What's wrong with my therapist?

Going ~ That is an excellent idea !! I am on hold now with Medicare to see if they cover Day Hospital for functioning adults. I know none of the hospitals here in my area are taking Partial Hospitalization thru Medicare, so maybe if I approach things with the term "Day Hospital", that will open more doors. Thanks for the great suggestion, as this is what I need and have needed for awhile

Birdie

I would not be able to handle a therapist taking notes by hand/ via computer while I’m speaking. Firstly, it’s rude. Patients deserve their therapist’s full attention and that includes eye-to-eye contact. Secondly, if a therapist is incapable of remembering what I have to say then they are worthless to me. Thirdly, who in the hell asks a patient “why” they want to be depressed? I’m sorry, but this woman’s approach/ behavior raises a lot of red flags that shouldn’t be overlooked.
Best of luck.

Hello Finders ~ I concur with being asked if I liked being depressed and what would I feel if I were not depressed, being very inappropriate. I have no idea what point she was trying to make.


A thought just occurred to me... it verges along the line of "gas lighting" or "crazy making". My family used to gas light me while growing up and this comment makes me start to become aware this therapist may be a bully and out to cause harm to make that statement. She really is in a powerful position right now with me, but next time I visit with her, I will be ready and I'll have a list of questions to keep her busy answering. If she refuses to answer then that will be my last visit with her. I have never in all the years of my life been asked a question such as that. Sort of like "you grew up being told you had brown hair, yet you really had blond hair, now how would that make you feel?" My former spouse used to challenge my sense of perspective or perception of reality, being all wrong. I remember how that felt, and I felt that same sense of helplessness when she said that to me.


Yes, definitely red flags, lots of them. I will not be blindsided again by her.


Birdie

Be really careful she doesn't use prolonged exposure therapy on you if she is taking this stance, and has a military background.

Her first job is to create a safe space/ good alliance with you . Sorry, that sessions sounds awkward!

That would drive me crazy! It would not work for me at all.
and, i want her job. I want to get paid thousands to sit there all day and stare at a computer. 😜

You are very welcome! I thought of it because I have met many people that have found it to be very helpful. Some even enjoyed Day Tx because of the interactions with other clients. Once you are there, you may even be able to get a psychiatrist to prescribe meds to you.

I really hope that you can get into a program. Good luck with that. Let us know how it goes!

LOL, Starry_Night. She's new, and there's a constant revolving door at this practice, so she may not last.

You are funny !!!


Birdy

Hi Salinger ~ Could you explain why I need to be careful about PE therapy? I have never head of this. And she does have a military background.


One thing that does stand out, and maybe this is part of what you are conveying to me. She asked me to read the first chapter in a Mindfulness Book. I had already perused thru it and found it triggering and I said so. I told her I was afraid to do the exercises because it might trigger me and being home alone that would not be a good thing and I was not prepared to go this quickly thru without her being there with me. She didn't care, she said my job for the next week was to read the chapter that I objected to.


Birdie

Sigh... well, I called Medicare and they do not cover Day Hospital, only Partial Hospital which is what the hospitals in my area won't cover. So, back to square one. Thank you though for thinking of this !!

I am always a lady in waiting... for this and that.


Birdie

You know Hummingbird, if I had met a therapist like that, I would feel like I entered the Twilight Zone.

That is kind of weird. It wouldn't work for me either...in fact I wouldn't likely have gone to a second session, much less a third. You need to have a good fit between the two of you. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't just find someone else. However, for me I find it very empowering to be able to tell therapists directly what does and doesn't work for me. Sometimes I tell them face to face, but usually only if I want to salvage the relationship. In this case I would probably call and tell her on the phone call why you want to cancel your session with her and why you are quitting, that way you don't get charged for another session.

You know Partial Hospitalization is the same as Day Treatment. In fact, in my area (Oahu) they use the two terms interchangeably. So, please don't give up on this. I think there might be just a confusion on the terms.

Thank you Going ~ I think you are correct about the terminology. I called and spoke to the higher-ups as Medicare shows the hospitals are still in network and have an active contract, so they are supposed to admit me for day hospital partial hospitalization. The hospital said they will contact Medicare about putting their Contract on hold for now. I did call back to Medicare and Medicare said they cannot put any Contract on hold, so Medicare is looking into this and I'm to call back on Monday to find out what is what. I can be persistent and I do really need this now.


Birdie

Dear Going ~ I got a hoot over your comment about the Twilight Zone. Indeed, indeed !! Thank you for bringing some levity to this situation.


When I first sat down in her office on Monday, the first thing I noticed was how she placed her hands on her desk between us. Her nails.... being very red, but they were sharp, very sharp points on the ends, not rounded. Nothing pretty to look at as she stretched her fingers towards me.I'm sure she noticed my noticing her hands. She also wore very pointy shoes, meaning the toe portion of her shoe came into a severe point. My first appointment she wore very attractive clothing, but I'm sure her heels were dyed to match her dress. That day she had black nail polish and dark blue lipstick. If she dyes her hair to match what she is wearing next week, I won't go in with her, I'll have to walk away.


Next week when I go back and enter her room of doom, I will remember your comment about entering The Twilight Zone, LOL.


Birdie

It occurred to me last evening, when thinking about what else is missing with this therapist. She never says my name at all. Mentioning my name is bridging the gap between two people, I believe and is an important part of any conversation. When I get up to leave, I have a tendency to shake the hand of either a doctor or therapist in appreciation for their service. This therapist puts her hand behind her back. Then she closes the door immediately on my heels and I am left alone to wander the hallways to find my own way out.


When she came out the door to greet me on Monday, which she is as tall as the door, she scanned the room and apparently didn't recognize me and walked back inside. I had to get up to tell the receptionist that I was there. When she came back out, I got up and walked towards her and she didn't recognize me until I told her my name. She let me in first and as I was walking down the hallway (there are many hallways in this practice) she got annoyed with me that I turned the wrong way. I heard her utterance in a hissing manner. Next week, I will let her go first. She also mentioned that the rollator I use for balance is now called "the monster in the room" or "that thing" that barely fits. I didn't appreciate that. I guess she doesn't like me bringing my rollator into the room. Now, the psych doc I am currently seeing at another practice, won't let me wheel my rollator into his room either, so what's up with that?

I have a list of questions for her next week, so I will not be talking about myself, I want to know about her, her style of therapy, if she does EMDR and how she helped the PTSD survivors coming back from overseas and other trauma survivors. I want her to set up a plan for me with goals, etc. I need structure to my session with her and I need to know what to expect from her. I want to know what she can do for me. Even though I am looking for another therapist, I do want her to understand that I am in control of the sessions and I will not tolerate her gas lighting. I will address her comment that "I enjoy my depression and what would it be like to live without depression" and how inappropriate that comment was. At this point, I don't care if she doesn't like the session with me or dismisses me, I want her to understand that my needs are not being met so far and what my expectations with a therapist are going forward. Then I will take that odd picture and turn it around so I don't have to look at it.


Birdie

Sorry but I had to laugh at the description! She seems like an evil movie character :-) you could go there to observe her, like a curious sociologist :-) now I can't wait for your update, mainly if she changes her hair colour :-)

Birdie, these things sound terribly unprofessional! I'm shocked. I wouldn't go back to her.

Seeker ~ Yes ! She reminds me of Cruella De Vill on 101 Dalmatians produced by Disney.


Birdie

Hi Seeker ~ I am not going back. Thru your support and other members here , I have decided not to go back. So, continuing with my search. I will go back to that practice to try out one of their psychiatrists that a number of people in my building go to and speak highly of her. In the wings I will keep my former psych doc just in case the new psych doesn't work out.


Cruella De Vill, I will never let you get to me again, HA !!


Birdie

Just in. On the heels of making a decision to not go back, I got a phone call from a therapist I found on Psychology Today and made an appointment for next Thursday. I asked her if she had experience with trauma patients and she said yes, she did.


BTW, her picture looks like a normal person.

I will see the new psych doc the day after in Cruella's office setting. Hoping I don't run into her, but I doubt she will recognize me. In a way, I do hope to get a glimpse of her to see what she looks like, LOL. I have to say, the ratings of her on Yelp are true to form.


Birdie