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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 06:04 AM
  #21
I’m so sorry you went through that kiwi. I had a similar experience and posted the link about my healing journey below:

Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

It’s especially alienating to have such an emotionally destructive experience in therapy because there’s not much public awareness around therapy risk. It’s usually the black/white extreme cases of abuse that make the headlines. I too believe my ex-therapist was warm and genuinely caring - just with issues too. I was with my therapist for 8 years and viewed her as a pseudo-mother... and now, couldn’t book an appointment with her again even if I wanted to. It’s beyond devastating to have a relationship like that sour and the damage to my core was (and is)quite extreme. The self-healing I’ve been able to accomplish is remarkable but there are still some deep broken pieces I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fix.

Thank you again for posting your story, and you are not alone!
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 08:16 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
this was one of the most difficult aspects of the therapy harm for me to personally come to terms with. my ex-T wasn't being evil or malicious...he actually has quite a big kind heart and means well, but it was mainly his own unresolved/ unknown underlying issues and countertransference sprinkled with a bit of a lack of competency to work with my complex issues that lead to most the harm. it's this conflict, plus the fact that i cared deeply for him, and still do as a person (and he says he cares for me too), that has been the most challenging to understand, except, and to get my head and heart fully around.
This was very, very difficult for me as well. T#8 was a nice, sweet, and caring person. But similar to your ex-T it sounds like, she had her own unresolved issues I believe as well as inexperience. I understand it now, but for a while the fact that she was so nice and sweet made it all seem so unreal.... How could someone like that actually have hurt me so incredibly much? That really messed me up. I thought I must’ve been making all this up or just being way overly dramatic. I often found myself WISHING that she had just physically hit me or put her hands on me in some way or done something so blatantly harmful and unethical, just for me to feel more justified and validated in how hurt I felt...
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kiwi215
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 08:32 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by PurpleMirrors3 View Post
I’m so sorry you went through that kiwi. I had a similar experience and posted the link about my healing journey below:

Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

It’s especially alienating to have such an emotionally destructive experience in therapy because there’s not much public awareness around therapy risk. It’s usually the black/white extreme cases of abuse that make the headlines. I too believe my ex-therapist was warm and genuinely caring - just with issues too. I was with my therapist for 8 years and viewed her as a pseudo-mother... and now, couldn’t book an appointment with her again even if I wanted to. It’s beyond devastating to have a relationship like that sour and the damage to my core was (and is)quite extreme. The self-healing I’ve been able to accomplish is remarkable but there are still some deep broken pieces I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fix.

Thank you again for posting your story, and you are not alone!
Wow... thank you so much for sharing. I read your post, and what a painful yet beautiful story. I too have wrestled with attachment issues and sort of this unconscious search for a “good enough mother” and it can sure be troublesome. I also found EMDR to be very helpful, and as you touched on, it helped me see that therapy doesn’t all have to be about attachment and “pseudo-mothers” and all that. With my EMDR therapist, I liked her and felt safe enough with her and we established a good rapport, but I never got attached to her and when it came time to leave, I felt comfortable doing so because our work together was meaningful and helpful to me, yet she hadn’t fostered a dependent relationship.

Again, I’m sorry that you went through what you did. I’m glad that you have decided to speak up about it as well. Hopefully our sharing of our stories will reach more people and either provide them comfort in knowing they are not alone, or serve as a sort of PSA that therapy can harm. Also, the self care practice that you detailed seems very compassionate and healing... something that I hope you continue as long as it serves you and that I may consider applying to myself. I wish you nothing but continued healing!
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