I could use a nudge from PC

Have you talked to T about this? Maybe you can have days where you discuss less intense topics especially if there is a bacation or big event coming up that you dont want to be overly emotional for

I have periods where I feel like I can't do the whole therapy thing anymore because of feeling overwhelmed or being in a good place and not wanting to rock the boat. When I expressed these feeling they have offered to cancel my appointment or tuoffered that we could have a lighter session with breathing or grounding techniques. They left it up to me. I always end up going and while it may not be as productive in that I felt like I made some big accomplishment, there was usially some more information they received from it and it also helped me to trust more. The last few appoinments have been very intense with T really digging. I has been really painful. This week I told her we need to back off a bit as we have been pushing too much. So we did that. we didn't discuss any of my trauma because she let me lead our conversation.

Yes, we talk about how difficult this is for me all the time now. It’s odd, I know, but it’s kind of the theme we always come back to. We don’t even necessarily discuss difficult topics. I just have a hard time being the center of attention and focusing the entire conversation on myself. When I do that for a session or two then I guess I start to feel the kickback and want to run away for the following few sessions. For me I think the work is about showing up which is easier said than done.

May I ask what made you seek therapy? You don't have to say it if you don't want to but it may be a good question to go back to for yourself. What were you hoping to get out of it? If you feel like you're not getting what you thought you would get, I think it's perfectly OK to just stop going. I think the fear of stopping may be tied to the fearful thought that whatever issue that made you go will never be resolved. I think that's a common feeling. I also think some issues have no immediate solutions. Others resolve themselves with time and don't need any specific action.

I initially sought therapy for the loss I was feeling around mental health issues related to my son. I had also stopped contact with my mother at that time. Although those issues still exist, my therapy has become about something different- about opening up to other people and not trying to go at it alone among other things.

I think it can be a very worthwhile endeavor. I had my own versions and am still working on it... Not in therapy, but I find it very important, sort of shifting my focus and perspective as an emotional baseline, adjusting my behaviors, so that I can be more connected and integrated in many ways. Keeping this in mind and reinforced based on good experiences have helped a great deal to achieve my other, seemingly more tangible goals. I am sure many introverts and/or people with isolating/avoidant tendencies can benefit from trying to improve these things. If you find a way to use your therapy for this purpose, I think it could lead to significant changes and more satisfaction also in the areas that you originally wanted to work on. Like it was said on some of your threads before - work on the root causes on deeper levels while attempting to achieve more practical improvements or emotional improvements relevant to your relationships and everyday life. The only thing I personally would not suggest is that you completely or largely stop / avoid working on those other things as well, in parallel. Sometimes the mind wants to take a more minimalistic, hyper-focused approach when things feel overwhelming but I always find it useful to remember that we most often have much more energy than what it feels like and can work on many things simultaneously, without for each track having to become superficial. If we wait to focus on and complete only one thing before tackling another, we will likely run out of time sooner or later, with regrets.