Counsellor perhaps married during summer?

I see a temporary counsellor during my wait for getting access to therapy, I´ve now seen her since November. Today, first session after the summer break, I noticed she wore rings on her left ring finger.

It wasn´t typical wedding bands, like two gold rings or similar, but more of one with some kind of stone and one plain ring. I saw it almost immediately she sat down. I don´t see her for therapy, but for check-ups and general chats just to have someone to meet with during my wait.

By that this is no "real" therapy issue as we mostly small talk and I briefly mention how I´m feeling and I´m not seeing this as some kind of problem, more of a curiosity to know.

I read some people wear rings after getting them from like a grandmother as a memory and that person used the rings as wedding bands. It could also be she has enlarged her rings and finally now wears them.

She though speaks in terms of my daughters and my dogs when she mentions them to me and she did that when I saw her recently as well. By that I´ve always imagined her being single/divorced with adult children living on their own.

I could easily find out if she actually got married or not but as I like her and I value her I don´t want to snoop. I think that if I want to know something about a counselor I also need to dare asking them but I feel this is beyond boundaries as marriage is a really private matter.

What do you think about this? Have you had counsellors/therapists who wore rings like this without being married?

Why not say something as simple as, "What pretty rings? I've never noticed them before." If she wants to share, I suspect she will. If she doesn't want to share, she won't and you'll know not to further pry. That's pretty normal conversation between people.

My stepmother has an engagement ring with stones and a plain wedding band that she wears next to each other on the same finger. I don't remember my mother wearing her engagement ring, though if it's the one I think it was, it too had a stone - and her wedding band did not.


My parents (father and stepmother) both talk about "my" children/house/whatever unless they are involved in a conversation as a couple. I don't remember if this is different from how my father and mother spoke of us when they were married, but it would surprise me. And yes - my stepmother (who came into my life when I was a teenager and to whom I am not particularly close, though closer than my mother, with whom I am estranged) does refer to me as "my" child/whatever.

Like Artley, I'd simply comment on the rings and see what was said. It would not be rude to notice them. I did so with my T recently - I commented that she was wearing new shoes, and that they were heels rather than the flats she usually wears. She was happy to talk about them briefly - when she got them, how comfy they are, and yes not her typical style. (I would be much less likely to notice if she got a hair cut, but that's a different matter entirely)

Quite the opposite. My ex-Pdoc didn't wear a wedding ring or an engagement ring. I didn't find out that she was married until she was pregnant. Then I snooped around and found out that she was married and pregnant with her 3rd child.

Rings/no rings can mean anything.

I knew the relationship status for both Ts. T was single and wore rings on both hands but the didnt look like Wedding/ engagement rings.

Emdr T is married and wears a typical wedding set.

As far as the my/our children termanology goes. Welhen talking to other people and my husband is not there I say "my kids". If my husband is there I say our.

Do you think you could ask, in a way that respects her privacy and right not to answer, or just mention that you noticed the rings? For instance, "I noticed the beautiful rings you are wearing since the summer? Is there a story behind them that you wouldn't mind sharing with me?" Or something similar.

I appreciate the respect and liking you have for her and not wanting to snoop behind her back.