Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

Oct 12, 2019 at 11:34 PM

Thanks NP. I don't know what the answer is.

NP_Complete · Oct 12, 2019 at 11:43 PM

I wish there was some (peri)menopause hotline one could call to complain about one's body and get some reassurance that everything is within tolerances.

My (male) therapist seems okay with talking about these issues, but, boy, is it weird.

SheHulk07 · Oct 13, 2019 at 12:59 AM

Thank you guys. I havent crafted in forever, but wanted to do their costumes again this year. I bought the dresses but adding some things to them. Started adding to one dress tonight, will probably finish it tomorrow hopefully.

StressedMess · Oct 13, 2019 at 03:39 AM

Why, precisely, am I awake at 4:30 am? Ugh.

Hugs for Art and anyone else who needs one.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 13, 2019 at 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

chronic illness is a real pain. I just feel like everything is so minute to minute all the time. Maybe I can make plans tomorrow or maybe I wont be able to walk or use my hands. SURPRISE!!!

I completely relate. It's hard.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 13, 2019 at 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I am all mopey tonight over this whole L thing. H tried to help by letting me talk. Then he said that he knows that I love her and he admitted that he is jealous of her, of this hold she seems to have over me. He said I can't help you. If you want to keep going, keep going but I don't think it's healthy. I said I don't want to. I am thinking now that going back next week is maybe not such a good idea after all. I doubt there's any way I'd get any kind of closure if I did even if I specifically asked for it at this point. I see my pattern of perpetuating my own drama just so I can go back - ie, sending the email the other night while drinking margaritas. What the hell did I think would happen when she read it? Of course she called and wanted me to come back to talk about it. Crimeny. I've made such a mess. I guess I should call her Monday and cancel while it's still well beyond the 48 hour thing. I need to get out of this mess somehow.

How about you email and tell her you need time and space to work out what to do. She shouldn't be making any demands on you. I'm sure she's attached to you and probably doesn't want you to leave either, but ultimately it's your decision to make and really loving someone is about allowing them that freedom. You could thank her for seeing you but you just need your own space now. That is what I would do. Then make an appointment if/when you feel ready. I suspect that given enough time you will start to feel relieved that you're away from the drama. It does sound like you feel that nothing is going to be gained or worked through from staying and I would say trust and go with that feeling.

precaryous · Oct 13, 2019 at 08:42 AM

Just realizing in my case therapy isn’t meant to ‘cure’, treat or even SOLVE anything.
It’s just meant to give me supportive company as I ‘traverse the ups and downs.’ (?)

I have been with T for five years ....and I’m just finding this out...now?!

Maybe it’s just I’ve had sooo many emergencies (emergent and non-emergent health issues, impending move, deaths in family, squawks with DD) there is no time for ‘solving or healing anything’ bc we are too busy putting out fires.

Maybe there is no such thing as ‘healing’ ?
Maybe there is no such thing as ‘therapy’?
Maybe they keep me so busy ...maybe they keep me so attached..so I don’t off myself??

Im so gullible. I didn’t even see it.

Goals, people. Revisit goals with your T.

atisketatasket · Oct 13, 2019 at 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

Just realizing in my case therapy isn’t meant to ‘cure’, treat or even SOLVE anything.
It’s just meant to give me supportive company as I ‘traverse the ups and downs.’ (?)

I have been with T for five years ....and I’m just finding this out...now?!

Maybe it’s just I’ve had sooo many emergencies (emergent and non-emergent health issues, impending move, deaths in family, squawks with DD) there is no time for ‘solving or healing anything’ bc we are too busy putting out fires.

Maybe there is no such thing as ‘healing’ ?
Maybe there is no such thing as ‘therapy’?
Maybe they keep me so busy ...maybe they keep me so attached..so I don’t off myself??

Im so gullible. I didn’t even see it.

Goals, people. Revisit goals with your T.

Pre--I see absolutely nothing wrong with using therapy like that. I have and still do. It's how therapy got me through my sui and sh period. Now I use it more as a life coach kind of thing.

precaryous · Oct 13, 2019 at 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Pre--I see absolutely nothing wrong with using therapy like that. I have and still do. It's how therapy got me through my sui and sh period. Now I use it more as a life coach kind of thing.

Guess I had my own agenda (which is fine) but I didn’t check to see if T could do it.
I thought there might be some sort of ‘trauma therapy’ that would bring me understanding and peace with the past traumas. I thought I would feel better, more whole.
I thought it might help me feel like a human being.

These were my hopes.
I misunderstood.

Now there is none.

unaluna · 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

so una! what's on 48 hours? I haven't watched that in awhile.

It was about the

Possible trigger:

Chowchilla kidnapping - a schoolbus full of kids - in 1976. No one was physically hurt, they were found like the next day, but it was an horrific experience. I have been reading a book about the TOTAL lack of psychological services back then.

One kidnapper just came up for parole again, and was denied. He is 67 (my age). He was the mastermind.The other two, who were brothers, have already been released. They were all from affluent families. They were looking for like 5 billion dollars ransom from the state of california, thats why they kidnapped so many kids.

But - they couldnt get thru on the call lines - the phones were too busy! So the kids and the bus driver escaped while the kidnappers were literally napping!

Eta - so, interesting to look at in terms of trauma and ptsd.

Salmon77 · Oct 13, 2019 at 10:59 AM

An old friend I haven't seen in 20 years got in touch with me, which seemed fine at first, but it has turned into a walk down a very crappy portion of memory lane, crappier even than I realized at the time or than I've been letting myself remember. Monday therapy session got postponed to Tuesday so I am just stuck on my own with this ****.

atisketatasket · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

Guess I had my own agenda (which is fine) but I didn’t check to see if T could do it.

I thought there might be some sort of ‘trauma therapy’ that would bring me understanding and peace with the past traumas. I thought I would feel better, more whole.

I thought it might help me feel like a human being.

These were my hopes.

I misunderstood.

Now there is none.

I don’t think this is on you. “Healing” and “wholeness” are just part of the bill of goods the profession tries to sell clients. They are shorthand for “scarring over” and “functional.”

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

Just realizing in my case therapy isn’t meant to ‘cure’, treat or even SOLVE anything.
It’s just meant to give me supportive company as I ‘traverse the ups and downs.’ (?)

I have been with T for five years ....and I’m just finding this out...now?!

Maybe it’s just I’ve had sooo many emergencies (emergent and non-emergent health issues, impending move, deaths in family, squawks with DD) there is no time for ‘solving or healing anything’ bc we are too busy putting out fires.

Maybe there is no such thing as ‘healing’ ?
Maybe there is no such thing as ‘therapy’?
Maybe they keep me so busy ...maybe they keep me so attached..so I don’t off myself??

Im so gullible. I didn’t even see it.

Goals, people. Revisit goals with your T.

My current T 's role is very much like this. However, with past ts it has been about working through the past AND reaching a point where I could live with it . I do feel that I have pretty much healed from a great many experiences but that doesn't mean they don't still hurt from time to time..just that they no longer affect my present life in any big way.

A t's role can be whatever you need it to be. And a good t will already know that. What each client needs is as unique is they are. I'm fine with my t being a support to me as I navigate the difficulties of my current life (with occasional re-visits to the past) and so is she.

unaluna · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:20 AM

I got a new antenna channel recently, Wdbl - Dabble? - it shows martha stewart reruns and designer shows. Right now im watching a Flip this house show, and it was a deserted house that cats took over, so theres a cat in almost every shot, giving the flippers the stink eye, like what are you doing in my house!

unaluna · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:24 AM

Yeah precaryous. I get you. They cant change the past. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. What kills me is that other people dont see that the twig didnt bend itself.

stopdog · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:26 AM

Is it arbor day? When is arbor day?
For some reason I thought it was in the fall -but I realize that would not make sense to plant trees in fall.
Just checked - April

What difference would it make to other people what happened to the tree?

unaluna · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:46 AM

Im tryin to party with the other trees, but i party weird.

stopdog · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:49 AM

Are you the party hearty sort?

Lemoncake · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I haven't brushed my teeth or hair since Thursday. I should probably get on that.

That's something many other people will also struggle with.

Is your T back yet?

Lemoncake · Oct 13, 2019 at 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

“May the bridges I burn light the way!”

I love this!

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Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

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Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 12, 2019 at 11:34 PM #41 Thanks NP. I don't know what the answer is.

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,806 7 6,349 hugs given	Oct 12, 2019 at 11:43 PM #42 I wish there was some (peri)menopause hotline one could call to complain about one's body and get some reassurance that everything is within tolerances. My (male) therapist seems okay with talking about these issues, but, boy, is it weird.

SheHulk07 Magnate Member Since Oct 2013 Location: CO Posts: 2,305 10 871 hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 12:59 AM #43 Thank you guys. I havent crafted in forever, but wanted to do their costumes again this year. I bought the dresses but adding some things to them. Started adding to one dress tonight, will probably finish it tomorrow hopefully.

StressedMess Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2014 Location: Usa Posts: 3,068 9 589 hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 03:39 AM #44 Why, precisely, am I awake at 4:30 am? Ugh. Hugs for Art and anyone else who needs one.

Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 10:59 AM #51 An old friend I haven't seen in 20 years got in touch with me, which seemed fine at first, but it has turned into a walk down a very crappy portion of memory lane, crappier even than I realized at the time or than I've been letting myself remember. Monday therapy session got postponed to Tuesday so I am just stuck on my own with this ****.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,841 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 11:20 AM #54 I got a new antenna channel recently, Wdbl - Dabble? - it shows martha stewart reruns and designer shows. Right now im watching a Flip this house show, and it was a deserted house that cats took over, so theres a cat in almost every shot, giving the flippers the stink eye, like what are you doing in my house!

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,841 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 11:24 AM #55 Yeah precaryous. I get you. They cant change the past. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. What kills me is that other people dont see that the twig didnt bend itself.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,841 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 11:46 AM #57 Im tryin to party with the other trees, but i party weird.

stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,726 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Oct 13, 2019 at 11:49 AM #58 Are you the party hearty sort? __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.