New t

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 01:41 PM

I hate her!
She was very small and wore the most ridiculous clothes. She also was extremely overweight. I am not exactly skinny myself but I think if you are a t self care is very important.
She also left the door open. I know there was nobody else in the building but it was my first session and it didn’t feel safe.
She also spoke about her qualifications a lot and said well I don’t need to see you till next month. I was like, wtf? I can’t go from seeing old t every week for 5 years to seeing this horrible t once a month. I took a real dislike to her and wanted to punch her in the nose!

nottrustin · Aug 21, 2019 at 01:45 PM

Ouch. Sorry it went so horribly.

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Ouch. Sorry it went so horribly.

Thanks,
Maybe I am just overreacting but I haven’t had such a strong reaction to a therapist before!
I don’t like her- she looked like a gnome!

SlumberKitty · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:02 PM

I think gut instinct is important. Maybe shop around for another T. HUGS Kit

comrademoomoo · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:09 PM

Do you really care about her weight? I am asking because I can't imagine caring what size my therapist is. In the greater scheme of things, it's a matter of inches. Does a 30 inch waist make a woman a better therapist? It's mind-boggling to me.

I Like Giants: YouTube

Lonelyinmyheart · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:27 PM

Definitely not the right T for you then! Trust your reaction and look elsewhere.

I have to say I wouldn't like the door being left open either. One time someone burst in during one of my sessions with an ex T and it took me a long time to get over it!

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Do you really care about her weight? I am asking because I can't imagine caring what size my therapist is. In the greater scheme of things, it's a matter of inches. Does a 30 inch waist make a woman a better therapist? It's mind-boggling to me.

I Like Giants: YouTube

As someone who has struggled with eating disorders all my life, yes! I would want to talk about binging and purging and being around her knowing she is binging and not purging would trigger me! Sorry I am not meaning to be judgemental- it’s just how I feel.

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Definitely not the right T for you then! Trust your reaction and look elsewhere.

I have to say I wouldn't like the door being left open either. One time someone burst in during one of my sessions with an ex T and it took me a long time to get over it!

That happened to me twice before with ex t and it took ages to trust it wouldn’t happen again.
Sorry it happened to you too, it’s very frightening because therapy is supposed to be safe.

comrademoomoo · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

As someone who has struggled with eating disorders all my life, yes! I would want to talk about binging and purging and being around her knowing she is binging and not purging would trigger me! Sorry I am not meaning to be judgemental- it’s just how I feel.

Not all fat women are binging, not all fat women consider themselves to have an eating disorder. What about a fat therapist who is happy with her weight, who accepts all bodies? Being triggered by fat women sounds like internalised misogyny.

coolibrarian · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:25 PM

Diabetes can cause weight gain. Having to take steroids (for instance, for autoimmune/inflammatory disorders) can cause weight gain. Thyroid problems can cause weight gain. Just because she's fat doesn't mean she's not practicing self-care.

On the other hand, she sounds awful. Can you look for someone else?

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:31 PM

Yes lots of things cause weight gain, I myself have an under active thyroid but I don’t blame it for my recent weight gain. Even if she was skinny I wouldn’t like this t- weight aside, she was terrible.
My doctor recommended her because I have ptsd and thought she would be a good match but I couldn’t work with a t that didn’t see the need for me to have more support than once a month!

Flinders40 · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

As someone who has struggled with eating disorders all my life, yes! I would want to talk about binging and purging and being around her knowing she is binging and not purging would trigger me! Sorry I am not meaning to be judgemental- it’s just how I feel.

I have also struggled with eating disorders. How do you know she is binging and not purging? You’re basing that assumption solely on her weight? If you don’t like her for other reasons (leaving the door open) or just not clicking that’s reason enough to keep searching for the right fit, but don’t judge based on her physical appearance. I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone doing that to you.

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:38 PM

No I wouldn’t want it but it’s what we all do, we judge people based on looks, intelligence, weight, appearance, in the first five seconds we meet someone at least one judgement based on their appearance comes into our heads. It’s not just me we all do it!
This seems to be triggering a lot of people

ArtleyWilkins · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:40 PM

Trust your gut. Don't waste another dime on this one. I've walked aways from several therapists and doctors over the years that I just had that negative gut feeling about from the moment I laid eyes on them. Life is to short to waste money on a bad fit.

coolibrarian · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:41 PM

We DON'T ALL do it! Some of us, when we became aware (or someone told us) that we WERE doing it, we stopped doing it!

weaverbeaver · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Trust your gut. Don't waste another dime on this one. I've walked aways from several therapists and doctors over the years that I just had that negative gut feeling about from the moment I laid eyes on them. Life is to short to waste money on a bad fit.

You are right. I am glad you trusted your gut and got away so quickly.
It’s a pity we don’t listen to our guts more often. I didn’t like her on the phone and I should have trusted that.
She asked me who my last t was and I think that was when my gut screamed noooo, you can’t work with her!

ArtleyWilkins · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:44 PM

In all fairness, appearance was only of several problems with this therapist piled on top of each other, not the only issue.

One issue almost all of us can work around, but multiple issues all coming to our attention in the very first encounter is a time when a person needs to go with their instinct and move on.

comrademoomoo · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

No I wouldn’t want it but it’s what we all do, we judge people based on looks, intelligence, weight, appearance, in the first five seconds we meet someone at least one judgement based on their appearance comes into our heads. It’s not just me we all do it!
This seems to be triggering a lot of people

I am not triggered by your comments, I am disagreeing with your assumptions and outlook. I don't judge women based on their weight, but you are right - I am likely to judge a woman on other physical factors such as wearing make-up, wearing high heels, etc. I suppose this feels different to me because I am not judging her for her weight, height, bodily presence - I am judging her for the patriarchal crap she is buying into. Ouch, that's harsh. I mean, I get it too, some women don't have the choice or confidence to opt out of that crap, but I still judge them. Urgh to me.

unaluna · Aug 21, 2019 at 05:50 PM

Im sure theres good people on both sides

weaverbeaver · Aug 22, 2019 at 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I am not triggered by your comments, I am disagreeing with your assumptions and outlook. I don't judge women based on their weight, but you are right - I am likely to judge a woman on other physical factors such as wearing make-up, wearing high heels, etc. I suppose this feels different to me because I am not judging her for her weight, height, bodily presence - I am judging her for the patriarchal crap she is buying into. Ouch, that's harsh. I mean, I get it too, some women don't have the choice or confidence to opt out of that crap, but I still judge them. Urgh to me.

Sorry for assuming I was triggering you and others. I was just surprised by how people picked up on the fact that I was triggered by her weight( amongst other things) as Artywilkins said.
I think it’s rather naive to think that we don’t judge others- it’s a human condition and it’s not out of malice it just comes natural. We go to a pound tiger a rescue and judge whether that dog is suitable based on the two minutes we see them.
It’s my prerogative to judge a t based on the hour that I paid them for on whether I think they can help me and I need help Edith my own impulsive eating and if I see someone who has no control over her eating I really don’t think they can help me- also based on other factors too. Judge me all you want and I don’t mean you but other posters, but I am entitled to speak my truth!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

New t

My Support Forums

nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 01:45 PM #2 Ouch. Sorry it went so horribly. __________________
	Reply With Quote

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 02:02 PM #4 I think gut instinct is important. Maybe shop around for another T. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
	Reply With Quote

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Aug 21, 2019 at 02:09 PM #5 Do you really care about her weight? I am asking because I can't imagine caring what size my therapist is. In the greater scheme of things, it's a matter of inches. Does a 30 inch waist make a woman a better therapist? It's mind-boggling to me. I Like Giants: YouTube
	Reply With Quote

Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 02:27 PM #6 Definitely not the right T for you then! Trust your reaction and look elsewhere. I have to say I wouldn't like the door being left open either. One time someone burst in during one of my sessions with an ex T and it took me a long time to get over it!
	Reply With Quote

weaverbeaver Veteran Member Member Since May 2018 Location: Another planet Posts: 514 5 2 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 03:38 PM #13 No I wouldn’t want it but it’s what we all do, we judge people based on looks, intelligence, weight, appearance, in the first five seconds we meet someone at least one judgement based on their appearance comes into our heads. It’s not just me we all do it! This seems to be triggering a lot of people
	Reply With Quote

ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 03:40 PM #14 Trust your gut. Don't waste another dime on this one. I've walked aways from several therapists and doctors over the years that I just had that negative gut feeling about from the moment I laid eyes on them. Life is to short to waste money on a bad fit.
	Reply With Quote

coolibrarian Poohbah Member Since Feb 2014 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,302 10 1,041 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 03:41 PM #15 We DON'T ALL do it! Some of us, when we became aware (or someone told us) that we WERE doing it, we stopped doing it! __________________ In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ;
	Reply With Quote

ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 03:44 PM #17 In all fairness, appearance was only of several problems with this therapist piled on top of each other, not the only issue. One issue almost all of us can work around, but multiple issues all coming to our attention in the very first encounter is a time when a person needs to go with their instinct and move on.
	Reply With Quote

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,834 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 05:50 PM #19 Im sure theres good people on both sides
	Reply With Quote