisland
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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#10
Quote:
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 118
6 28 hugs
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#11
If your therapist gives you an opinion and then gets angry or offended when you don't agree, proceed very carefully. Don't invite someone with a god complex into your life.
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Chyialee, CrimsonBlues, here today, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, koru_kiwi, LonesomeTonight, missbella, Mopey, SalingerEsme
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
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#12
A therapist will often do their best but as clients we need to work harder than they do.
They are human and will make mistakes, how they and respond will make all the difference. Our issues/problems didn't happen overnight so the healing will also not happen overnight. __________________ |
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Amyjay, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,362
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#13
If you start therapy in hopes that therapist will become your lover, object of your sexual desire, your friend or your parent, your therapy will be unsuccessful as therapists aren’t obligated and in fact aren’t allowed to play any of those roles. Too many people complain about therapists being monsters because they answered “no” to sexual or romantic propositions made by a client. Wrong premise to begin with
If you want therapy to work, you got to put some work in. Therapist can’t fix it all for you. If you go to therapy just because you are lonely, it won’t work as therapist cant replace the entire world for you |
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Amyjay, ArtleyWilkins, Chyialee, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, scapegoat0001, ScarletPimpernel, zoiecat
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
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#14
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Chyialee, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, scapegoat0001, The_little_didgee
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,722
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#15
Therapists are quick to blame clients and reading here - so are other clients. Don't believe them. If therapy fails - it is on the profession or the therapist -not the client
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Jul 02, 2019 at 10:32 PM.. |
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BudFox, CrimsonBlues, here today, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
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#16
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CrimsonBlues, SalingerEsme
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
12 1,231 hugs
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#17
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BudFox, CrimsonBlues, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, missbella, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263
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#18
In the past I went to different therapists at the same time and they gave good advice, each a little different, but very helpful. It was a rough time and was grateful for the help and advice. One gave advice on a book to read about depression and the other gave advice regarding be around people as much as possible (I tend to isolate). It still good advice, although don’t always follow it.
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SlumberKitty
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SalingerEsme
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,722
(SuperPoster!)
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#19
Therapy/therapists are not harmless. It is a risk and not only can it be completely useless - therapy has the potential to be actively harmful.
How often does psychotherapy make people feel worse? – Research Digest Also - don't bet more than you are willing to lose. Therapists can and will use your vulnerability against you. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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BudFox, CrimsonBlues, here today, koru_kiwi, missbella, SalingerEsme, susannahsays
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
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#20
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koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme
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