Don’t know how to approach T

I had to make a huge decision about work and my careeer this week with very serious consequences. My T has been a big support in the lead up to this. When I made the decision and emailed my T though, she didn’t respond. She also didn’t respond to the email before that when I was really on the fence and struggling. She had also mentioned doing an extra session to help me but then couldn’t find time in her schedule and then dropped the idea. I’m scared I’m being unfair and expecting too much but I’m feeling really alone and abandoned. I know it’s ridiculous of me because it’s only been like two days and my T was so there for me before. But the feelings are so strong and I’m also dealing with huge fallout from my career decision. I don’t want to rock the boat with my T and don’t want to bring up anything negative about my feelings about her. I’m finding that I want to reach out to her and tell her I need something from her but I don’t know how to ask, don’t know what to say... I’m seeing her Saturday so I think I should just wait it out but... I’ve also been wanting to ask her something else that’s very important to me but haven’t been and now I’m suddenly finding that question almost bursting out of me but I’m trying not to let it because I don’t think it’s the best way to ask her. I just don’t know.

I don’t have any answers or suggestions for you goatee but I am feeling the same things just the why is different.

Tell her your real feelings. Rocking the boat is in therapy is, fine.

I would talk about feeling alone and abandoned. It's not fun. I've had those talks with my former T but she was always so good about it and glad that I told her so she could help me with it. At the same time, T's are human and they mess up and they aren't always there for us (with an extra session etc) when we need them to be. Or the cancel when we are having a crises. Etc. Both things can be true at the same time. We can need our T's and they can be human and not be available. HUGS Kit

So what you've described, goatee, is one of those times when I wonder if a T is purposely doing something to provoke a response having to do with something she believes you need to work on.

You're in therapy to become healthier. Part of that path toward more stable mental health is (as you know) telling your therapist exactly how you feel. I know how hard it is, but you can do it - and what a relief it will be, rather than letting the stuff churn inside of your mind.

I wonder if the full moon last week has had an affect on (some of) us this week...because I made a huge career decision this week, as well. Strangely, though, I did it as a spur of the moment type of thing, and I won't see T until next week, and even though I*could* send her a text or email about it, I feel (strangely) calm, not anxious at all.
In other news, it's my birthday tomorrow. ;-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolibrarian I wonder if the full moon last week has had an affect on (some of) us this week...because I made a huge career decision this week, as well. Strangely, though, I did it as a spur of the moment type of thing, and I won't see T until next week, and even though I*could* send her a text or email about it, I feel (strangely) calm, not anxious at all. In other news, it's my birthday tomorrow. ;-)

Happy early birthday! That full moon was in Pisces...an abundance of subconscious energy occurring. Kinda like a tendency to act out in real life what would usually be in a dream.

Happy birthday, cool!!! Hope you have a great day!

have you asked her to reply of call you. Yesterday, I had to do just that. T responded to my text with words of encouragement which was nice but not what I needed. So I texted her asking if she was available for a chat. As soon as her next couple of clients left, she called me

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. Those emotions can be extremely strong. I think you should talk about it as well. Get it off your chest.
Hugs!

You seem to know that asking her this question that is really important to you in an email and when you are already triggered from her unresponsiveness isn't a good idea, so don't do it. Sometimes it's tempting to do things like that which are likely to just escalate things further, so I get it, but I don't think it's a good idea and I would wait for your session on Saturday.