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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2018
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#1
Do you guys feel comfortable mentioning period related stuff/female health issues to your male Ts? I have no issue talking about sex, but periods make me feel less comfortable for some reason.
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LonesomeTonight, Taylor27
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childofchaos831, LonesomeTonight, Taylor27
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
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#2
When I had a male T, I was comfortable talking about it generally. Not in depth. Just like, "I'm on my period and it's messing with my mood." For me, the hormones always mess with me so my T kind of needs to know when I'm having a hard time because it. I have a female T now though.
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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LonesomeTonight, Merope
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#3
Yes, I feel generally comfortable talking with my male T about sex, but I do feel really uncomfortable mentioning period stuff. Like, I'll say, "This is TMI, but" ahead of any mention even of just having PMS. One of those times, he said, "Oh my goodness, you have a period???" in a joking tone, and that helped me feel more at ease. I mean, he's married, presumably his wife talks about hers. I realized another area of discomfort last week, when we were talking about drinking, and I was saying how I of course didn't drink while pregnant. He asked if I breastfed, and I said yes, and he was saying he assumed I didn't drink during that period either. I said how a few times, right after she'd eaten, I'd have a light beer. How some people say you have to "pump and dump" if you drink (like get rid of that breastmilk), but from what I've read it actually leaves your breastmilk like it does your blood. And then it suddenly struck me, "Oh, God, I'm talking about breastfeeding and pumping my breasts to my T..." and felt really awkward. He seemed totally fine about it though.
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childofchaos831, Lonelyinmyheart, Merope, SheHulk07
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
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#4
I don't have issues in that area, but I'd be comfortable talking about it if I did. My T used to be a gynecologist, so that might help a little.
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Merope
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
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#5
Not comfortable, but I still do talk about it just with less detail. Like I'll say I'm on my period and maybe that's why I'm feeling psychotic. Or lately I've told him I made an appointment to see my obgyn because my periods are suddenly irregular. I also talk about breastfeeding quite a bit, but I'm way more comfortable with that topic than periods. He doesn't bat an eye at any of it which makes it a little easier.
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LonesomeTonight, Merope
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#6
I think if my T had that sort of background, my hypochondria would take over and I’d inundate him with health concerns haha.
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LonesomeTonight
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healing from trauma
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#7
Now that i have a female therapist, I had to kinda of mention it because my depression sometimes gets really bad some months. It's getting easier to talk about it but i still feel uncomfortable talking about it.
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
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#8
I brought it up a while back. I can't remember why. He was really comfortable about it. Said he had women in his life who he loved who had periods which was a sweet way to say it was okay to talk about it. Two weeks ago I was having the period from hell - terrible cramps, heavy bleeding. It was stressing me out. I came into that session and told him I was terrified I was going to bleed on his couch and if I did I would fix it somehow. I was crying so he moved closer which made me feel less like a pariah. We talked about PMS and my fear that if he knew I get moody he would assume it was PMS every time I cried. He won't. We talked about how I find my period very triggering after some stuff my husband did to me. We talked about how he would be a support for me if I decide to go to a GYN because I have some triggers around that. I still feel it's a little embarrassing to talk about, but he makes it feel okay to talk about. My only issue is he used the term "lady bits" once and I don't know how I feel about that.
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Taylor27
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LonesomeTonight, Taylor27
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
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#9
I am actually kind of expecting my T to bring it up. I tend to be more emotional and needy that time of month and I am sure he has caught the pattern. He has been married twice and has two daughters so I am sure he is on the clue bus
But, it is not something I would bring up and I don’t really see any need to bringing it up. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Lemoncake
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
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#10
NP, your post reminded me of one time that I told my T that I thought part of why I reacted a certain way to something (forget if it was with him or H, I think H) was partly due to PMS. T said that doesn't make the feelings any less real. Which meant a lot, because I guess I'm used to guys just being like, "Oh, it's just PMS." And also for dismissing my own feelings for being hormones.
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NP_Complete
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#11
I was sort of the opposite. Discussions of sex were uncomfortable (but not impossible); discussions of periods/perimenopause/menopause were not a problem at all. It was pretty relevant to and connected to my mood, sleep issues, etc., so not a problem to discuss at all.
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LonesomeTonight, Merope, Taylor27
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#12
I havw never really talked about my period with anybody. Back when I had a regular cycle, my period definitely effected my mood. No that they are very sporadic, they dont have the same effected. I have been known to yell them that I know I might be more irritable or weepy since I am javing my period and then I move on
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Merope
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
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#13
Honestly, I thought this would be awful but it came out casually as heck with long term T, I was like, eh, and just kept talking. I mean he has obviously never had one but it's not like it was the first time he learned of it. LOL
He was really compassionate actually and felt sad for me about it, it was related to why I had a surgery earlier this year... With baby t, no, because he became too annoying and I couldn't do serious anything with him. t3, I'd sure hope so, after all, I survived the most awkward sex convo of my life with him and it was cool, so probably but I no longer get mine so I'd never to talk about it anymore Honestly just go for it though, I promise, it wont shock him and he isn't gonna be weirded out, guys are actually pretty sympathetic mostly with it. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Merope
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LonesomeTonight, Merope
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#14
I did. I see it as part of my physical reality like any other. There is a pretty strong association between PMS and increased anxiety for me, also when I was newly sober it was usually the week before my period when I struggled with cravings the most. Sometimes my T made overly complicated (and wrong) interpretations about what might have been causing my challenging emotional states and it helped me to think/say it is just PMS rather than trying to identify a mysterious cause that did not exist.
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LonesomeTonight, Merope
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