Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

Oct 16, 2019 at 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

If tomorrow goes badly then you may have your answer. I hope it doesn't but at least if you see her again you may have a better idea whether you can work with her anymore or you're just flogging that proverbial dead horse.

Thanks lonely. That's what I'm looking for.

stopdog · Oct 16, 2019 at 11:04 AM

Sometimes watching it is like watching the plot of a shakespearean comedy. If one would just stop knee-jerk reacting in either direction (note I am talking about the action - not the emotion), it might make it easier to make a rational decision rather than one based on extreme emotional response whether good or bad combined with an often misguided belief in mind-reading. (I believe all attempts at mind reading are misguided). It does not play out just with the therapist from descriptions of other interactions.
Just a thought.

Oct 16, 2019 at 11:20 AM

I'm an emotional person, it's who I am. I guess I don't know how to be any other way.

JaneTennison1 · Oct 16, 2019 at 11:47 AM

I feel like on friends when Chandler keeps repeating "I wanna quit the gym" to try and get himself to do it.

I want this T break. I need it, my OH needs it. Why is it so hard to do?

NP_Complete · Oct 16, 2019 at 11:55 AM

The last time P was on vacation, he sent me an unexpected email or two. Just a few lines to let me know he was thinking of me. I wish he would do that again on this trip.

Lemoncake · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

The last time P was on vacation, he sent me an unexpected email or two. Just a few lines to let me know he was thinking of me. I wish he would do that again on this trip.

Awww I think that's a nice thing of him to have done to let you know he was still there.

I hope you can mention it when you have your next scheduled call.

SlumberKitty · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:14 PM

Hi Couchies, I put some ice on my shoulder last night and some aspercream. I was looking for icy hot but I couldn't find any of that, so I used what we had in the house. It does feel a little better today. I can feel a couple of big knots in my muscles. I came into work early because I had to do payroll today and do the payables. Payroll is done but payables take a while because it is a lot of back and forth with the controller. I have T tonight and I'm anxious about it. I hope it isn't as bizarre as last time. I hope she is back to her regular self. I'm debating whether or not to say anything about it. But part of me is waiting to see how she is tonight. I'm definitely anxious....HUGS to anyone who wants. Kit

Lemoncake · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:16 PM

At my school, very few students actually turn up to lectures- for psychiatry today there were only 5 of us with the shrink we call the "crazy guy".We had him in third year for psychology. He told me that he liked me because I was human.

( I made a joke about not remembering the 80/90s.)

He also noticed that I smiled when he said personality disorders, and asked why?

I said that I liked personality disorders.

We were also taking about emotional regulation.

Lemoncake · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi Couchies, I put some ice on my shoulder last night and some aspercream. I was looking for icy hot but I couldn't find any of that, so I used what we had in the house. It does feel a little better today. I can feel a couple of big knots in my muscles. I came into work early because I had to do payroll today and do the payables. Payroll is done but payables take a while because it is a lot of back and forth with the controller. I have T tonight and I'm anxious about it. I hope it isn't as bizarre as last time. I hope she is back to her regular self. I'm debating whether or not to say anything about it. But part of me is waiting to see how she is tonight. I'm definitely anxious....HUGS to anyone who wants. Kit

I hope you can bring up what happened with her last time.

In my pharmacy we sold Epsom salts which were said to help with achy muscles.

atisketatasket · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I'm an emotional person, it's who I am. I guess I don't know how to be any other way.

But that doesn’t mean the emotions have to control you, right?

The point is not to stymie the emotions. It’s to synthesize them with rational behavior and thought to create the self.

Lemoncake · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

I feel like on friends when Chandler keeps repeating "I wanna quit the gym" to try and get himself to do it.

I want this T break. I need it, my OH needs it. Why is it so hard to do?

I don't have answers but I do understand.

How long have you been on your break for?

Lemoncake · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I'm an emotional person, it's who I am. I guess I don't know how to be any other way.

You don't have to be any other way.

I cry watching movies.

atisketatasket · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You don't have to be any other way.

I cry watching movies.

Crying at movies isn’t being controlled by emotions. I wouldn’t even call it being emotional. I’d call it normal.

I mean, even SD got sentimental over the Danish prince’s speech.

LostOnTheTrail · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:32 PM

Part of the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is by the time I need it, I don't know what to say. Session tomorrow is going to be intense, and I'm going to have to try and stay calm and OK to get through Friday.

JaneTennison1 · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I don't have answers but I do understand.

How long have you been on your break for?

just a few weeks but it's because of vacations not an actual break, the real trick will be cancelling my next appointment

SlumberKitty · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Part of the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is by the time I need it, I don't know what to say. Session tomorrow is going to be intense, and I'm going to have to try and stay calm and OK to get through Friday.

I hope your session goes well @LostOnTheTrail I do that too, where by the time it gets to session I don't know what to say. I hope your week goes well. Lots of Hugs Kit

Oct 16, 2019 at 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

But that doesn’t mean the emotions have to control you, right?

The point is not to stymie the emotions. It’s to synthesize them with rational behavior and thought to create the self.

Ok so thinking about this that way: to me, I was being rational last week at first in telling L that I no longer felt the need to come weekly and asking for reduced sessions. The problem was when she argued with me about it and I reacted emotionally by saying then I guess I'm leaving therapy because I don't want to come every week. What would a rational response have looked like? I'm really asking here, because I don't know.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:53 PM

Your rational response would probably depend on the reason she gave for arguing with you about weekly sessions. Is this when she said you have intimacy problems or is this something else? Rationally I would probably have said 'I understand you don't agree about this, but I really don't feel at this time I need weekly sessions and would rather come fortnightly/monthly.' Then cue for her response.

NP_Complete · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Awww I think that's a nice thing of him to have done to let you know he was still there.

I hope you can mention it when you have your next scheduled call.

If I would't feel so pathetic doing it, I would send him an email asking if he's still there.

I answered a question on reddit about emotional abuse and inadvertently triggered myself. He was there through all that **** and I feel so attached to him.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 16, 2019 at 12:57 PM

If she refuses to see it your way it would be exceptionally hard not to get drawn into the emotion but you could say something like 'Look T, I really want to find a compromise. I know you don't agree but I'm paying for these sessions and want to see how I get on with fewer. If you refuse to see me any less I will have to just terminate now and I really don't want that.'

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Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

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Anonymous43207 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 16, 2019 at 11:20 AM #283 I'm an emotional person, it's who I am. I guess I don't know how to be any other way.

JaneTennison1 Magnate Member Since Aug 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,202 9 121 hugs given	Oct 16, 2019 at 11:47 AM #284 I feel like on friends when Chandler keeps repeating "I wanna quit the gym" to try and get himself to do it. I want this T break. I need it, my OH needs it. Why is it so hard to do?

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,804 7 6,349 hugs given	Oct 16, 2019 at 11:55 AM #285 The last time P was on vacation, he sent me an unexpected email or two. Just a few lines to let me know he was thinking of me. I wish he would do that again on this trip.