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Old 09-11-2019, 01:05 PM   #571
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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I called my insurance and got a list of MD's and PDOC's that are currently accepting new patients and who specialize in depression. I'm just not sure if I should call yet, or wait to see if the business is going to be sold, or if it is if they are going to get a new PDOC. On the other hand, I don't want to be without a PDOC. This is all very stressful.
Personally I think it would be best to get the ball rolling as soon as you can rather than waiting especially as you've been struggling so much already.
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Old 09-11-2019, 01:11 PM   #572
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

This is stressful. I don't like it.
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Old 09-11-2019, 01:13 PM   #573
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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How does he see me? I feel a bit like a bug under a magnifying glass. Also, surely I'm not the only reason he's reading this book. He's indicated before and outright said recently that I have more trauma than any of the other clients he's ever seen. I have a really, really hard time believing that. In 12 years? Seriously? I keep meaning to ask him about that statement, but it feels like a really uncomfortable thing to bring up on my own.

Your more than just being a trauma case.
Could you email him saying what you've typed here.
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Old 09-11-2019, 01:38 PM   #574
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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How does he see me? I feel a bit like a bug under a magnifying glass. Also, surely I'm not the only reason he's reading this book. He's indicated before and outright said recently that I have more trauma than any of the other clients he's ever seen. I have a really, really hard time believing that. In 12 years? Seriously? I keep meaning to ask him about that statement, but it feels like a really uncomfortable thing to bring up on my own.
Well, somebody likely has to have that dubious honor. And why not you?

I don't find it hard to believe he might have chosen a book hoping it would help him help you. C's longtime therapist went and got trained in neurofeedback, invested in the whole setup with computers and everything, hoping to help her (because C just couldn't seem to tolerate any sort of talking about trauma). I do think they sometimes do that. Is it just for you? Well, it might be yes and no. C's longtime therapist always said she had learned so much about how to help other people from working with her. So you might be his primary concern when he undertakes something like reading a book, but I expect he hopes that the knowledge he gains will be something he can add to what he can offer other figurative people who might end up needing it, too.
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Old 09-11-2019, 01:55 PM   #575
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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Your more than just being a trauma case.
Could you email him saying what you've typed here.
Well, I'm seeing him 4 times this week because trauma, I guess. Maybe I'll bring this up today. I really wonder what his other clients come to see him about when he says stuff like this. I wasn't abused as a child, other than one instance of SA by a neighbor that was mostly my fault. He thinks my parents didn't provide what I needed emotionally, which he calls non-recognition trauma. My parents were doing the best they could.
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Old 09-11-2019, 02:03 PM   #576
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Well, I'm seeing him 4 times this week because trauma, I guess. Maybe I'll bring this up today. I really wonder what his other clients come to see him about when he says stuff like this. I wasn't abused as a child, other than one instance of SA by a neighbor that was mostly my fault. He thinks my parents didn't provide what I needed emotionally, which he calls non-recognition trauma. My parents were doing the best they could.

It is difficult when T's compare you to other clients. Like ex-DrT saying how I think about therapy more than any of his other clients. How I use email differently than any of them. How I was the first (in >15 years) to request a transitional object. It made me feel like a weirdo. So I get it. I imagine your T is trying to be validating, to let you know he understands how much you're going through. But I also see how it could feel judgmental or like you're this special case. I'd talk to him about it.
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Old 09-11-2019, 02:08 PM   #577
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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Well, I'm seeing him 4 times this week because trauma, I guess. Maybe I'll bring this up today. I really wonder what his other clients come to see him about when he says stuff like this. I wasn't abused as a child, other than one instance of SA by a neighbor that was mostly my fault. He thinks my parents didn't provide what I needed emotionally, which he calls non-recognition trauma. My parents were doing the best they could.


If you needed to see T 5 times a day or even twice a day it would still be okay.You need as much support as you need.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but SA as a child is NEVER your fault. A child has no real concept of consent and what they may be coerced into going along with. It doesn't just have to be violent in order to still be abuse.

Your parents may have done their best, but not having emotional needs met as a child would still be painful.
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Old 09-11-2019, 02:43 PM   #578
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Default Re: Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

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It is difficult when T's compare you to other clients. Like ex-DrT saying how I think about therapy more than any of his other clients. How I use email differently than any of them. How I was the first (in >15 years) to request a transitional object. It made me feel like a weirdo. So I get it. I imagine your T is trying to be validating, to let you know he understands how much you're going through. But I also see how it could feel judgmental or like you're this special case. I'd talk to him about it.
I don't feel any ill feelings about him saying that, I just don't believe him. Although, I don't know why he would lie about it either. One thing he said recently made me think though. He said I've not had anyone recognize the things that were going on (speaking about my relationship) even me. I wonder if what he's defining as trauma is just, to me, stuff that happened that hurt. For example,
Possible trigger:
I guess I always viewed that incident as kind of "well, that happened". I didn't really process it. I remember being angry about it and the next day smashed the offending object on the sidewalk enough to bend the pointy end making it unusable and the new house rule was objects of this class were no longer allowed in the house. But really, that was quite scary. I'm pretty sure my therapist counts that as trauma. I'm not sure that I would have called it that before talking with him about it.
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Old 09-11-2019, 04:11 PM   #579
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T is going into semi-retirement. He hinted that I was one of the deciding factors between semi-retirement and full retirement.
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Old 09-11-2019, 04:27 PM   #580
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@NP_Complete - One of my favourite quotes from Peter Levine, who developed Somatic Experiencing therapy goes like this: 'Trauma is not an event. It is what we hold inside in the absence of a compassionate witness.' I'm not sure I go as far as saying it's not an event, because it always starts with something.
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