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nervous puppy
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 07:32 AM
  #501
T, Thank you for your response to my email.
"Let’s talk more about your “typical numbness” - perhaps in next session? There seems to be judgement. Is that a general temperament or style of introversion? Conservative to express feeling? I don’t experience you as a non-feeling person, but rather, one who is cautious about where/how and with whom you share."
Just the words "I experience you" was a thoughtful choice of wording and most helpful to me. Thank you.
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 08:02 AM
  #502
Oh T, I'm so sorry you've been ill. I can't text you back, I don't know what to say. Please don't feel bad for how I feel. I freaked out. I'm so relieved you are okay (ish).
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 08:18 AM
  #503
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Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart View Post
Oh T, I'm so sorry you've been ill. I can't text you back, I don't know what to say. Please don't feel bad for how I feel. I freaked out. I'm so relieved you are okay (ish).

Glad you heard back from your T and that she's, as you put it, Okay-ish.
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 09:35 AM
  #504
I had a big realization yesterday. After we have an appointment were I felt like we went really deep and I revealed something from the past that makes me feel ashamed and I freeze, that is when I really struggle after the fact. I worry about what you really think and feel. If I reach out to you for help then I worry about inconveniencing or annoying you. If I dont contact you my fears and feeling of shame continue. I also start to question my self worth. I start to feel like I have accomplished nothing in my career. The phone contact with you is usually quite helpful. It isnt until the next appointment that I really know everything is okay.

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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 02:17 PM
  #505
T: Yesterday was a doozy. Licensing came which is always stressful, and I had forgotten to clean a potty, so a STUPID mistake on my part. I’m still mad over it bc i am so good about cleaning them! And I was angry all day. Partially maybe as a therapy hangover and partially over the situation w D. Then i drank for the first time in over a month. THEN i had an awful nightmare, which i haven’t remembered or had in awhile.

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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 02:20 PM
  #506
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Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
T: Yesterday was a doozy. Licensing came which is always stressful, and I had forgotten to clean a potty, so a STUPID mistake on my part. I’m still mad over it bc i am so good about cleaning them! And I was angry all day. Partially maybe as a therapy hangover and partially over the situation w D. Then i drank for the first time in over a month. THEN i had an awful nightmare, which i haven’t remembered or had in awhile.

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That's a really scary dream! Sorry you have it.
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 03:55 PM
  #507
Just two more exams to get through, if I can finish both before december. Then I'd just have have two weeks of internal in jan then would be free from the 12th jan to 17th feb!

Epi = 60 topics.
Infectious is one of the biggest of the year 132 topics.

So my day off tomorrow will be spent at the gym and studying.

P.s I love you.

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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 09:25 PM
  #508
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That's a really scary dream! Sorry you have it.
thanks! unfortunately, those type of nightmares are par for the course around here
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 09:53 PM
  #509
My heart stops when you look at me.

She just looks at me so intensely. Ugh. maybe I should go back on my birth control just to get rid of these hormones. They suck. I’m not used to feeling like this.

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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 03:12 PM
  #510
Hi T, missed you a bit today. Part of me didn't want to write "no need to reply" in my email to you today, but I thought there was no need to risk an unsatisfying reply that might make me feel bad. Safer to just ask you not to reply. Love you.
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 03:16 PM
  #511
I regret emailing you, I regret
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I regret becoming vulnerable and opening up to you about s*** that I should’ve kept to myself to avoid getting hurt, because I know it’s inevitable.
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 03:43 PM
  #512
Hugs, Summer, be safe...
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 03:50 PM
  #513
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Hugs, Summer, be safe...


Thanks LT.. I feel terrible for always coming to this forum with my
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 04:52 PM
  #514
This morning I freaked out about the calories in my iced latte so I dumped it out when there was half of it left. The size of my thighs are driving me crazy though even though my mom says they are fine.

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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 07:32 PM
  #515
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Thanks LT.. I feel terrible for always coming to this forum with my
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Hugs, it's OK. It's what we're here for. We want you to be alive!
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 09:58 PM
  #516
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Thanks LT.. I feel terrible for always coming to this forum with my
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Please don't feel bad. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see you post
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 10:13 PM
  #517
Dear T,
I kept repeating some of what you said today in my head while D was freaking out a bit tonight. It helped. And I asked her if she wanted a hug, and she did. She's going to sleep now. I should soon, too. But thanks for more validation today. It was like a verbal hug.
Love,

LT
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Attention Nov 23, 2019 at 02:46 AM
  #518
i wish you had just simply said "what can i do to help you?" !!!!
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Default Nov 23, 2019 at 03:39 AM
  #519
I wish it would be possible for us to talk both on Wednesday and Friday this week. I worry that it would seem excessive and not possible for you to do since you're already going to be taking time out of your vacation to talk to me on the phone Wednesday.
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Default Nov 23, 2019 at 07:24 AM
  #520
As the holiday season is fast approaching, I can't help but think about the holidays. I miss the decorations in your home office. Yesterday I was reminded of how you never really learned to cook or bake. In the last couple of years as you were trying to learn, you asked me for advice. I miss bot being able to bring you a homemade apple pie from my son and cookies and candy I made. Such wonderful memories. Thank you for the memories. I miss you.

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