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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 11:14 AM
  #181
Hey L. So far so good, I still feel nothing but relief but I'll see how I feel on Thursday at what used to be "our" time. I am already planning on going hiking in the Nat'l Park near my house after work, so I'll be out in my beloved desert...

(although I may still 'talk' to you here for awhile, old habits and all haha)
 
 
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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 12:35 PM
  #182
I love you. My love for you makes me sad.
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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 01:46 PM
  #183
Well I guess this is it

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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 03:25 PM
  #184
I've already not seen you for 17 days.

You're fading and don't feel real.

I think I can do this alone.

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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 07:57 PM
  #185
Today I was freaking out about how to handle my anxiety in the future if certain events happen and my T said to me: we have ways to help you with your anxiety.

Yeah do those ways not include me gaining 40 pounds from some new medication? I don’t have an eating disorder but I am very particular about my weight and will refuse any treatment that involves even the slightest possibility of weight gain.

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Default Oct 21, 2019 at 09:46 PM
  #186
I wish I could actually send you all the emails I write rather than saving them as drafts. I have so many emails that I have written since that dreadful day that I could probably write a book.

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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 05:56 AM
  #187
ExT i keep dreaming that you are a Golem i cannot assemble or animate. Frustrating
 
 
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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 07:13 AM
  #188
T2,

I am more tired than I should be. I hope it's just the weather changing (I hate this) & all the stress. I am so tired of this car **** & worried about my cat.
And I still miss him. Wth is wrong with me?

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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 08:33 AM
  #189
L, we done good. We done real good. I am forever grateful! Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIIDear T: I really need to tell you something XLII
Even though I couldn't handle the transference stuff anymore and had to get out, we still did a lot of good work together and I feel like i am able to hold onto that.

Last edited by Anonymous43207; Oct 22, 2019 at 09:08 AM..
 
 
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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 12:51 PM
  #190
Hey T. I’m sorry your H is still dealing w the hospital and now surgery. 😞 It does suck to have to wait another week though after last week’s topic. Sigh.
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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #191
I just realized it’s been more than a month from when you first had to cancel bc iof your H in the hospital. Now i’m really worried. I hope he is okay. What will happen if he’s not? Or if something worse happens? I don’t know how I could continue therapy with you knowing you’d be grieving. I know, i probably shouldn’t catastrophize, but i’m all worried now.
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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 02:37 PM
  #192
If I'm being honest for the past five years I've always just been focused/ bordering on obsessive with one person at a time.

L
H
M
Now you.

I actually don't know who I am without having that extra person there.

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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 02:54 PM
  #193
Dear T: I cancelled our session for tomorrow. I doubt you'll notice. I don't think you look at your appointments until the day of. I wish you would notice, but I already know you don't really care. Kit

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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 04:29 PM
  #194
Dear T,

Thank you for always being supportive, especially when I go through periods where I sincerely question myself, my life, and the choices I make. I am so grateful to have you in my life.
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Default Oct 22, 2019 at 06:06 PM
  #195
Dear T,

STABILITY!
I want to have a stable home, stable health, stable security, stable hygiene, stable emotions, stable relationships and a stable heart!
Is that doable? Is that ok?

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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 04:08 AM
  #196
I wish I had your extensive network. I'm amazed by how incredibly accomplished you are. You're just two years older yet have a Doctorate and are considered an expert in your field. While I'm stuck in dead end jobs, with just a diploma because I flunked out of Computer Science. And you're so humble, and you care about me, and you respect me even though I've done nothing to warrant that... You call be brave, you've said your clients inspire you and I honestly don't understand why you think I've any good qualities.
 
 
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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 06:01 AM
  #197
I'm very shocked about that.

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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 09:26 AM
  #198
Possible trigger:


Some people have real problems. All I ever did was cry about exams.

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Last edited by Lemoncake; Oct 23, 2019 at 10:10 AM..
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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 10:08 AM
  #199
Your hugs have been very non-committal over the last couple of weeks.
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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 10:58 AM
  #200
Did someone just say sorry they hurt me ? Did I hear that right ? !!

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