How do you self soothe after therapy

Just that really. I'm in between therapists. Finished therapy prematurely in February after a bad rupture. Now waiting to start again but this time not privately so on a waiting list. Meanwhile I've managed to develop intense maternal transference issues towards my psychiatrist just like I did with my therapist. After every time I see her I have to binge and chain smoke cigarettes (I'm not even a smoker). And still I'm in turmoil for days. Feeling abandoned, sad, just totally alone and like there is no point in this life because I will never be able to receive that perfect care.


How do you all self soothe after therapy? After a particularly difficult session? I need to develop healthier ways to cope than what I currently do.

Fantasy.

I listen to music and I come on here and seek support from others. Hugs

I like to wrap up in a blanket or get under my weighted blanket and rest for a while. Or walk aimlessly around a crowded place like a mall where I can lose myself in the process and just let my mind think without me really having to "be there". HUGS Kit

Deep daydreaming, binge purging because any heavy emotions cause me to do that as I have little tolerance for overwhelming emotions.

Thanks everyone. I've been looking into getting a weighted blanket but they're so expensive. I wish I would find my DH a bit more emotionally safe so that I could seek that comforting from him. No way I would even try to talk to him about this. I wish there was someone big and cuddly to scoop me up and stroke my hair when I'm struggling. If there was though maybe I wouldn't struggle so much. Or a cat or a dog would be nice too. But dh hates cats and dogs. Sigh. What has my life become.

My little brother found away to get weighted without breaking the bank ,check your local hospital X ray department ,they frequently retire lead blankets ,and are happy to give them away.

I got one on amazon recently for $50 Australian if you buy them here you pay $200+ starting

I go to our church's adoration chapel. A good friend of mine is also there and she knows I come directly from therapy. She always gives me a warm hug. I spend my time in the chapel both in prayer and ptoceasing my appointment me T. I also think about how God would want me to proceed.. I spend about an hour there and just feel safe and cared for.

I honestly generally didn't have time. I headed home to kids and cooking dinner and laundry. But getting busy and out of that head space was actually a good way to get grounded and not ruminate over my sessions, so it worked for me.

I'm the worst person to try and answer this . I struggle, and have logged many hours of my life crying in the stairwell trying to get my game face back on for real life. It's so painful. bc it stems from somewhere else in time, and the therapist, no matter how good, cannot cure that damage quickly.

I try to have a simple routine where after every session I take a 10-20 minute walk (weather permitting). Sometimes I also sit and have a cup of coffee or a snack, and sometimes I write for a little while if there's time. Ultimately it also depends on what my schedule and workload are like. and after some sessions I do have to head straight to work or something else afterwards. But I've found that overall I'm much better off when I leave myself an intentional buffer to decompress a little. Trying to just shove the feelings back down immediately is both painful and often unsuccessful, and I find that I'm much more productive for the rest of the day if I allow myself time to sort through whatever difficult things cropped up.

After an especially difficult session, I do occasionally need to drop everything else to deal with the aftermath. Often a longer walk. Good food, writing about it, sometimes texting a friend or my partner to let them know I'm having a rough day. Sometimes all I can do is go home and nap or distract myself.

I am sorry that you are struggling. Know that you are not alone.

There is no specific thing that will help. You have to find out what works for you. Transference is a tell-tale sign for particular issues brewing deep down. It seems you already know it is a maternal transference; that is valuable insight. Perhaps you should see a male therapist so that the maternal transference issues will not invade the therapeutic relationship. I know how it is - I wanted to back to it because [for a time] a therapist can fulfill those needs; but that doesn't last forever. It will end. As heartbreaking and as healing an experience it can be to go work through that, try to focus on what is less painful. Going back to find another therapist only to experience the same maternal transference would suggest that no matter what you do in therapy, you will always have a maternal wound. That is something I can attest to. That yearning for a mother figure is a real need and there are many theories about how we can heal that wound. For myself, I have learned to nurture and support myself in the way that a mother ought to. How I do this is unique to me and will differ from others who have managed to cope with the same and or similar afflictions. I wear diapers, hug teddy bears, wrap up in blankies and gentle care for myself. That is a nightly thing, sometimes all day if need be. That way I don't rely on external factors. While this is impractical in the long-term, it certainly allows me to experience similar feelings.

Do you have a good relationship with your biological mother? Would you say there is a correlation between your relationship with your mother and your maternal transference issues? Sometimes our maternal issues could spark from unmet needs, but sometimes it can also come from a desire to return to an otherwise positive maternal experience. What resonates most with you?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz