Would it be bad to email T?

SummerTime12 · Jul 14, 2019 at 02:19 PM

This morning I found out a very close friend passed away. I’m not dealing well and sort of want to email my t, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea?
I think maybe twice in the 2.5 years I’ve seen him, I emailed on a weekend for something besides scheduling (feeling SI). Both times he replied after the weekend saying he was sorry he didn’t see it sooner. The few times I’ve emailed him on the weekend for scheduling though, he’s replied while it’s still the weekend. I think he’s trying to maybe place a boundary there without actually saying it? Like just yesterday (Saturday) I emailed him to switch the time of my appointment tomorrow, and he replied.
But then he always says he wants me to reach out so idk... would I be pushing too far if I emailed him today? And what would I ask for? I don’t even know what I need. Thanks for any help.

Jul 14, 2019 at 02:35 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this. When my dad passed away I had been on a break from t (that I initiated). I called her anyway the morning I found out (it was a weekday). I told her I don't even know what I'm needing from you. She said something like you need me to hold your sorrow for a moment. And she did, even that briefly gave me a chance to catch my breath. I say, it's a good thing to reach out to your t for something like this. Hugs.

Rive. · Jul 14, 2019 at 02:47 PM

He says he wants you to reach out. Take him at his word.

As to what to ask for, do you want anything in particular from T e.g. a check-in, an extra session, an ear or comforting presence... something else?

Otherwise, just tell him what you wrote here i.e. that you are "not dealing well" and would like some support.

SummerTime12 · Jul 14, 2019 at 04:20 PM

Thank you @ArtieSwimsOn and @Rive.

I slept for a few hours which helped some. I think what I would want from him is maybe a phone call helping me get some clarity. He’s very good at reminding of all the reasons I have to live.
I see him tomorrow night, so I’m gonna give it another hour or so and see if I still feel the need to talk to him ASAP.

Misery Business · Jul 14, 2019 at 04:27 PM

For something of this matter I think it would be just fine to reach out to your T on the weekend(Today).

downandlonely · Jul 14, 2019 at 04:30 PM

I agree that it's ok to email. The death of a close friend is a serious issue.

Roamer1115 · Jul 14, 2019 at 05:20 PM

Best of luck with T and email. Seems you need help with grieving, I'd ask for a session asap I think.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 14, 2019 at 05:26 PM

I agree that it's fine to email. Plus it's Sunday evening, so even if he doesn't reply on weekends, he'd likely reply in the morning. I'd also ask him what his policy is--for something big like this, can you possibly call or text? Glad you'll see him tomorrow night at least. And so sorry for your loss...

SummerTime12 · Jul 14, 2019 at 08:19 PM

Thank you everyone, I just emailed him now. I made the purpose of it more to tell him everything that’s going on so that I can’t back out of talking about it tomorrow. I told him he didn’t have to reply, so that way I won’t feel like I’m being extremely needy and won’t feel bad if he doesn’t reply. I think tomorrow I’ll try to ask him more about when it’s ok to ask for a phone call.

coolibrarian · Jul 15, 2019 at 09:29 AM

Sorry for your loss. I think that if your T wanted to set a boundary, they would say so, not do it without saying so. Since your T has never told you that you may not email on the weekend, and since you have suffered this kind of loss, I see no reason why you shouldn't email your T. If you haven't already, hey, it's Monday: go ahead.

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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,011 10	Jul 14, 2019 at 02:47 PM #3 He says he wants you to reach out. Take him at his word. As to what to ask for, do you want anything in particular from T e.g. a check-in, an extra session, an ear or comforting presence... something else? Otherwise, just tell him what you wrote here i.e. that you are "not dealing well" and would like some support.
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SummerTime12 Grand Member Member Since Mar 2013 Location: USA Posts: 876 11 601 hugs given	Jul 14, 2019 at 04:20 PM #4 Thank you @ArtieSwimsOn and @Rive. I slept for a few hours which helped some. I think what I would want from him is maybe a phone call helping me get some clarity. He’s very good at reminding of all the reasons I have to live. I see him tomorrow night, so I’m gonna give it another hour or so and see if I still feel the need to talk to him ASAP.
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Misery Business Grand Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: USA Posts: 750 4 240 hugs given	Jul 14, 2019 at 04:27 PM #5 For something of this matter I think it would be just fine to reach out to your T on the weekend(Today).
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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Jul 14, 2019 at 04:30 PM #6 I agree that it's ok to email. The death of a close friend is a serious issue.
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Roamer1115 Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Portland, Oregon, USA Posts: 33 4 3 hugs given	Jul 14, 2019 at 05:20 PM #7 Best of luck with T and email. Seems you need help with grieving, I'd ask for a session asap I think.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,727 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jul 14, 2019 at 05:26 PM #8 I agree that it's fine to email. Plus it's Sunday evening, so even if he doesn't reply on weekends, he'd likely reply in the morning. I'd also ask him what his policy is--for something big like this, can you possibly call or text? Glad you'll see him tomorrow night at least. And so sorry for your loss...
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