Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLII

Lemoncake · Dec 07, 2019 at 08:30 PM

Possible trigger:

I spent the day crying. Skipping gym and procrastinating a lot. I watched anything and everything just to numb myself a bit.

I only went over 3 topics and my exam is on thursday. It's 2.30am and I'm going to stop being pathetic, stop googling your wife and just try to sleep.

RaineD · Dec 07, 2019 at 09:00 PM

I went to your old office again today. It felt different. The sense of familiarity is gone. I don't know how I feel about this.

kaleidoscopeheart · Dec 07, 2019 at 10:07 PM

Sometimes I want to leave therapy just to make your life easier and less stressful.... this is probably something I should talk to you about first though, right?

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 08, 2019 at 04:29 AM

I didn't want to get into counting down the days digitally again, but mentally it's a different matter. Four more sleeps 'til Thursday.

Lemoncake · Dec 08, 2019 at 03:32 PM

Today was better.

comrademoomoo · Dec 08, 2019 at 04:00 PM

I hate only coming once a week, I hate you, I hate that I can't stop biting my nails, I hate that I have two more weeks at work before I break for Christmas, I hate that I won't see you for two weeks over Christmas, I REALLY hate that I won't see you for two weeks over Christmas, I hate your stupid partner, I hate that stupid teapot that you used in our last session , I hate your stupid cat because it sits on your stupid knee, I hate that I am stupid, I hate that you never let the session run over (how else am I supposed to believe that you really care?!), I hate that you are a drinker and I can tell when you are hungover, I hate that I missed that deadline, etc and forever.

RosyC · Dec 08, 2019 at 05:50 PM

I feel so scared.

Mountaindewed · Dec 08, 2019 at 06:23 PM

My sleep has been all over the place again. Friday I didn’t get to sleep until 2:30AM. Sunday morning my sleep was interrupted. Today I took a 2 hour nap. I can guess what the cause is though.

circlesincircles · Dec 08, 2019 at 07:28 PM

How do I decide not to come back?

Elio · Dec 08, 2019 at 09:40 PM

Honestly, I don't think my best right now is good enough.

goatee · Dec 08, 2019 at 10:03 PM

You didn’t answer me.

nottrustin · Dec 08, 2019 at 10:40 PM

At mass today, the priest talked about a topic we discussed last week. He talked about if we are so busy all the tune and being afraid to have quiet time, we will never hear when God is taking to us. You and I discussed having quiet time and just being and allowing for quiet time. hmmmm

goatee · Dec 08, 2019 at 10:47 PM

T, I feel really exposed. And really hurt.

kumy · Dec 09, 2019 at 07:59 AM

I'm not OK.

Lemoncake · Dec 09, 2019 at 10:06 AM

I dreamt that I was

Possible trigger:

little and scared and hiding under a table with a white table cloth that didn't even reach the floor.

Then two young girls doing Y and I tell the older one to stop, because it was sexual abuse.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 09, 2019 at 10:18 AM

Three more sleeps.

nottrustin · 11:23 AM

Ny coworker keeps playing the song that reminds me of you. I was doing pretty well with the grief and missing you until I came to work this morning.

SlumberKitty · Dec 09, 2019 at 12:31 PM

Dear Pastor T: I don't know what I want as a response from you tonight. But don't mess this up. Thanks Kit

velcro003 · Dec 09, 2019 at 01:57 PM

T: my mood is getting worse. 😰

RosyC · Dec 09, 2019 at 04:45 PM

I’m incredibly isolated. You are the only person who knows, so are the only person I can speak to. But I don’t see you till next week. The memories are burning.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLII

My Support Forums

RaineD Grand Member Member Since Aug 2017 Location: United States Posts: 950 6 962 hugs given	Dec 07, 2019 at 09:00 PM #642 I went to your old office again today. It felt different. The sense of familiarity is gone. I don't know how I feel about this.

kaleidoscopeheart Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 333 7 77 hugs given	Dec 07, 2019 at 10:07 PM #643 Sometimes I want to leave therapy just to make your life easier and less stressful.... this is probably something I should talk to you about first though, right?

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,717 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 03:32 PM #645 Today was better. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

RosyC Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Space Posts: 73 4 11 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 05:50 PM #647 I feel so scared.

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,298 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,802 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 06:23 PM #648 My sleep has been all over the place again. Friday I didn’t get to sleep until 2:30AM. Sunday morning my sleep was interrupted. Today I took a 2 hour nap. I can guess what the cause is though. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

circlesincircles Member Member Since May 2018 Location: United States Posts: 303 5	Dec 08, 2019 at 07:28 PM #649 How do I decide not to come back?

Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,911 17 8,779 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 09:40 PM #650 Honestly, I don't think my best right now is good enough.

goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 10:03 PM #651 You didn’t answer me.

nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 10:40 PM #652 At mass today, the priest talked about a topic we discussed last week. He talked about if we are so busy all the tune and being afraid to have quiet time, we will never hear when God is taking to us. You and I discussed having quiet time and just being and allowing for quiet time. hmmmm __________________

goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 10:47 PM #653 T, I feel really exposed. And really hurt.

kumy Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2019 Location: hanging from a cloud Posts: 3,002 4 192 hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 07:59 AM #654 I'm not OK.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,717 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 10:06 AM #655 I dreamt that I was Possible trigger: little and scared and hiding under a table with a white table cloth that didn't even reach the floor. Then two young girls doing Y and I tell the older one to stop, because it was sexual abuse. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

LostOnTheTrail Tweaky Dog Member Since Aug 2011 Location: England Posts: 4,806 12 3,143 hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 10:18 AM #656 Three more sleeps. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...' Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin

nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 10:49 AM #657 Ny coworker keeps playing the song that reminds me of you. I was doing pretty well with the grief and missing you until I came to work this morning. __________________ Last edited by nottrustin; Dec 09, 2019 at 11:23 AM..

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 12:31 PM #658 Dear Pastor T: I don't know what I want as a response from you tonight. But don't mess this up. Thanks Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 01:57 PM #659 T: my mood is getting worse. 😰

RosyC Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Space Posts: 73 4 11 hugs given	Dec 09, 2019 at 04:45 PM #660 I’m incredibly isolated. You are the only person who knows, so are the only person I can speak to. But I don’t see you till next week. The memories are burning.