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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 10:59 AM
  #41
I always knew that I would always have to work on my psychiatric problems because my anxiety and panic disorder as well as depression are chronic so I already planned to stay on top of my mental health but now I have to stay on top of this too.

I did read that some people go into remission and some even no longer meet the criteria for the diagnosis. That offered some hope.

There’s actually many medical disorders that are stigmatized.

Do you think that I will be able to accept this?
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 11:12 AM
  #42
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Originally Posted by hopealwayz View Post
I always knew that I would always have to work on my psychiatric problems because my anxiety and panic disorder as well as depression are chronic so I already planned to stay on top of my mental health but now I have to stay on top of this too.

I did read that some people go into remission and some even no longer meet the criteria for the diagnosis. That offered some hope.

There’s actually many medical disorders that are stigmatized.

Do you think that I will be able to accept this?
Yes, definitely, many conditions that are out of the normal/average range are stigmatized. I think it is significantly better than even 10 years ago, but still.

I think some people with BPD improve a lot and even become symptom-free with normal aging. Isolating may not help though as you already crave the connection and care so much, by default... depriving yourself might just make the symptoms worse, not better. Like excessive physical starvation from organic nutrients.

I think many people accept their BPD diagnosis and learn to live with it and work around it. There are a few on this forum as well. Maybe try to talk with some of them privately or even seek out support groups in your 3D life.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 12:41 PM
  #43
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was eighteen years old, by a psychiatrist I only saw once. I ignored it and continued trying to work on just my depression.

Fast forward to age 43 and a therapist whom I had been seeing for four months and whom I trusted also diagnosed me with BPD.

I was devastated to think that I'd been trying to run away from that diagnosis for 25 years and it was still there. My depression had not improved in the past 25 years and in fact it was worse. So I decided I had to address the BPD head on.

I did a lot of hard work and I still met several criteria for BPD but I have a much better grasp on my life and I'm not held hostage by my emotions any longer. It was definitely worth the work for me and my depression has improved considerably as well.

It is a stigmatized diagnosis but it sounds like your T is willing to continue to work with you despite the diagnosis. Take advantage of that and keep moving forward.

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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #44
DBT does wonders for people with BPD but it also helps depression. DBT will help you gain the skills to tolerate your feelings and stop the all or nothing thoughts. I really hope you can find a DBT group Hope. I don't have BPD but I went to classes for 2 years and have improved so much with them. I have huge issues dealing with emotions. It is a slow process but so worth it. At least noq I know what I need to work on and how to do it. It is now up to me whether I want to do the right thing or not. I am in control.

I know some people try to do it on their own but I personally could never have made any progress without the classes. It takes a lot of effort to get your mind to look at things differently and my mind was just too screwed up and stuck in it's ways to turn things around on my own.

I wish you the best hope. Remember you are still the same person with the same problems with or without a dx but as long as you have one, try working on recovery. The same skills that improve BPD also improve depression and anxiety. It certainly can't hurt.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 02:50 PM
  #45
The other problem is that I only have some of the BPD traits but not enough for the diagnosis. So now my T and I are in disagreement and I don’t know what to do.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 02:54 PM
  #46
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The other problem is that I only have some of the BPD traits but not enough for the diagnosis. So now my T and I are in disagreement and I don’t know what to do.
You don't have to do anything. Not everything has to be definat . Sitting with uncertainty is fine too.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 02:59 PM
  #47
It seems you have enough of bothersome symptoms of bpd that it is affecting your quality of life. Rather than getting hung up on the diagnosis, work toward working through those symptoms so that you live in less distress and pain.

Last edited by ArtleyWilkins; Jul 19, 2019 at 04:57 PM..
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Default Jul 20, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #48
I am in so much pain right now.

The office is going to call me at the beginning of the week if there are any cancellations but I doubt that they are going to get a cancellation.
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Default Jul 20, 2019 at 06:48 PM
  #49
And I also wish my T would find out if I have PTSD. I’ve been through several major traumas. He seems to only do what he wants and disregards everything else.
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Default Jul 20, 2019 at 07:12 PM
  #50
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And I also wish my T would find out if I have PTSD. I’ve been through several major traumas. He seems to only do what he wants and disregards everything else.
Just because you've been through trauma, doesn't actually mean you have PTSD. My doctors disagree on that: Pdoc says PTSD and T says no PTSD. Again, the diagnosis doesn't really matter. It's the symptoms that matter.

And it's okay if you don't have all the symptoms of BPD. You can have Borderline traits. Would that sound better for you? But again, it's the symptoms that matter. And treatment for Borderline traits is the same as BPD. And DBT can help with PTSD as well.

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Default Jul 20, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #51
Thanks for that.

Saying BPD traits isn’t so bad for me.

My T is really experienced with personality disorders.

My T is really smart.

Next week is taking forever to get here because I’m suffering

But I’m also nervous to face him.
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 07:42 AM
  #52
I have a job interview tomorrow.
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 07:45 AM
  #53
Good luck in your interview!
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 08:01 AM
  #54
I would agree, focus on the symptoms that cause you difficulties and emotional pain. Psychiatric diagnoses are rarely absolute, most conditions run more as a spectrum that varies between individuals and fluctuates even within one person's life. Some symptoms can also be precipitates by momentarily undergoing some other conditional difficulties and disappear/become latent when things go reasonably well.

Good luck with the job interview!
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 08:37 AM
  #55
Good luck with your job interview, hugs
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 02:03 PM
  #56
Thanks and much to all of you for helping me cope and deal with this. I’m still in so much pain. I did write T a letter explaining the BPD traits that I struggle with and told him that I’m willing to work on those but I also told him that I didn’t want a diagnosis if it wasn’t an appropriate diagnosis.

I’m kind of upset at him today. I’m sitting here with a painful issue that can mess up my quality of life and he is in his perfect life today probably even planning his wedding.
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 10:52 PM
  #57
Now I’m getting the feeling that I REALLY don’t want to see him at all this week.
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 11:22 PM
  #58
If you stop seeing this t, it won’t make your symptoms and traits and certain emotional responses and behaviors disappear.

You’ve seen many therapists and I mentioned before that I feel they failed you because they never properly addressed your true issues.

Perhaps this t is the first one to correctly identify traits that you exhibit.

So perhaps someone finally looks into things on a deeper level. So maybe he has a plan on how to improve your responses. Maybe you could give it a minute and see how he thinks you can work on it. DBT or something else.

Sure you can quit and find a new t the one who won’t say you have BPD but is it going to change how you feel, think and behave? It won’t. So you’ll be back to square one. Don’t you want to get better?

having an idea of what’s wrong is the first step in getting better. Give it some time.
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Default Jul 21, 2019 at 11:58 PM
  #59
It is not about finding someone who won’t say BPD. It’s the fact that my T is trying to give me the full diagnosis when I only have 3 out of the 9 traits. I told him that I would work on the traits that I have but I don’t want to end up getting treated for things that aren’t the real issues.

And when I told him that I didn’t have the psychiatric problems until my mom died, he said something and I asked him if BPD comes suddenly and he almost made it sound normal that it appeared after my mom’s death when I had absolutely no mental health issues prior to her death.

If I leave this T, I am done with therapy altogether.

T doesn’t even know how much pain I’m in. I seriously doubt that he can help me feel better at the upcoming session.
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Default Jul 22, 2019 at 02:20 AM
  #60
You don't need to leave this therapist. You have been doing really well with him. Right now you are reacting (understandably) to finding out about the diagnosis, and your emotions are all over the place as you work through that (again, understandably). Even if it right now it feels like quitting would be good, you can be assured that once the emotions all settle down you will feel differently about this ... you won't know yet in which way you will feel differently about it, but you can be assured it won't be the same as you feel -now-. I made it a rule that I couldn't make any major decisions until I was done with the emotional backlash from any given thing... because the emotions are but fleeting - they will *always* change. Decisions can be made once the feelings have settled down.
Later, when the emotional storm subsides you will be able to think clearly from a more rational and less emotional place. Then you will have a much better understanding of the right choice to make for you.
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