Extremely upset after receiving new diagnosis

hopealwayz · Jul 22, 2019 at 04:07 AM

Thanks for putting that into perspective. I am so upset right now that I don’t even know what to say to him. I just feel stuck and I don’t know how to get past it.

Bill3 · Jul 22, 2019 at 05:27 AM

It sounds like he sees five (or more) criteria and you see three. Maybe talk specifically with him about the other two, each sharing your perspective?

With regard to your mother’s death, I am very sorry for your loss. I am thinking though that, for diagnosis, either you meet the criteria or you don’t. When and how those criteria manifested themselves is a separate question.

Amyjay · Jul 22, 2019 at 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

Thanks for putting that into perspective. I am so upset right now that I don’t even know what to say to him. I just feel stuck and I don’t know how to get past it.

Even though upset feelings are very uncomfortable, it's okay to have them Right in this moment you don't need to say anything to him or get past it. All you have to do in this moment is find a self-supportive way to help you ride out the emotional rollercoaster. That's all you have to do. By the time it is time to meet with him again your feelings will be in a different place to where they are right in this minute and you can address those feelings then. All you have to do now is ride this out and wait this out. Even the stuck part will be easier to think about once the emotional storm calms down.
You're getting through this okay. Just keep riding out this storm, it is going to pass.

divine1966 · Jul 22, 2019 at 06:19 AM

You maybe see 3 traits. But other people in real life and online etc etc and mental health professional possibly observe more. Talk to him some more about it.

It’s ok to be upset. But don’t make bad decisions because you are upset. Talk to your t

hopealwayz · Jul 22, 2019 at 07:02 AM

It’s about as upsetting as my last psychiatrist trying to diagnose me with Bipolar and I got upset and told him that I quit. Bipolar runs in my family. And now I will never be able to find out if I actually had Bipolar.

Jul 22, 2019 at 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

It’s about as upsetting as my last psychiatrist trying to diagnose me with Bipolar and I got upset and told him that I quit. Bipolar runs in my family. And now I will never be able to find out if I actually had Bipolar.

You'd know. You wouldn't need a dx.

ArtleyWilkins · Jul 22, 2019 at 08:33 AM

I don't see the bipolar-ness in you at all, but the bpd traits seem to very much fit what seems to come across at least here on PC. You say you only have 3 of the 9 traits, but your own assessment apparently doesn't appear to take in all that your psychiatrist is seeing in you or what others online may be observing. Talk to him about it some more at your next appointment. As you settle down a bit, you may be able to more clearly look at this. As others have said, don't make major decisions when you are so emotionally activated. There's no rush.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 22, 2019 at 08:39 AM

Since you said the symptoms started after your mother died, has PTSD been considered? Loss of a loved one can be considered trauma.

divine1966 · Jul 22, 2019 at 09:34 AM

We don’t suppose to diagnose on here and I don’t but going from just what you’ve been posting over the years and events and your reactions to those events I could see 5-6 traits, not 3. And it’s only from reading online. Go talk to your pdoc (because really that’s who you are seeing and who diagnose you) and discuss what traits he is seeing and what he wants you to do to improve.

Is your goal to improve your life or to have a formal diagnosis that’s less stigmatizing. I understand not wanting to have this diagnosis and I really feel for you. But what’s your goal? Focus on your goal. Go talk to him

hopealwayz · Jul 22, 2019 at 10:42 AM

I don’t think he wants to see me and neither does anyone else in the office. They haven’t gotten any cancellations so I haven’t been able to get in until Wednesday. And I am very upset so I told them that I may take a month or 2 off. I just don’t even care about anything anymore. And that office doesn’t care that I’m hurting either.

divine1966 · Jul 22, 2019 at 10:58 AM

How often do you normally see him? Wednesday is coming up so it’s pretty soon. I am not sure what you mean him wanting or not wanting to see you. It’s doctor’s visit, not social call or a date.

I’d agree that office likely doesn’t care about you. Why would they? They just do their job. They aren’t there to care. My t’s office staff is largely clueless. They can’t even get my copay straight let alone anything else.

Hang in there till Wednesday. Not getting any help for 2 months is a bad idea. Telling them you not going to see him for two month because you are upset or can’t get sooner appt is a bit of acting out again. Wait till Wednesday.

Don’t cancel appts and don’t tell them you aren’t going to see him. Find distractions. Go for a walk. Watch a funny tv show.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 22, 2019 at 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I don’t think he wants to see me and neither does anyone else in the office. They haven’t gotten any cancellations so I haven’t been able to get in until Wednesday. And I am very upset so I told them that I may take a month or 2 off. I just don’t even care about anything anymore. And that office doesn’t care that I’m hurting either.

If they don't have cancellations, then they can't get you in. It's nothing personal about you. If you were in immediate crisis, they could probably find a spot, but it doesn't sound like you are.

hopealwayz · Jul 22, 2019 at 11:24 AM

If the people in the office don’t care about me, I wouldn’t go back. They’ve been good to me in the past.

I don’t think you understand how much pain I’m in.

I’m done talking about this.

Jul 22, 2019 at 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

If the people in the office don’t care about me, I wouldn’t go back. They’ve been good to me in the past.

I don’t think you understand how much pain I’m in.

I’m done talking about this.

Have you not read any of the replys. You do know this forum is for those in psychotherapy, that gives a slight clue that everyone here has suffered emotional pain.

Try reaching out to others. You'll be surprised just how much you forget your own pain.

ArtleyWilkins · Jul 22, 2019 at 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

If the people in the office don’t care about me, I wouldn’t go back. They’ve been good to me in the past.

I don’t think you understand how much pain I’m in.

I’m done talking about this.

Wednesday is only a few days away. If they don't have cancellations, that isn't personal; it's just fact. The office people are just doing their job. You therapist/pdoc is the person who you will sit down with and talk to about this, and I suspect he cares since he has taken the time to figure you out, he's called the crisis unit when he was worried about your welfare.

Resist the default reaction to run away. It's a pretty common reaction for you (and ties to your diagnosis that you are disputing btw).

02:11 PM

Hope, I am sorry that you are going through so much pain. I have been a lurker here for a long time and have only been posting for awhile. Since it is inappropriate to diagnose anyone, I wanted to ask you this:

Do you recognize these BPD traits in yourself?

1. Issues with abandonment
2. Difficulty with boundaries (constant emailing)
3. Extreme emotional reactions (difficulty regulating emotions.)
4. Suicidal thoughts
5. Impulsive behavior (cancelling sessions out of anger or being hurt)
6. Splitting (all good or all bad thinking)

After reading your posts for a long time, these are the traits that I come up with. I am in no way attacking you. I just thought that I would ask you if you see these traits in yourself. Do these sound familiar?

It sounds like you are working with a good psychiatrist. I'd say stick with him and see if he can be of any help to you.

SlumberKitty · Jul 22, 2019 at 01:54 PM

Hi Hope. Try to breathe and take things slow and not just react. Not having cancellations isn't personal, it just happens. Try to not cancel your appointment. Go see your T on your appointment day and talk about everything that has been distressing you. Best of luck dear heart. HUGS Kit

Jul 22, 2019 at 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I don’t think he wants to see me and neither does anyone else in the office. They haven’t gotten any cancellations so I haven’t been able to get in until Wednesday. And I am very upset so I told them that I may take a month or 2 off. I just don’t even care about anything anymore. And that office doesn’t care that I’m hurting either.

When a provider has no cancellations, it is not personal. Even having to wait a long time for an appointment isn't either. Before my psychologist went on vacation for the week, I had to wait 3 weeks to see him because he was completely booked. Many, many patients needed to see him before he went on break; some had appointments that just fell around that time. So he was so booked that (again) I had to wait 3 weeks to see him. It is not that he doesn't care. He just didn't have availability because I am not his only patient.

Jul 22, 2019 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Wednesday is only a few days away. If they don't have cancellations, that isn't personal; it's just fact. The office people are just doing their job. You therapist/pdoc is the person who you will sit down with and talk to about this, and I suspect he cares since he has taken the time to figure you out, he's called the crisis unit when he was worried about your welfare.

Resist the default reaction to run away. It's a pretty common reaction for you (and ties to your diagnosis that you are disputing btw).

Good point stopping therapy abruptly out of anger and frustration would be very impulsive for you. Hope, don't stop therapy. Just focus on the treatment and follow what he has to say.

Taylor27 · Jul 22, 2019 at 03:15 PM

I would not cancel, he must be booked up with app and Weds is not that far away. Just breathe and remember your t cares about you even when he is busy. I know it's hard to sit with allot of painful emotions but Wednesday will come soon enough. Please don't cancel it will be ok. Big hugs

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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 04:07 AM #61 Thanks for putting that into perspective. I am so upset right now that I don’t even know what to say to him. I just feel stuck and I don’t know how to get past it.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,367 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 06:19 AM #64 You maybe see 3 traits. But other people in real life and online etc etc and mental health professional possibly observe more. Talk to him some more about it. It’s ok to be upset. But don’t make bad decisions because you are upset. Talk to your t
	Reply With Quote

hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 07:02 AM #65 It’s about as upsetting as my last psychiatrist trying to diagnose me with Bipolar and I got upset and told him that I quit. Bipolar runs in my family. And now I will never be able to find out if I actually had Bipolar.
	Reply With Quote

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,735 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 08:39 AM #68 Since you said the symptoms started after your mother died, has PTSD been considered? Loss of a loved one can be considered trauma.
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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 10:42 AM #70 I don’t think he wants to see me and neither does anyone else in the office. They haven’t gotten any cancellations so I haven’t been able to get in until Wednesday. And I am very upset so I told them that I may take a month or 2 off. I just don’t even care about anything anymore. And that office doesn’t care that I’m hurting either.
	Reply With Quote

hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 11:24 AM #73 If the people in the office don’t care about me, I wouldn’t go back. They’ve been good to me in the past. I don’t think you understand how much pain I’m in. I’m done talking about this.
	Reply With Quote

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 01:54 PM #77 Hi Hope. Try to breathe and take things slow and not just react. Not having cancellations isn't personal, it just happens. Try to not cancel your appointment. Go see your T on your appointment day and talk about everything that has been distressing you. Best of luck dear heart. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Jul 22, 2019 at 03:15 PM #80 I would not cancel, he must be booked up with app and Weds is not that far away. Just breathe and remember your t cares about you even when he is busy. I know it's hard to sit with allot of painful emotions but Wednesday will come soon enough. Please don't cancel it will be ok. Big hugs
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