Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

junkDNA · Aug 02, 2019 at 06:19 AM

I almost lost u

LonesomeTonight · Aug 02, 2019 at 07:17 AM

Dear T,
I feel horribly ungrateful saying this, but your reply really sucked. Telling me to "have an excellent day" when I said I was struggling and kept crying? That's not what I meant by "words of encouragement" or "let me know you're still out there." And the comment about your being gone for a week pushes the limits of my emotional tolerance felt a bit judge-y. Even if it's the truth. Because it wasn't just about your being away, it's what I talked about with R. I'd have likely reacted the same after a session on that same topic with you (as I have before). Plus I made it a week without contact, I hope you can recognize that as something.
LT

Echos Myron redux · Aug 02, 2019 at 03:49 PM

Well you are literally the difference between me throwing in the towel on this thing and keeping going. Thank you for your email today. You are amazing and I love you.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 02, 2019 at 06:08 PM

PSA to therapists in general:
If your client (or backup client) talks about how they're struggling with things, keep crying, etc., be careful in what you say back to them. Things like "Have an excellent day!" or "I hope you get to enjoy the splendor of the outdoors this evening. It's divine!" (T and backup T, respectively, today), like yeah, sorry, not feeling that over-the-top s**t right now. Maybe go with something more low-key, like, "I hope your day gets better" or "I hope you're feeling better this morning." Even "good" would be fine. Just bear in mind your audience's current state of mind. And temper things accordingly.
--LT

Aug 02, 2019 at 07:24 PM

What are we doing? I need a plan. I want a plan. Something measurable. You don't work that way though do you. Hmm.

JaneTennison1 · Aug 02, 2019 at 07:27 PM

Dear T

I have never said no before. I have never said I know what care means or I know the expectation that comes with care and I'm not willing to do it. I have only ever gone along or said yes. this is new,

LonesomeTonight · Aug 02, 2019 at 08:02 PM

Dear T,
Reading your email now with a different tone in my head. You didn't have to mention how you were looking forward to continuing our work Monday, but you did. And you were trying to reassure me by saying you had no plans to be away this long again in the foreseeable future. I can't expect perfection from you, for you to read my mind. And your wishing me an excellent day--that's you saying you hope I feel better. Does it matter that "excellent" seemed beyond what I'd be able to achieve? You certainly didn't know I had my car in the shop or that I slept poorly (especially as I'd emailed before I even went to bed). Maybe you're just trying to express your wishes for me, that you want me to have a great day, not just an acceptable/tolerable one. Maybe I'm just looking for reasons to be like "f you" because it's easier than missing you. Which I do.
Love you,
LT

Aug 02, 2019 at 11:29 PM

ExT we had the best "disagreements" didn't we. I think in the end it was all about the them I wanted you to acknowledge that you were the other person with opinions and judgements in the room.

Lemoncake · Aug 03, 2019 at 05:23 AM

I dreamt of you. You went to a spa in Thailand .

Lrad123 · Aug 03, 2019 at 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lrad123

I feel sort of like the Grinch, but not in a bad way. More like when “the Grinch’s heart grew 3 times that day.” Something happened and I don’t understand it, but I’ll take it.

T,
I guess that makes you Cindy Lou Who.
Lrad

Omers · Aug 03, 2019 at 11:49 AM

T, today it’s getting hard. I thought that with the big stress gone I would do better with you being away. This week it feels like I need you more than ever.

Lemoncake · Aug 03, 2019 at 12:19 PM

Day 1:

I miss you but I'm not sad.

Mainly just feeling grateful that you're my T even after everything I do and say.

p.s= totally back to being in love with you.

Aug 03, 2019 at 10:35 PM

imissiloveyouiwantyouwah

Lrad123 · Aug 04, 2019 at 03:07 AM

Now that I feel all warm and fuzzy after last week, I’m more worried about the upcoming break. What if I lose the feeling of connection? What if something happens and I never see you again? It’s frustrating to have all these thoughts running through my head.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 04, 2019 at 03:27 AM

My 'window' of tolerance is more like a peephole. I really need to work on letting people in.

comrademoomoo · Aug 04, 2019 at 05:17 AM

Oh look, it's Sunday! It must be time for another excruciating email. You brought this one on yourself of course, just like all the other ones in fact.

Lemoncake · Aug 04, 2019 at 09:52 AM

Day 2:

I miss you today.

The only thing I've done is just gym.

My flight is at 5.30pm tomorrow.

No idea if I've made the right choice in going back and if I could have really done my exam on tuesday. I return on the 28th so that's 22 days in total when I've normally just stay 5-6 days and I think 14 days is the most I've done in a few years.

unaluna · Aug 04, 2019 at 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

My 'window' of tolerance is more like a peephole. I really need to work on letting people in.

I can relate to this!

Aug 04, 2019 at 02:35 PM

Dear Ex-Therapist -

I’m sure you received my closure letter by now. It’s been a week. I thought I’d feel more of a release but I’m afraid I’ve kept our connection more alive by contacting you. Should I expect a response? Will you send it back unopened?

Why is true closure so difficult? Why am I still bleeding more than a year later? After everything I’ve been through, why is therapy my most traumatic memory?

I’ve been ready to move on for a long time. Im going to take a break from the boards. Let’s see how good of a job I can do putting you in my past.

Best,
PM

Pain94 · Aug 04, 2019 at 05:01 PM

Dear T;

You know so much about me now. Yet so little. I trust you but letting you in is not easy, please remember that.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Aug 02, 2019 at 06:19 AM #321 I almost lost u __________________
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,160 6 1,833 hugs given	Aug 02, 2019 at 03:49 PM #323 Well you are literally the difference between me throwing in the towel on this thing and keeping going. Thank you for your email today. You are amazing and I love you.
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Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 02, 2019 at 07:24 PM #325 What are we doing? I need a plan. I want a plan. Something measurable. You don't work that way though do you. Hmm.
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JaneTennison1 Magnate Member Since Aug 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,202 9 121 hugs given	Aug 02, 2019 at 07:27 PM #326 Dear T I have never said no before. I have never said I know what care means or I know the expectation that comes with care and I'm not willing to do it. I have only ever gone along or said yes. this is new,
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Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 02, 2019 at 11:29 PM #328 ExT we had the best "disagreements" didn't we. I think in the end it was all about the them I wanted you to acknowledge that you were the other person with opinions and judgements in the room.
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 03, 2019 at 05:23 AM #329 I dreamt of you. You went to a spa in Thailand . __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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Omers Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2010 Location: Crimson cattery Posts: 3,512 13 3,133 hugs given	Aug 03, 2019 at 11:49 AM #331 T, today it’s getting hard. I thought that with the big stress gone I would do better with you being away. This week it feels like I need you more than ever. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 03, 2019 at 12:19 PM #332 Day 1: I miss you but I'm not sad. Mainly just feeling grateful that you're my T even after everything I do and say. p.s= totally back to being in love with you. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 03, 2019 at 10:35 PM #333 imissiloveyouiwantyouwah
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Lrad123 Poohbah Member Since Nov 2017 Location: United States Posts: 1,332 6 372 hugs given	Aug 04, 2019 at 03:07 AM #334 Now that I feel all warm and fuzzy after last week, I’m more worried about the upcoming break. What if I lose the feeling of connection? What if something happens and I never see you again? It’s frustrating to have all these thoughts running through my head.
	Reply With Quote

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Aug 04, 2019 at 05:17 AM #336 Oh look, it's Sunday! It must be time for another excruciating email. You brought this one on yourself of course, just like all the other ones in fact.
	Reply With Quote

Pain94 Member Member Since Jul 2016 Location: Nebraska Posts: 142 7 36 hugs given	Aug 04, 2019 at 05:01 PM #340 Dear T; You know so much about me now. Yet so little. I trust you but letting you in is not easy, please remember that.
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