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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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#21
Well this strategy is going to have the opposite effect that you're looking for, unless you're hoping it pushes you completely over the edge so that your inhibitions about suicide are removed. Otherwise, there is major cognitive dissonance between wanting to get better and doing this.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
SlumberKitty
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Anonymous45127, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#22
Quote:
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,149
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8 12.4k hugs
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#23
Quote:
Better seems like too big and amorphous a goal. Maybe break it down into smaller goals. I also think you need more support in general. Like weekly therapy, is that possible? |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty, susannahsays, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: home
Posts: 287
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#24
I like the 5 x 41 = the number of the couch reference
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SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: home
Posts: 287
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#25
And, SK, if the meds aren't working, then see the doc. Skipping meds isn't a way to stabilize moods. Maybe your doc can prescribe other meds if you don't like the ones you are on now. But I agree with others that skipping meds isn't the most direct route towards feeling better.
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SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#26
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Anonymous45127
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#27
Thanks for caring about me Couchies, even if that means calling me out on my behavior.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
nottrustin, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Anonymous45127, susannahsays
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
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#28
Maybe I should ask my parents to supervise my meds right now. It’s not a step away from being so dependent on my parents. In fact it’s probably a step in the backwards direction. But since I keep having these compulsions to stop my meds or mess with the dose, which seems logical to me at the time, maybe I need someone holding me accountable. FWIW, my former T told me not to mess with my meds last time I did this. Perhaps if I pictured her displeasure it would help me to take them.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
unaluna
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Anonymous45127
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,149
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8 12.4k hugs
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#29
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Lemoncake, SlumberKitty
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Anonymous45127, SlumberKitty, susannahsays
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Appalachian Mountains
Posts: 2,040
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#30
I'm so depressed, following my diet but now I've gained weight. Ridiculousness.
Had a meltdown today, screaming and crying violently because my computer and printer won't speak to each other wirelessly. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine to relax. __________________ "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
atisketatasket, chihirochild, malika138, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Anonymous45127
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#31
Hugs @MobiusPsyche technology problems suck. Hope you feel better tonight.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Anonymous45127, MobiusPsyche
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#32
I asked my parents to help me with my medications right now since I can’t trust myself not to give into the compulsion to skip or change the dose. Maybe that makes me lame, like I should be capable of doing this myself, but I’m not trusting myself to do so. IDK people always say there’s no shame in asking for help. Funny though, because I think I feel shame right now. I have to not beat myself up though because that won’t do any good, and my T says to me that I would never treat others the way I treat myself. Right now I just have to accept that I need help with this aspect of my life.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
atisketatasket, chihirochild, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anonymous45127, chihirochild, susannahsays, WarmFuzzySocks
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
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#33
Just heard on the news tomorrow is Batman day! That sounds fun. I’m sure I have Batman socks or something!
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#34
I don't think that makes you lame. It sounds like a responsible decision and I'm glad you were able to take that step to take care of yourself and help make sure you don't spiral. I hope you and your psychiatrist are able to come up with a plan in the near future that ends up helping.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
SlumberKitty
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Anonymous45127, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#35
I know you haven't really wanted to search for another therapist in the past, and maybe you still don't want to search for one now. But have you considered adding a therapist who would do a complementary therapy, like maybe art therapy or something? I don't know, just trying to think of ways that you might get more support. Have you considered looking into support groups in your area? I think NAMI offer support groups nationwide, although I have never been to one.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
Anonymous45127, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
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#36
I probably would like art therapy. I don’t know if there’s support groups by me. I know where I get therapy they have anger management, parenting, and substance abuse, but I haven’t seen any for depression. I will do some googling. Maybe my former T knows of something in her area....about an hour from me. Maybe the simplest thing would be to ask my T how I could get more support. She may have resources that I don’t know about. She works at a hospital about an hour and a half away but surely they would have referrals to resources. I’ve been trying to build up my IRL support through my Church members and stuff. So that way there’s people I can call in a crisis. I will talk to my T. It will be hard. But since she’s my T she should try to help me.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
unaluna
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Anonymous45127
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
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#37
I embarrassed myself at work today. For context, I work in a very laid back environment. My team was doing an outing today to a driving range that I wasn't attending because of other stuff that I've already talked about here. There were a few guys standing around chatting about golf before they left. As we were wrapping up the conversation, I said "I hope you enjoy playing with your little white balls". As these words were leaving my mouth, I realized the double entendre. My manager completely lost it laughing and said he wasn't touching that with a ten foot pole, which didn't help at all. I was laughing too, but I was beet red. A few minutes later, another guy came over to talk to the manager and told the other guy what I said. I think I'm never going to live this one down.
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atisketatasket, chihirochild, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SheHulk07, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anonymous45127
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#38
Ah well, don't be too hard on yourself. Sounds like it was good natured teasing.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
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#39
Actually sounds like a pretty woke thing to say.
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atisketatasket, chihirochild, SheHulk07, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,352 hugs
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#40
It was funny, just a little bit embarrassing.
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SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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