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Old 07-11-2019, 07:52 PM   #401
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

A therapist I wrote to about EMDR just wrote back and told me he doesn't choose a modality until he has met the person and can decide what is right.

Patronising [email protected]

Newsflash for him, he doesn't "choose" a modality at all. Nor does he pick what is right for me. Ugh glad I swerved that one.
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:11 PM   #402
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

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Originally Posted by chihirochild View Post
At a poetry reading downtown. Makes me think of our couch poets! Anyone feeling like sharing more of their work?
I will.

Summer Storm

Leaves and branches fly in dramatic show,
opening space for rain to come through.
And wind,
as if never given the chance before
moans in haunting refrains through my yard.

Leaves and branches fly in dramatic show
not sure which way they want to go,
they mimic the thoughts that swirl
like confused tornados
inside my mind.

Down and around and towards the ground,
then up again and over cinder block walls -
an outer display of the turmoil inside.
Wishing I could close that inner window
as easily as those against the
relentless storm outside, I watch in silence as
leaves and branches fly in dramatic show.
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:22 PM   #403
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Just got home from seeing L. Hoo boy what a super emotional session THAT was! I was totally bawling, tears streaming down my face the whole 9 yards. I was a mess. She was drumming for me at the time and I just lost it. While she was drumming I heard this message come through clearly from deep inside me that said "Stop holding on so damn tight. Let go!! Just ****ing LET GO!!" and that terrified me because I don't want to be the destruction. I am afraid that if I just let go and be myself, I would be like a tornado, like a massive storm, and wreak havoc on my life as I know it now. If I just let go and be myself, I wouldn't worry about H, or what my Mother and the rest of my family thinks, I would end my marriage and I would BE the destruction that I so fear. I haven't cried that hard in a looooong time. I think I have earned a glass of wine....
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:03 PM   #404
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

And she was speculating something about how that mucocele thing I had on my appendix might have happened because of all of this - because i stopped coming to therapy and was working 60 hours a week and not listening to my body and stuff. I don't really buy that. **** just happens sometimes. So the doctors don't know exactly why it happens yet - it's just one of those things that sometimes does - I take it with a whole handful of grains of salt as she ain't no MD.
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:08 PM   #405
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Actually, for all of the woowoo stuff that I consider to be too woo, I do believe that one's body will tell one to stop and up the ante until the body does something extreme enough that causes one to listen
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:11 PM   #406
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1 View Post
A therapist I wrote to about EMDR just wrote back and told me he doesn't choose a modality until he has met the person and can decide what is right.

Patronising [email protected]

Newsflash for him, he doesn't "choose" a modality at all. Nor does he pick what is right for me. Ugh glad I swerved that one.
Good dodge - he sounds like an ***
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
"And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:23 PM   #407
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Actually, for all of the woowoo stuff that I consider to be too woo, I do believe that one's body will tell one to stop and up the ante until the body does something extreme enough that causes one to listen

Well mine sure made me listen alright! I just hate the thought that I brought all of that on myself and stuff. She also says in the same breath of course that it's not about blame. Which makes me want to say then why even bring it UP?
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:37 PM   #408
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Well mine sure made me listen alright! I just hate the thought that I brought all of that on myself and stuff. She also says in the same breath of course that it's not about blame.
Re your other point - what if all those people in your life werent there to stop you? That is, whats MY excuse now? You probably dont want to be HERE (in my shoes) in ten years. Or, where DO you want to be in ten years? Just throwin that stuff out there. Altho if you could answer the question about whats my excuse now, that would be cool!
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:47 PM   #409
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Re your other point - what if all those people in your life werent there to stop you? That is, whats MY excuse now? You probably dont want to be HERE (in my shoes) in ten years. Or, where DO you want to be in ten years? Just throwin that stuff out there. Altho if you could answer the question about whats my excuse now, that would be cool!

If the other people in my life weren't, I don't know. That's too hard to answer. If I removed even one person from my past I might never have gone back to therapy and if I hadn't gone back to therapy would I have ever started working on myself and uncovering all this stuff that I'd buried so deeply away? I might still be living completely and totally in denial about my sexuality and other stuff. Who knows?

Where do I want to be in 10 years? I can't see that far...


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Old 07-11-2019, 09:52 PM   #410
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Default Re: Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

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Well mine sure made me listen alright! I just hate the thought that I brought all of that on myself and stuff. She also says in the same breath of course that it's not about blame. Which makes me want to say then why even bring it UP?
Of course it’s not about blame. Why would it be? It’s about taking responsibility for mistakes, learning from them, and vowing to do better. And if you fall again, pick yourself up and move on. And that is why it needs to be brought up, not to blame but to learn.

Blame is a dead end street. People don’t want to be blamed so they avoid taking responsibility. Or they just sit around and blame themselves and then learn nothing, just beat up on themselves.

2ex had me going there for a while with the idea of blame and fault. It’s a way to keep others or yourself down. It’s a child’s way of viewing the world. Screw that.
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