Ethical?

I have seen many therapists in my life. I have never had any of them suggest abuse from a particular person. Just abuse. My Psychologist that I have recently seen said my dad abused me and my therapist said my mom did. I have no memory of either. How would you feel about this?

Be very careful about being fed memories that aren't yours. There are some therapists who very much believe that all mental illness is from repressed child abuse. I can't judge whether you have or have not been abused. They should be encouraging you to trust yourself and trust your own memories. Hunting around for "repressed memories" can have terrible consequences. Go with your gut, what you know from your own experiences with the people being fingered, and be cautious about being fed something that doesn't seem right.

NOT ethical

Must be careful of a therapist instilling false memories

If you feel it is not right, then it most likely isn't. And I would definitely call this therapist out for trying to insinuate such things with zero evidence

That doesn't sound right to me. My therapist seems more keen on me re-framing abuse to something else, then helping me find abuse where I have no memory of it.

Dnester…. if I told you my treatment provider said I was abused by someone can you tell me whether my treatment provider is being unethical....

of course not right you are not sitting in the room at my therapy sessions so you can not possibly know the situation that the conversation took place, nor do you know whether I was daydreaming or imagining, or misinterpreting something she said, you didn't witness the session. so there is absolutely no way you can say to me whether my own treatment provider is doing things right or wrong with me or telling me things that they shouldn't. you also don't know what my parts have told my therapist nor my alters before I was integrated.. so again you couldn't possibly tell me whether my own treatment provider is doing something right. or wrong, you also don't know what I have chosen to omit from posting. frankly no one posts 100% of their stories or sessions, if they did they most likely wouldn't be in therapy with a disorder that one of the diagnostics is memory problems.

my point is dnester is that no one but you can say whether your treatment providers are doing things wrong.

and if you feel your treatment providers are doing things wrong you can call your state board of clinical social workers. all states have them they are the people that therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists have to answer to on how to do things and the state board punishes the treatment providers who do break the rules and are unethical.

a treatment provider saying something like this is a very serious thing, and the state board takes it very seriously. if you really believe your treatment provider is saying you were sexually abused when you were not contact the state board. they will investigate (like a court hearing) this treatment provider will have to go to a court hearing and prove what she is saying or be punished.

I am saying I have been suspected by many therapists of having been sexually abused. Lots have told me that but none of them have said any particular person until now and I have no memories to prove that. Or any other evidence. I would never report them for that. I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's life lime that.

If a therapist has done something serious worth reporting.... you are NOT ruining their life . People are responsible for their own actions. If a therapist has caused serious harm in which a report Is justified ... said therapist has ruined their own life.

let me show you something.

pretend you are in a store and you see someone acting strangely like they may have put something in their pocket, you have no proof, you didn't see it happen and you don't have any real evidence to go on but you still walk up to an store employee and say "that person stole something" this is called making a false allegation of a crime.

now pretend you are in a store and you see someone acting like they have something in their pocket. you did not witness their taking anything just see them acting strangely. you walk up to a store employee and say "I suspect that person stole something because they are acting strangely." this is nor making a false accusation because you didn't accuse anyone you are just thinking based on their behavior that something may not be right.

your first post in this thread is saying the therapist was making a false allegation from your post...….

"My Psychologist that I have recently seen said my dad abused me and my therapist said my mom did. I have no memory of either."

Now you are saying something different. you are saying they are not saying you were sexually abused they just suspect it. from your post...…….

a therapist "suspecting" abuse based on your behavior is not a crime against ethics.

in the first post you stated they said you were abused by your mother and you don't remember it. thats making an accusation of abuse.

now you are saying they suspect abuse which is not making an accusation.

theres a difference. think of it like if you are in a store and you see someone acting strange and you go to a store employee and say to them that persons tole something when you have no proof you are making an accusation. but if you see someone acting strangely and you go to the store employee and say I suspect they may have stole something because they are acting strangely this is not accusing someone.

in your first post you stated the therapist was making an accusation and now you are saying they are suspecting.

many of your posts say you have sexual issues this is normal for a treatment provider to "suspect" that maybe abuse happened. suspect just means its something they are going to watch for, keep an eye on and either rule it in or rule it out as actual happenings. the therapist may have to contact hospitals to see if you were seen for some special sexual issues, and genital issues as a child that happens when children are abused in this way by adults. what kinds of infections you were treated for, what kinds of meds you were on as a child. they may now that its documented that they suspect abuse talk with who ever is in control of making your mental and physical health decisions since you are in a group home,

in other words suspecting means more investigations have to be done when someone is in a group home and they "suspect" abuse is or has happened. why because abuse of a special needs person like one in a group home is a very serious thing. they need to find out if its fact or what. and if it happened there may be legal issues on those who committed the abuse against you.

right now all they know is that you have these sexualized urges that they are very concerned about and need to make sure where they are coming from and why, make sure you are not in danger and make sure others are not inb danger.

I never forgot my sexual abuse and there is corroborating medical evidence that I was a abused at a young age. I told my therapist about the abuse. She obtained medical evidence. The abuse permanently injured me and even at 58 I am still effected. I am skeptical of therapists suggesting sexual abuse with no evidence.

All of my previous therapist have suggested that I was abused. The Psychologist I see now said point blank you're father sexually abused you with me having no memory of such not I suspect he did but he did. My therapist that I see now said I think you might not be ready to hear this but I think your mom sexually abused you. My question was really about why it would even be ethical to say who you suspect or right out tell some one something happened for sure. I personally would do neither as a therapist but I wanted to know if anyone else had this experience. What I was saying about my previous therapists is they suspected abuse but never mentioned who might of been the perpetrator. My psychologist flat out said your father sexually abused you. I have no memory of that but only things that have happened that might hint towards it. So how can she say she knows without the actual memory from me that any sexual abuse ever took place with my father. She can't. My therapist said I think your mom sexually abused you. Not quite as bad as saying your mother sexually abused you because saying I think is the same as saying I suspect. Either way I dont think its appropriate. My therapist has since apologised saying she shouldn't have said that when I called her out on it. She still tells me " You know what I think." whenever I ask about why I have or had a particular behavior or thought pattern.

Im sorry dnester Im getting confused.

fist you tell us you want us to tell you whether your treatment provider did something wrong by telling you that you were abused

then you tell us they just suspected the abuse not said it was a fact.

now you don't want to know whether they did something wrong just whether we experienced treatment providers naming our abusers to us.

the answer is yes. my treatment providers did name my abusers to me. they did so because that's their job to assess whether or not I was abused, document my reactions when we talked about being abused by various people. especially since I had an alter that sometimes acted out in sexual ways, they didn't have thoughts and urges like yours but they were still very graphic and sexual in nature. so of course conversations with my therapists over the years included assessment questions about being abused by so and so and so and so.

the bottom line is you have posted that you have a sexual alter who has some very graphic thoughts and urges. so of course any good therapist is going to have conversations with you about those in your life in order to document things and either rule in or out the abuse.

heres a thought. many times when these type of conflicts for you come up where you are questioning your treatment providers, later you have always posted that you mis understood what they were saying.

my suggestion is to take this problem to your treatment provider, ask them why they are saying your parents abused you, tell them how you are questioning whether they are being ethical or not, and if you still feel they are being unethical after they clarify for you what went on in your sessions you can report them if you want to..

there is nothing that we can do about this situation and yes I have had discussions about my parents and sexual abuse. I was talked to about this with my treatment providers, and also in court when prosecuting my abusers.

I dont understand where you are getting that? I said my Psychologist point blank said your father sexually abused you as a child just because he has done some innappropriate things now but he does those to everyone. My therapist said I think your mom sexually abused you. So one right out saying I was and one saying she suspects I have never had any therapists before these two mention names of a suspected person or a right out yeah they did this based on no evidence ( no memories from me, no police report, no nothing.)