Something crazy this way comes....

Calla lily12 · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:03 AM

I think I'm being gaslighted by my therapist. I'm so scared and angry. I'm not sure what to do since I am inpatient at the moment.
All I know is that all of this makes me feel extremely suicidal.

Out There · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:09 AM

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Can you share what you feel is happening to have some objective input ?

SlumberKitty · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:18 AM

I'm sorry you are struggling. HUGS Kit

malika138 · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:18 AM

Is your T allowed to contact you while you are inpatient? During my inpatient stays I was not permitted contact with my T. I realize this isn't always feasible, but is there anyone at the inpatient facility that you feel like you could talk to about why maybe your T isn't contacting you? Sorry if I am misreading here...

Calla lily12 · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:19 AM

After seeing me outpatient since Nov. He said he is not my doctor. I don't know what he wants from me. He told me something totally different just last week.

malika138 · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:34 AM

oh, sorry to hear that. There was one hospitalization in which T was permitted to contact me, and it was during that visit that she terminated with me. But I didn't want to discourage you by mentioning that in my earlier post. It was devastating. Maybe I am not helping. It was challenging but I then found a better therapist. As part of your discharge, the facility should help you set up interviews with new, and potentially better, therapists. I did a lot of journaling during that time - or just angrily scribbling on a page.

Taylor27 · Sep 20, 2019 at 10:51 AM

Hugs im so sorry you are feeling this way

ArtleyWilkins · Sep 20, 2019 at 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

After seeing me outpatient since Nov. He said he is not my doctor. I don't know what he wants from me. He told me something totally different just last week.

If you are inpatient and trying to contact your outpatient therapist (is he a psychiatrist?), what he may be saying is you are under the care of whatever therapists and psychiatrists are treating you inpatient and he cannot involve himself currently in your treatment. They generally don't want to step on each others' toes.

here today · Sep 20, 2019 at 11:30 AM

From your recent posts, it sounds like you and the T had been having some difficulties anyway. So, it may be be best just to start fresh with some of the therapists, doctors, and other support people who you may find in the hospital? I understand it is extremely upsetting to feel gaslighted -- possibly abandoned, now, too? -- by your last T. But hopefully you will find some other people in the hospital you can relate to -- other patients, maybe also, as well as the staff.

Calla lily12 · Sep 20, 2019 at 07:58 PM

That's what I thought he was doing...terminating with me. My T also treats me in the hospital. He wants me to begin psychoanalysis with him 2 to 4 times a week, once I get out of here.

Calla lily12 · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:02 PM

The thing is, the intense psychoanalysis is really helping me. I don't want to give that up. If I see him as much as he reccomends, that will add up to $1800 a month! He assured me he wasn't terminating with me ,but he thinks it's necessary to meet more often.

Calla lily12 · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:04 PM

I came right out and asked him what he wanted from me. I.told him I felt pulled in different directions. He explained that he thinks it necessary to have psychoanalysis, but is also concerned about the money involved.

unaluna · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM

Why does he think you are made of money? Is there something wrong with his thinking?!

SlumberKitty · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:13 PM

Wow, $1800 a month is a lot. That’s a whole lot of money.

NP_Complete · Sep 20, 2019 at 09:12 PM

I go three times a week and am not spending near that much money per month. Is he willing to cut his fee to make that feasible for you?

susannahsays · Sep 20, 2019 at 09:32 PM

I would find another therapist. Psychoanalysis isn't the only option. Of course, an analyst will want you to have an analysis. But you don't know how long it will take and if it will actually resolve your issues in the long run. And $1,800/month is $21,600/year - plus, I've never heard of an analysis only taking one year. It sounds like this isn't a feasible option for you, so I would accept that and move on. Wishing for what can't be for a prolonged period and trying to make it happen anyway will only cost you more money.

ETA: Not to be harsh, but if the intense analysis is helping you so much, why are you inpatient? Is it really the best investment you could be making?

SlumberKitty · Sep 20, 2019 at 09:41 PM

Wow, $21,600...wow!

Calla lily12 · Sep 21, 2019 at 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I would find another therapist. Psychoanalysis isn't the only option. Of course, an analyst will want you to have an analysis. But you don't know how long it will take and if it will actually resolve your issues in the long run. And $1,800/month is $21,600/year - plus, I've never heard of an analysis only taking one year. It sounds like this isn't a feasible option for you, so I would accept that and move on. Wishing for what can't be for a prolonged period and trying to make it happen anyway will only cost you more money.

ETA: Not to be harsh, but if the intense analysis is helping you so much, why are you inpatient? Is it really the best investment you could be making?

Not harsh at all...It's a vaild question. Memories and pieces of memories are .sneaking back in and I'm unable to deal with them safely as an outpatient. He has given me a break in cost. He's lowered it to $275, but seeing him 3 times a week will break the bank. The reason I see him is that I have never found a therapist who can almost "see inside my head." He's top in his field. I was amazed when I first met him; how he can read people. I'm lucky to have him. I realise it sounds silly, but I've been to many therapists over many years, I've tried every medication, and ECT with little improvement . After seeing him for a short time, I noticed a greater understanding of why I am the way I am and the issues in my family. I'm not sure what I'll do, but I will find a way to afford him at least 2x a week.
Thank you all for your comments and caring.

susannahsays · Sep 21, 2019 at 12:20 PM

If you have become destabilized as a result of working with him, that is not a good thing. If he has somehow encouraged you to let down defenses that have previously kept these memories at bay, he should have prioritized providing you with the resources and coping skills you would need to deal with them first. It sounds more like he's been some sort of wrecking ball. Yeah, maybe tearing down your house gives you clarity to see the foundation, but now you're homeless. Not only that, but he has you convinced that he's the only builder in town that can help you rebuild.

Salmon77 · Sep 21, 2019 at 02:55 PM

$275/session sounds really high to me. He doesn't take insurance? Maybe you could ask him to come down to something you could afford? Have you cleared up the issue in the OP?

TBH I've read that psychoanalysis is not the best treatment for very acute cases, like someone who is actively suicidal or schizophrenic, because it is such a slow process. It might be better to wait and work towards being in a more stable place, and then get into analysis.

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Calla lily12 Grand Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: a place far away Posts: 830 5 979 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:03 AM #1 I think I'm being gaslighted by my therapist. I'm so scared and angry. I'm not sure what to do since I am inpatient at the moment. All I know is that all of this makes me feel extremely suicidal. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
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Out There Legendary Member Since Oct 2015 Location: England Posts: 11,355 (SuperPoster!) 8 14.6k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:09 AM #2 Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Can you share what you feel is happening to have some objective input ? __________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing "
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:18 AM #3 I'm sorry you are struggling. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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malika138 Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: home Posts: 287 7 623 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:18 AM #4 Is your T allowed to contact you while you are inpatient? During my inpatient stays I was not permitted contact with my T. I realize this isn't always feasible, but is there anyone at the inpatient facility that you feel like you could talk to about why maybe your T isn't contacting you? Sorry if I am misreading here...
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Calla lily12 Grand Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: a place far away Posts: 830 5 979 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:19 AM #5 After seeing me outpatient since Nov. He said he is not my doctor. I don't know what he wants from me. He told me something totally different just last week. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 10:51 AM #7 Hugs im so sorry you are feeling this way
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Calla lily12 Grand Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: a place far away Posts: 830 5 979 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 07:58 PM #10 That's what I thought he was doing...terminating with me. My T also treats me in the hospital. He wants me to begin psychoanalysis with him 2 to 4 times a week, once I get out of here. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
	Reply With Quote

Calla lily12 Grand Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: a place far away Posts: 830 5 979 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 08:02 PM #11 The thing is, the intense psychoanalysis is really helping me. I don't want to give that up. If I see him as much as he reccomends, that will add up to $1800 a month! He assured me he wasn't terminating with me ,but he thinks it's necessary to meet more often. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
	Reply With Quote

Calla lily12 Grand Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: a place far away Posts: 830 5 979 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 08:04 PM #12 I came right out and asked him what he wanted from me. I.told him I felt pulled in different directions. He explained that he thinks it necessary to have psychoanalysis, but is also concerned about the money involved. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
	Reply With Quote

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,867 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM #13 Why does he think you are made of money? Is there something wrong with his thinking?!
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 08:13 PM #14 Wow, $1800 a month is a lot. That’s a whole lot of money. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,808 7 6,352 hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 09:12 PM #15 I go three times a week and am not spending near that much money per month. Is he willing to cut his fee to make that feasible for you?
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 20, 2019 at 09:41 PM #17 Wow, $21,600...wow! __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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