Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLII

kaleidoscopeheart · Jan 10, 2020 at 11:59 PM

Dear T,

This whole feelings thing gets kinda sucky when I have moments where I want to talk to you for no reason other than just to talk to you. Ugh. Stupid attachment. :P

captgut · Jan 11, 2020 at 03:25 AM

Something terrible happened and I need you, but I'll see you only after 2 weeks. A friend suggested to ask you for an extra session, but I don't want to bother you

Lemoncake · Jan 11, 2020 at 06:19 AM

More uncessary drama at the coffee shop.

B +Y and I were sitting in a row of tables with the center one being a table for four with the ones at the ends being for two people.

I was sat in the center with Y waiting for the other table on the right to be free. When it was I moved down. Y wanted to join the tables- making one huge one for 6 and I honestly felt so trapped so said no that I wanted more space and she got very angry at me. I just said I didn't care that she was angry.

She's not talking to me now.

B knows to say nothing.

Lol are we 12?

nottrustin · Jan 11, 2020 at 10:51 AM

This week I was completely vulnerable and opened up up to not on you but pdoc. Now I feel completely horrible. I even told pdoc about the unsafe thoughts I have been having. I now feel like I can't trust either of you. I have never told ANYBODY the things I told the both of you. Now you know the one thing about me that I swore I would never tell others.

Lonelyinmyheart · Jan 11, 2020 at 12:41 PM

Please T, you said you would text me today. I will never get over it if you forget about me today. I just don't think I could ever recover from this. Please please text me. I know this is a special day for you and you're so busy, but you said you wouldn't forget. You must know how much this means. So please T, send me a text. I'm crying just thinking about you not doing it. I need you to send one.

atisketatasket · Jan 11, 2020 at 08:55 PM

Dear Info,

Sometimes I think I’ve run out of the people who will love me in my life already.

ATAT

velcro003 · Jan 11, 2020 at 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Please T, you said you would text me today. I will never get over it if you forget about me today. I just don't think I could ever recover from this. Please please text me. I know this is a special day for you and you're so busy, but you said you wouldn't forget. You must know how much this means. So please T, send me a text. I'm crying just thinking about you not doing it. I need you to send one.

I hope you got a text

goatee · Jan 11, 2020 at 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Please T, you said you would text me today. I will never get over it if you forget about me today. I just don't think I could ever recover from this. Please please text me. I know this is a special day for you and you're so busy, but you said you wouldn't forget. You must know how much this means. So please T, send me a text. I'm crying just thinking about you not doing it. I need you to send one.

I’ve been thinking of you. I hope you did too.

daisydid · Jan 12, 2020 at 01:54 AM

You don’t know this but I’m meeting with you right after I meet with my principal on Tuesday. Also, we’ll be alone. How odd.

Lonelyinmyheart · Jan 12, 2020 at 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goatee

I’ve been thinking of you. I hope you did too.

Thank you for thinking of me, and Velcro too. It means a lot.

She did text....after I sent her one late in the evening. There's a reason for it but I'm feeling awful. Like there's a hole in my soul. Will say a bit more in my thread in the romantic section just to offload. Not expecting replies but any are welcome if so inclined.

Lemoncake · 06:52 AM

Two days of feeling awesome and it's come crashing down again.

One more exam to go.

I counted around 210 sessions going all the way through my skype conversations, not including the ones I saw you in person.

40*210= £8400.

8.75 days with you.

That's all.

comrademoomoo · Jan 12, 2020 at 10:35 AM

I miss you. Don't let it go to your head.

Blueberry21 · Jan 12, 2020 at 02:44 PM

I’ve been massively triggered today, so I read my C-PTSD book because I knew what was happening. I think you would want me to email you, but I don’t want to admit that I need to.

For a while the urge to SH was almost unbearable. I know I should tell you but I don’t want you to think less of me for it.

Lemoncake · Jan 12, 2020 at 03:20 PM

Reading my old journal from 2018 just after you came back from a holiday.

This is what another poster said about the situation then, which I feel still applies now.

S: I need you and I hate that I need you.
R: I can't hear you.

kumy · Jan 12, 2020 at 07:06 PM

I hope you're having a great time with your family. You know, sometimes I have wished that we were related. I know probably you have lots of flaws and that I'm idolizing you, but it helps. That's why I want to stop therapy half of the time, I'm afraid of feeling this way about you.

chihirochild · Jan 12, 2020 at 07:22 PM

Dear T,

I miss you, or something. I hate it.

-c

Mountaindewed · Jan 12, 2020 at 09:30 PM

You’d get so mad if you knew I was trying to burn calories by taking a hot shower and as a result of the scalding water I got so dizzy I almost passed out.

Lrad123 · Jan 12, 2020 at 10:02 PM

I’m not sure it counts as acting out if I do it very politely and thoughtfully.

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 13, 2020 at 03:24 AM

Two more attempts at sleep 'til the first trigger date, and three until I see you. Not that I'm counting.

velcro003 · Jan 13, 2020 at 01:50 PM

T: I suddenly got this sense of doom that you’ll be sick tomorrow and will have to cancel again. I hope i’m wrong.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLII

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kaleidoscopeheart Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 333 7 77 hugs given	Jan 10, 2020 at 11:59 PM #941 Dear T, This whole feelings thing gets kinda sucky when I have moments where I want to talk to you for no reason other than just to talk to you. Ugh. Stupid attachment. :P

captgut Grand Poohbah Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Here Posts: 1,731 7 1,505 hugs given	Jan 11, 2020 at 03:25 AM #942 Something terrible happened and I need you, but I'll see you only after 2 weeks. A friend suggested to ask you for an extra session, but I don't want to bother you

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,149 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Jan 11, 2020 at 08:55 PM #946 Dear Info, Sometimes I think I’ve run out of the people who will love me in my life already. ATAT

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 01:54 AM #949 You don’t know this but I’m meeting with you right after I meet with my principal on Tuesday. Also, we’ll be alone. How odd.

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,714 5	Jan 12, 2020 at 10:35 AM #952 I miss you. Don't let it go to your head.

Blueberry21 Member Member Since Dec 2019 Location: London, UK Posts: 111 4 480 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 02:44 PM #953 I’ve been massively triggered today, so I read my C-PTSD book because I knew what was happening. I think you would want me to email you, but I don’t want to admit that I need to. For a while the urge to SH was almost unbearable. I know I should tell you but I don’t want you to think less of me for it.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 03:20 PM #954 Reading my old journal from 2018 just after you came back from a holiday. This is what another poster said about the situation then, which I feel still applies now. S: I need you and I hate that I need you. R: I can't hear you. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

kumy Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2019 Location: hanging from a cloud Posts: 3,002 4 192 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 07:06 PM #955 I hope you're having a great time with your family. You know, sometimes I have wished that we were related. I know probably you have lots of flaws and that I'm idolizing you, but it helps. That's why I want to stop therapy half of the time, I'm afraid of feeling this way about you.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 07:22 PM #956 Dear T, I miss you, or something. I hate it. -c

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,215 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,769 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 09:30 PM #957 You’d get so mad if you knew I was trying to burn calories by taking a hot shower and as a result of the scalding water I got so dizzy I almost passed out. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

Lrad123 Poohbah Member Since Nov 2017 Location: United States Posts: 1,332 6 372 hugs given	Jan 12, 2020 at 10:02 PM #958 I’m not sure it counts as acting out if I do it very politely and thoughtfully.

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jan 13, 2020 at 01:50 PM #960 T: I suddenly got this sense of doom that you’ll be sick tomorrow and will have to cancel again. I hope i’m wrong.