Anxiety

My T is getting married in November. I am beginning to feel anxious about the future and have been worried that he will be different like more preoccupied than he is now. I’m not sure why I’m feeling anxious about this.

I thought about telling him this but I feel silly for feeling this way.

I think the anxiety is also compounded by the fact that I won’t have therapy for 3 weeks during November.

Yeah, I know this is kind of stupid.

Nevermind, this is silly and embarrassing. Sorry to waste your time.

I can understand and relate to that feeling of having wasted people's time, or of being "in the wrong", or of being insignificant or unworthy. It looks like that feeing is getting triggered in you because no-one else has responded yet. I hope you can recognize that triggered feeling and realize it relates to a whole lot of old hurts, and not the current situation unfolding here in your thread. The most likely reason you haven't received a response yet is because of the timing... many posters in the US are in bed and fast asleep. Many posters in other parts of the world are at work or busy with their day. None of that means that you are insignificant or your feelings are insignificant. And none of it means you are not worthy of being replied to. I honestly think it's just a matter of timing.
I can see you getting triggered here in your posts... as time goes on you react even more strongly to that feeling of ___________ (whatever feeling is triggered in you from instances of "not being seen" or valued or heard.) Even though that feeling has been triggered right now (likely because of many, many instances in the past where you were not seen or heard or validated) that isn't the case here, and I hope you can remind yourself of that. There will be replies later. Its just that people are sleeping or busy right now. It isn't because you don't matter.

For what its worth, I think your anxiety about the changing circumstances for your T is fairly valid. Not in the sense that I think things will necessarily change, but in the sense that the therapeutic relationship is very important to you so it is natural to fear anything that could potentially threaten it. I bet others here can relate to your feeling about that.

BUt, more importantly, I hope you can calm down your triggered response to the lack of replies to your thread so far. it isn't a measure of your worthy or the validity of your fears, but most likely a matter of timing.

Hopealwayz, it’s understandable that you would be a little anxious to see your therapist less in November.

I’m also exhausted. I’ve spent the ENTIRE day helping my brother and it’s really tough trying to help my brother when I’m struggling so much.

Sorry I accidentally reposted an above post by accident.

I emailed it to him so he knows how I feel.

But I think ultimately I am insignificant. Sorry everyone.

It's not stupid. I would feel EXACTLY like this. To be honest I'm half in love with my T so if she got married I think I'd be devastated. But yes, I would have very similar concerns about T not having the same amount of time/energy to focus on me. Please try not to feel bad about this. I hope your T will be empathic towards your fears if you're able to share them.

It is definitely hard. I’m very sad today.

I definitely expect a certain level of distraction. I’m not sure for how long.

I’m trying not to cry this morning.

There aren't many people on at the time you posted this so try not to get upset if you dont get responses right away in the middle of the night

I felt the same way when my therapists spouse had their child. I worried he would take paternal leave but he actually didnt take any leave . I also worried he would change with the birth of his first child

I feel like he actually has changed but in a way that he is more empathetic now

He seemed okay the last time I saw him.

They’ve been dating since the end of 2013 and they have been engaged for a year and he’s has actually gotten warmer and less clinical than he used to be. He listened to the things that were stressing me so he is really good in that way.

My schedule is about to become wacky right at the time of year that is the most difficult for me.

You are not insignificant or wasting out time. As somebody said the time of your posts just made it so many didn't see them. For me they were all posted between 12:30 am and 8 am...I was thankfully asleep.

I dont think your fears are silly or you should be embarrassed. I would feel exactly the same way. For those of us with abandonment issues any changes an be very worrisome.

When T moved out of state she repeatedly said she fully intended to travel here and continue working with her clients. I still panicked and feared the almost 2 hour ride each way would be ro much and she would retire. That is why I sought out EMDR T. I thought I could quickly deal with the trauma and be done so when T retired I could also stop therapy.

It’s a relief to know that I’m not the only one who has dealt with these things because I feel like you all understand. I feel kind of overwhelmed.

One of my T’s got married while I was working with them and they moved to live with their new spouse. Had they not told me I wouldn’t have known. Hang in there!

Thanks!

One good thing is that he’s from another state and she’s from here so they plan on staying here.

I’m grateful for that!