Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

SlumberKitty · Aug 28, 2019 at 06:18 PM

Stupid SUI thoughts aren't going away. Argh. I'm almost off of work. I'm about to hang out with my friend. I'm having tons of visual hallucinations and these dang thoughts. I don't have another $90 to spend on shoes for retail therapy so I gotta think of some other stuff. Pulls out coping box. Hmm. Reading. Sleeping. Laying under my weighted blankets. Listening to music. Going to my friend's house. (different friend). Playing with my pets. Going to the hospital if it won't stop. Emailing former T. Asking a friend to pray for me/with me. Hang out with my parents. Play a game. Go to the crises center. Play basketball. Go for a run. Eat ice cream. Bake something. Okay I got some ideas. Even thinking about stuff I can do seemed to help a little. I just gotta get distracted enough that I'm not noticing the thoughts.

unaluna · Aug 28, 2019 at 06:27 PM

Slumber, when do you next see your pdoc? The visual hallucinations may be related to your other unpleasant symptoms. Dont make me start nagging you! With artie on break, i have all kindsa free nag time!

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 28, 2019 at 06:27 PM

Kit - Do you take any meds? My sui thoughts used to be horrible. I had one Pdoc give me an antipsychotic and it really helped. I now take Abilify and it's a life saver...literally.

SlumberKitty · Aug 28, 2019 at 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Slumber, when do you next see your pdoc? The visual hallucinations may be related to your other unpleasant symptoms. Dont make me start nagging you! With artie on break, i have all kindsa free nag time!

I have an appointment with my PDOC in November. It's a ways away but hopefully things will level out soon. Thank you.

SlumberKitty · Aug 28, 2019 at 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Kit - Do you take any meds? My sui thoughts used to be horrible. I had one Pdoc give me an antipsychotic and it really helped. I now take Abilify and it's a life saver...literally.

Thanks, yes, I take an anti depressant, an anti psychotic, ADHD medication which my PDOC uses to augment the AD, anti anxiety medication, and sleep medication. I also take migraine meds, and statin meds, and fish oil. The Rexulti (ap) does help but it makes me very numb and having blunted emotions. Hugs Kit

09:06 PM

Stupid exT i was fine until my GP said that exT definitely wasnt taking new clients and not re-engaging with old ones. Now my anger is just suddenly there and i cant stop shaking.
I so want to send him a text or email telling him how i know.

Aug 28, 2019 at 09:27 PM

I bit my tongue and now i am ropable i hate him soooo much

SheHulk07 · Aug 28, 2019 at 09:33 PM

I'm so frustrated with myself. I went into therapy session with the intent to tell T about my SI this week. Got cold feet and started talking about my father "tickling" my feet this afternoon.

Possible trigger:

Any touch esp to my feet or boobs triggers me due to the SA. I mentioned SH and not feeling safe in my house. Just mentioning that sent me into an anxiety attack and I messed up my arm by rubbing it raw.

I couldn't put the words together of what set me off and couldn't calm down until I started driving home. Now I feel like if I mention the SI tomorrow we won't have time to discuss it because it'll be our weekend and Monday is Labor Day. I should have mentioned it today.

Possible trigger:

Kicking self in butt

susannahsays · Aug 28, 2019 at 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Stupid exT i was fine until my GP said that exT definitely wasnt taking new clients and not re-engaging with old ones. Now my anger is just suddenly there and i cant stop shaking.
I so want to send him a text or email telling him how i know.

Wait, why is that making you mad? I thought that's what he had told you - that he wouldn't take you back because he's scaling back.

Sorry this continues to all be a nightmare for you. How is the new therapist going?

Aug 28, 2019 at 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Wait, why is that making you mad? I thought that's what he had told you - that he wouldn't take you back because he's scaling back.

Sorry this continues to all be a nightmare for you. How is the new therapist going?

Sorry you must have missed the bit where i sent him an email, from a fake potential client and responded by offering this person ongoing session starting November. The jury is out om the new therapist.

Aug 28, 2019 at 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

I'm so frustrated with myself. I went into therapy session with the intent to tell T about my SI this week. Got cold feet and started talking about my father "tickling" my feet this afternoon.

Possible trigger:

Any touch esp to my feet or boobs triggers me due to the SA. I mentioned SH and not feeling safe in my house. Just mentioning that sent me into an anxiety attack and I messed up my arm by rubbing it raw.

I couldn't put the words together of what set me off and couldn't calm down until I started driving home. Now I feel like if I mention the SI tomorrow we won't have time to discuss it because it'll be our weekend and Monday is Labor Day. I should have mentioned it today.

Possible trigger:

Kicking self in butt

Hugs just want you to know i know how you feeel

susannahsays · Aug 28, 2019 at 09:52 PM

Yeah, I missed that. Why are you biting your tongue about it? What's the point? I think I'd tell the GP, too, even if she would have some sort of opinion about the email ruse. Maybe it would help you somehow if she at least knew he was being dishonest.

Aug 28, 2019 at 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Yeah, I missed that. Why are you biting your tongue about it? What's the point? I think I'd tell the GP, too, even if she would have some sort of opinion about the email ruse. Maybe it would help you somehow if she at least knew he was being dishonest.

I accidently bit my tongue while was throwing things about. He is a friend of my GP. I suppose i could tell her.

susannahsays · Aug 28, 2019 at 10:09 PM

Yeah or you could book the appointment and pie him in the face. Ok, maybe assaulting him with a pie is a bad idea. You could have someone deliver a pizza with a mean message spelled out in M & Ms. Idk. Mail him a rotten fish?

stopdog · Aug 28, 2019 at 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

T emailed me back on Monday.. and I have been trying to ignore the email. But his last line of the email “I hope you will return, so we can work through this” is haunting me. Why couldn’t he have said something that pissed me off or I could have misconstrued as he didn’t want to work with me anymore? I know seems silly.. but that would help me ignore him right now.

I mean the truth is I feel like I am done with therapy with him. Not because I think I have accomplished all I want, but because t and I are frequently dealing with more and more ruptures and it’s tiring.

But... I miss the relationship. I miss the safety I feel in his office. And I miss knowing I have that support if I need it. Which I am sure I could get with a new t. But I just don’t know if I can go through the whole process of finding and a t, retelling my story, and establishing that t/client relationship again.

I think it is good to know when you are done with a therapist. Moving to a new therapist doesn't mean you have to retell your whole story - or not in the way you did with the old one. I think you can do it with a new one. You have not been happy with this old one for awhile and he has been dropping the ball a lot. Go for what is best for you and, for what it is worth, I don't think this guy has been that good for awhile. Take your power and use it for yourself.

Aug 29, 2019 at 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Yeah or you could book the appointment and pie him in the face. Ok, maybe assaulting him with a pie is a bad idea. You could have someone deliver a pizza with a mean message spelled out in M & Ms. Idk. Mail him a rotten fish?

I have seriously thought about booking the appointment but i would miss the element of surprise as his window lokks into the car park.

Aug 29, 2019 at 01:26 AM

I have decided, because i live in a large town if the topic of psychologists come up i will just tell my story, sow a seed of doubt etc

Lemoncake · Aug 29, 2019 at 01:28 AM

I would be tempted to tell your GP the truth, that he lied simply.

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 29, 2019 at 01:31 AM

I used to have evil thoughts about my ex-T. I thought about sending her tons of pictures of kittens (she hated cats), a barbie doll without it's head (she hated the smell of barbie dolls), a dead rose on our anniversary of the termination. I had other evil thoughts too. I didn't act upon any of them. One reason, I didn't want to be hit with harrassment charges. Another because I did want answers from her one day (which I kimd of got). Now that 4 years have passed, I no longer wish to harass her.

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 29, 2019 at 01:46 AM

I just wrote an upset email to L. I did something "wrong" and I feel like she chastised me. I'm supposed to tell her in my emails how I'd like her to respond. Sometimes I don't know. Sometimes I just write and then send it to her without thinking. I'm hurting so much over this. I feel so bad...like I'm bad. I'm screwing up this relationship.

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Couch 203: The Spam and Cool Whip Couch!

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,958 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.6k hugs given	Aug 28, 2019 at 06:27 PM #742 Slumber, when do you next see your pdoc? The visual hallucinations may be related to your other unpleasant symptoms. Dont make me start nagging you! With artie on break, i have all kindsa free nag time!

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,419 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,445 hugs given	Aug 28, 2019 at 06:27 PM #743 Kit - Do you take any meds? My sui thoughts used to be horrible. I had one Pdoc give me an antipsychotic and it really helped. I now take Abilify and it's a life saver...literally. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 28, 2019 at 08:54 PM #746 Stupid exT i was fine until my GP said that exT definitely wasnt taking new clients and not re-engaging with old ones. Now my anger is just suddenly there and i cant stop shaking. I so want to send him a text or email telling him how i know. Last edited by Anonymous42961; Aug 28, 2019 at 09:06 PM..

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 28, 2019 at 09:27 PM #747 I bit my tongue and now i am ropable i hate him soooo much

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Aug 28, 2019 at 09:52 PM #752 Yeah, I missed that. Why are you biting your tongue about it? What's the point? I think I'd tell the GP, too, even if she would have some sort of opinion about the email ruse. Maybe it would help you somehow if she at least knew he was being dishonest. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Aug 28, 2019 at 10:09 PM #754 Yeah or you could book the appointment and pie him in the face. Ok, maybe assaulting him with a pie is a bad idea. You could have someone deliver a pizza with a mean message spelled out in M & Ms. Idk. Mail him a rotten fish? __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 29, 2019 at 01:26 AM #757 I have decided, because i live in a large town if the topic of psychologists come up i will just tell my story, sow a seed of doubt etc

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,725 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 29, 2019 at 01:28 AM #758 I would be tempted to tell your GP the truth, that he lied simply. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."