a Year and a half of miss understanding

I agree. Too much room for miscommunication (which may be what is already going on). Need to speak at least over the phone (better in person) where you can have a dialogue, hear voice inflection, ask questions, clarify.

I am in the process of writing an email. The email is happening so if anyone has suggestions to keep me safe here please feel free to do so.

Take a deep breath and ask him to clarify his last sentence. Put the ball directly from in his court. Good luck.

This is the reply I received:

I felt sad that you were feeling upset about something that came from our session - not hurt by your email. I understand that uncovering things in therapy can in turn make people feel bad, but I definitely don't want to contribute to that based on something I said. I want to do my best to convey that I understood your position and will respect it.

I see him Friday. He is going to ask me what I want to work on then if I am not going to discuss my disgusting coping habit.

Therapy relationships are vicarious. I mean one session everything is smooth and flowing fine and bam everything can be turned upside down in an instant. I think because these relationships are actually with a stranger, one sided, even though you might be seeing them weekly for years. Still a stranger. The connection is paper thin that can crumble really fast. No skin off the therapist back. They can get a new client easily to replace you. I do not even know his wife's name. I know he has kids but damn if I even know how many or their names. I get thrown a bone every now and again when he has a normal conversation with me as a grounding technique.

Wow that last sentence is truly weird! I suppose he was trying to use a double negative or something like that. However it doesn't sound well at all and definitely requires a discussion about the entire thing.

So much can be explored in this little email exchange.

It seems most people feel his response is harsh and punishing. That you should not talk about it anymore and just continue to suffer in silence sounds both cruel and absurd when it comes from him. It turns him into a punitive Bad Guy.
But he is not punishing you. He is reflecting you back to you. He is reflecting your self punishment back to you.
Is it disrespectful? It could be viewed that way.
It can also be viewed as being an expression of ultimate respect for your own self-sovereignty.
For him to take your words at face value only becomes problematic when the intention of those words was to communicate a different thing entirely. If your words were instead a cry for help and support and re-attachment (which they most likely were) then it could be claimed the appropriate response would be to help, support and be the initiator or reattachment.
Arguments could be made for it to be more appropriate to respond to the content of the words, and arguments could be made that it would be more appropriate to respond to the unstated intention of the words.
Ultimately, who is he to ascribe his own opposite intention to another person's words? Is it his responsibility to ascribe an intention or to take words at face value?
I think many therapists would take emailed words at face value, even when in a broader social context an alternative meaning is more likely.