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Magnate
MoxieDoxie
trust is a myth and caring is a painful lie
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
365 hugs
given |
#41
Quote:
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Omers
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Grand Magnate
Omers
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
3,133 hugs
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#42
Yesterday T and I were working on severely neglected infant me. I had told T that my protective parts did not feel it was safe yet to allow T to be with infant me. T held my hand to try and help keep me grounded. T told me what he would have said to “that little baby” had he been there. He uses that language because of my protective parts not wanting him near my young parts. He told me that even though she was inconsolable if he had been a nurse where I was born he would have held me. He would have told me he was sorry I was born into this difficult life. He said he would have told that baby he hoped that she would find loving, compassionate people in her life that could show her something better. At the end of session we always hug. At the end of session it was a really long hug and he repeated all those things to infant me while he was holding me in that hug. Personally, with my attachment issues I find this far more healing and helpful than the T who identified some of the unmet child needs and then dumped those needs on adult me as if I had somehow miraculously discovered how to meet needs I didn’t understand on whichever birthday it was when I magically became an “adult”.
Moxi, I wish I could loan you my T or at least one of his really great hugs if you wanted it. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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MoxieDoxie
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Magnate
MoxieDoxie
trust is a myth and caring is a painful lie
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
365 hugs
given |
#43
Never tell your therapist you are attached to them.
Never tell your therapist you depend on them. Never write them an email that might piss them off even the slightest. You get punished for showing any improvement. He started his session off with "We need to discuss cutting sessions down." I saw the change in the way he dealt with me. He did a complete 360 after an email I sent him 3 weeks ago and saw the slow change after I tried to talk to him about my transference. I feel sick. __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Elio, here today, koru_kiwi, SlumberKitty
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Veteran Member
koru_kiwi
has awakened
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
1,231 hugs
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#44
Quote:
my ex-T didn't do a very fantastic job either of handling my transference or his own counter transference for that matter it's not an easy predicament to be stuck in, especially when there is such overwhelming pain involved. just know that you are not alone as you work through this |
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SlumberKitty
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here today, MoxieDoxie
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