Hey just wondering if anyone out there experience co-depencey attachment? How did you overcome it? Or is there any useful information about it?

I'm asking because I experience it.
Well my therapy has been pushed to every 2 weeks.
I'm finding it really hard. Especially since the therapy ends at March.
But I still don't have friends or a job. So it's really scary for it to end. But I am looking or shopping for councilor since my current therapist reckons I need that support, but not to feed the depencey.

[feileacan]

What do you mean by co-dependency attachment? What does your T say when you ask them the same question you asked here? How do they propose you to overcome it?

What does the therapist mean by 'feeding the dependency'? Are they currently feeding the dependency? Why does this therapy end in March and why are you pushed to every two weeks?

[here today]

Can you ask your therapist for more information about this? Seems like they might have some information since they brought the topic up.

Originally Posted by feileacan

What do you mean by co-dependency attachment? What does your T say when you ask them the same question you asked here? How do they propose you to overcome it?

What does the therapist mean by 'feeding the dependency'? Are they currently feeding the dependency? Why does this therapy end in March and why are you pushed to every two weeks?

I guess my therapist mean by me going to them to slove my problems instead of me to figuring out myself. Use the skills I know? I haven't asked them that question to be honsent. But it be a good question to ask.

Well they have try to reduce the dependency by not calling them when I'm distressed.

Well it ends in March because I go to public mental health system. In my country the goverment pays the therapist working at the public mental health system so I get therapy for free.
From what my therapist has told me. The system pressures the therapist to get rid of clients because there is this waiting list for other people that need therapy.
She said also she has 16 clients and if she takes more people in and keep her old clients it would get too much for the therapist too.
That's why. They only keep people in whe you are really bad. They dont keep you once you are all better, unfortunately.
So the reduce 2 weeks is to slowly to wee off from them.
I am looking for another councilor cause they reckon I dont need a psychologist at the stage I am in.

But yeah just stressful, overwhelming and anxiety provoking.

[feileacan]

I'm sorry you are in this situation but unfortunately I don't think this situation involves any solutions for you. I also understand the rationales given by your therapist about how the mental health system works but those rationales are not helpful for you. It seems that your case is too complex for the mental health system you are in and they are limited in their workings and thus cannot really help you.

The only way I know how to work with such complex cases is to let the person become dependent by not fostering it from the therapist side and slowly, gently and patiently help the person to go through this dependence while having the firm belief that if the time and conditions are right, every person starts to emerge as an autonomous entity. The job of the therapist is to create such conditions that you would start to feel safe enough to begin to become more independent and autonomous. This happens when you can be sure enough in your relationship with your T that he is there for you when you need it. That's a slow process that probably takes years and it's not aimed for symptom reduction but for rebuilding the character and internalising the safe persons (T in this case) as objects.

The problem is that I don't think you find the practitioners that do this kind of work within public mental health systems. For obvious reasons of course - it would be too much to expect the public to pay for such services. So I suppose what you can expect from the public service is mostly time-limited help aimed at symptom reduction or alleviating the immediate situation triggered stress.

[Taylor27]

So sorry this is happening to you. I go to a mental health clinic here in Canada thats free with our health care. I am not sure how it works where you are. Here there is no time limit, but it's very hard to get weekly therapy. I go every three weeks thats the norm. There is allot of pressure to make sure clients are making progress. I am going to share what happen to me last year and hope it helps you.


Last January my previous therapist announce he was retiring in May, so with that he was going to see me 3 more times and shut down my file. I tried to talk to him about getting a new therapist and wrote him a long letter why I needed a new therapist or counsellor. We both ended up fustrated. I eventually went to my Family doctor who intervened and the following session my therapist agreed I needed therapy still. Now I have a great female therapist and things are working out. It was tough and something that i hope to never go through again. Can you work with your family doctor, let them help you get a new therapist or counsellor? Hugs

[susannahsays]

I don't think you're talking about codependency, but dependency since it sounds like your therapist isn't codependent with you (it takes two to tango).