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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,807
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#461
I may be losing it.
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atisketatasket, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, SoAn, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 120
4 84 hugs
given |
#462
i wrote down how i would like our romantic relationship to be
and thinking of you being really sweet to me made me cry so much i feel better now though ah i know that it would be a bad idea if these things were real but i want to hold onto the fantasies, i feel less alone this way that also makes me cry i wonder if you think about me sometimes, and what you think definitely not as much as i think of you and maybe more negative or neutral thoughts perhaps you are the kind of person who can more easily let go of someone and i am probably overestimating how much you felt for me that also makes me cry, almost i know it is all unreal and in reality would not be as in my fantasy i would be different you would be different i hope you still stay in my dreams for a while before i have to let you go that makes me cry very much |
Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#463
Please don't cancel Tuesday. You've cancelled so much over the past few months that each week makes me nervous. I get it, but it still sucks.
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ElectricManatee, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,792
12 3,119 hugs
given |
#464
I see you, Velcro. That sounds really tough.
------------- Hi R, It's the morning of the event. Feeling kind of weird right now, funny stomach and such. I probably will email you later. Thanks, Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
4 1,732 hugs
given |
#465
I love you t. And dont ever want to stop seeing you.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, SoAn
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#466
You both make coping with anxiety seem so easy. I am sure you know it isn't. I have tried the deep breathing, relaxing with coffee, napping, keeping busy, talking to my husband...I even resorted to taking anxiety meds which you both know I hate. I have friends coming over for a Thanksgiving dinner which I normally love to entertain. Unfortunately I dont even want to do that.
__________________ |
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,692
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#467
I don't have words.
See you in 1 day, 21 hours and 28 mins I guess. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#468
Sometimes I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I'm arguing with people on reddit again. Apparently I can't help myself. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, SoAn
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
given |
#469
T, sometimes I'd like you to be more proactive. Sometimes I think you are scared. Sometimes I think you think you don't know what you're doing. Sometimes I know you don't know what's going on in front of you. If I were you I wouldn't know what the heck was going on inside me, either.
But, I'd like you to take more risks. You actually do know what you are doing. And even if sometimes you really don't know what the right thing to do is, I would like you to take a risk. If it's wrong I will tell you. It's okay to be wrong. What you do is good enough. But, if you took more risks, what you do could be even better. Thanks, me. |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,735
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#470
Dear T,
Thanks for the reassurance. I tried to avoid asking for it, but I made it over 2 days, so that's something, right? I'm sure I'll still be a little nervous when I see you tomorrow, but your reply helped. Love, LT |
SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,792
12 3,119 hugs
given |
#471
Three more sleeps.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,692
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#472
Just that. I've been really ill for the past two days. I did think of asking if you could see me sooner, but I didn't. Biochem exam this Thursday because they went with the majority. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
ElectricManatee, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: PA
Posts: 33
4 8 hugs
given |
#473
I see you tomorrow. I have such a sick feeling inside, I'm so, so nervous. Just last week I thought our next session would never come, and now I need more time. I'm not ready to have this discussion. It could go one of a million different ways. I need to stop playing through every scenario in my head I just hope I don't shut down
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chihirochild, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,133
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,749 hugs
given |
#474
I have to talk to my T because I called her today as a kinda emergency type call. I was seeing my Pdoc an hour later but I trust her and I don’t really trust him. When I walked into my Pdocs office the first thing he said was “so T just called me.” Um, I know I gave her permission to talk to him but does she have to tell him everything? And on my way out he told me that he will keep getting updates from my T. Ok whatever. I guess now I have to specify stuff I don’t want him to know.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 750
9 893 hugs
given |
#475
You have me really worried about you. I’m afraid your constant high stress and inability to stop working or stop adding new work is going to lead to a heart attack. I can sense very strongly how much you’re hurting, and it hurts me too because I care about you. Your behavior towards me lately has been erratic, reactive, hurtful, sometimes lacking integrity, and overall inappropriate for a T. Sometimes it feels like you gaslight me a bit to protect your ego. That really hurts, too, and negativity impacts my will to live. It’s like reliving my childhood in a way with the added fear of your health. I tried to talk to you about it but you got really defensive. I wish I could help you even though it’s not my job, but no matter how calm, positive, and understanding I try to be, it still seems like you hate me. I don’t know what to do, but it feels awful to watch you self destruct without intervening in some way. And I know you wouldn’t be acting this way towards me if you weren’t hurting so bad yourself. I’m really sorry you don’t feel well and that I trigger your bad feelings. Please hang in there.
__________________ "I think I'm a hypochondriac. I sure hope so, otherwise I'm just about to die." PTSD OCD Anxiety Major Depressive Disorder (Severe & Recurrent) |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,807
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#476
How do I tell you I'm feeling
Possible trigger:
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ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#477
HUGS @NP_Complete Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 876
11 601 hugs
given |
#478
Quote:
I don’t think it’s ever manipulative to tell your therapist you’re feeling suicidal. In my opinion, manipulation would be saying something like “I’m suicidal, and if you don’t do x I’m going to do y”—so making your behaviors/choices dependent on theirs. Simply sharing how you feel is not wrong and is nothing to feel guilty for. That is what therapists are there for. I’m sorry you’re feeling so low at the moment. |
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Lonelyinmyheart, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,807
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#479
He's going to be gone next week and telling him before he leaves feels like a terrible time to bring it up. Also, we're in the mid-repair phase of a rupture that's been going on for two weeks now and me telling him that this rupture is making me feel this way feels really wrong. I feel like if I tell him, I must be doing it to be manipulative (get more attention I guess), so if I don't tell him, then I'm not being manipulative. I'm so messed up lately I don't even know what my own motivations are for anything I do.
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SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 333
7 77 hugs
given |
#480
Dear T,
I hate that you are so busy lately. I miss the days when I could call and get a same day appointment. I’m struggling but I will try not to spiral too far before my next appointment. |
SlumberKitty
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