How late have you called your T

SheHulk07 · Oct 14, 2019 at 02:17 AM

Like it says, how late have you called your T if they allow between session contact? Did they answer or call you back or did they wait until the next time they saw you to discuss what you needed? Or do they refer you to the crisis lines if it's after hours? I know it's different for everyone and only my T can answer when it's acceptable to call. Which he's been vague about and just said it doesn't matter when I call because hed rather me call than SH. But he also doesn't pick up right away or call back immediately so I worry if I call later than say 6pm that it'll be too late. He has called me back as late as 9-10pm , but I've never called him in the middle of the night. Instead I try to use the crisis lines even though they're not always the most helpful. Just wanted to see others' experiences.

sarahsweets · Oct 14, 2019 at 03:54 AM

My old t never allowed after hours contact and i am surprised yours did.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 14, 2019 at 04:18 AM

There was only one t that I called in between sessions and she didnt specify boundaries. I called at 8 30pm once and she answered- she wasnt impressed in all fairness but I was very upset and crying so she spoke to me. I would never call a t after 9pm no matter what. My current t has said I can call but never have as she responds to texts and that is enough usually. But if I did call 8 or 9 would be my cut off, probably 8, unless of course she specified earlier.

LonesomeTonight · Oct 14, 2019 at 06:32 AM

I called ex-MC at 2 a.m. once. Had to call twice, but he answered and talked to me for a few minutes. I think I called ex-T at maybe 10 p.m. once and she talked to me for a bit. Current T doesn't do non-scheduled phone calls (though I can text and request a brief one if crisis), and I think he said he turns his phone off at maybe 9:30 pm? So I've never called (or texted) him late because I assume he just wouldn't get the call till the morning. I have emailed at all hours though, and he once replied to my email at 10 p.m. on a Friday--he said later it was because he was particularly concerned about me that night.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 14, 2019 at 06:37 AM

It's funny as my current T text me once around 11pm to ask something about payment and another time she replied to a text at 4.30am. I don't think she sleeps well. It's nice though as I get the sense she's always around.

ElectricManatee · Oct 14, 2019 at 07:51 AM

My calls go straight to a voicemail line, so I've never worried too much about what time it is. (Although if it's really late and I'm tired, I usually go to bed before I call to see if I just feel better in the morning.) I think the latest I have called is 10:30 PM. My T said that she had gotten the message that night but thought I sounded like I would be okay if she waited until the next day to call back, which I was and she did. I get the sense that my T is a bit of a night owl anyway.

SheHulk07 · Oct 14, 2019 at 08:20 AM

It's nice to hear mine isn't the only one who has offered to be called anytime. I didn't take it up thos weekend since I always feel like it can wait until the next time I see him.

feileacan · Oct 14, 2019 at 09:16 AM

I once called about 9.30pm and the T did not answer. But he was near the phone and instead he just rejected the call. That has been the latest I have called.

Now I do not generally call at all anymore or only when there's an urgent scheduling issue that needs to be discussed. But few years ago when I needed to contact him between sessions we had a general agreement that I will call before 6pm.

Lemoncake · Oct 14, 2019 at 09:40 AM

I think the latest for me has been around 12.30am but we actually don't usually talk on the phone. Max I've called him twice in three years.

ArtleyWilkins · Oct 14, 2019 at 09:46 AM

We only ever used phone calls for contact outside of session. There were occasional rare times when I called him or my pdoc in an emergency. Both had answering services that would forward my request for a call back to them, and they would get back to me quickly.

I tried to be sure any phone calls happened before bedtime, but I think once or twice (over the course of a decade) I called later because I was physically unsafe. They wanted and expected me to call; they would have not been happy with me if I didn't call and ended up hurting myself.

Usually these kinds of phone calls were 10 minutes or so, enough to let them know what was going on and for them to assess how to proceed. Normally they helped me find a strategy for getting through until the morning, but I believe once they had me go to the hospital.

nottrustin · Oct 14, 2019 at 09:57 AM

I have never called my Ts. Although, I believe they both except phones calls but I dont know if they have/had time preferences. I only emailed T and did so at all hours knowing her sleep or personal life would not be disturbed.

I text Emdr T I dont think I have ever done so after 8pm but I also now know she does not automatically receive any messages to her work number

Elio · Oct 14, 2019 at 11:48 AM

I had a really rough night once and called her 3 times throughout that night all between the hours of midnight and 5 am. She didn't answer on any of the calls. I didn't expect her to answer. I expected only to leave voicemails. I did feel bad because the first 2 calls rang several times before voicemail and the last one went directly to voicemail. She said it was fine. I still worry that the change in phone behavior meant I woke her and she turned off her phone.

velcro003 · Oct 14, 2019 at 12:55 PM

I don’t think i’ve ever called past 7 or 8pm, and she has called back latest at 9 or so. She said 10 is the latest she’ll reply or call back..

SlumberKitty · Oct 14, 2019 at 04:31 PM

I think the latest I ever called my former T was maybe 7 PM. I have emailed her at all hours but I don't think that is very intrusive because she can pick up her emails whenever it is convenient. I have never called current T.

Oct 14, 2019 at 05:55 PM

we have talked after midnight to four in the morning.

GeekyOne · Oct 14, 2019 at 06:34 PM

I don't call or text my T after 9pm. It's my boundary, not hers. The only time I wavered from that was when I was overseas - but still didn't reach out to her after 9pm her time.

She has called me back and we've talked until after 10pm. It's rare, mostly because I am usually in bed by then (I start work at 6.30am).

malika138 · Oct 14, 2019 at 08:23 PM

With previous two T's, before text and email, I would call. But never outside of business hours. T's are effective when they have balance in their lives, and we cannot be calling at all hours.I guess I am sensitive to work-related people reaching out to me in the evenings. I'm more comfortable now having email because T can respond when she can. And I can email at all hours.

I also can relate to not knowing what to do when I am in a bad spot. Text crisis lines are mechanical. Voice support lines - some are better than others. I always feel like I am overreacting when I go to the ED, even when I end up getting admitted.

I'm spoiled because T typically responds within 2 hours to email.

chihirochild · Oct 15, 2019 at 10:26 AM

I've had a number of Ts with various approaches to phone calls.

No 1: Accepted calls at all times of day/night. I called her several times; I think the latest was like 10pm once when I was having an especially hard time.

No 2/3 (they were a set, a pdoc and a therapist that worked together): 2 (the pdoc) didn't allow phone calls at all. 3 had a clinical cell that went right to voicemail and she'd call you back during business hours. Neither of them allowed email, which was a real disadvantage to me, as I have an easier time working through some things in writing.

No 4 (current): Allows phone calls but told me he goes to bed at 10pm. I've only ever called him after texting him first, and I've made sure to text before like 9pm so that I don't disrupt his evening. (He has kids, I assume he has to do bedtime and that kind of thing.)

That being said, I've contacted the crisis line late at night approximately a kazillion times.

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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 03:54 AM #2 My old t never allowed after hours contact and i am surprised yours did. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 06:37 AM #5 It's funny as my current T text me once around 11pm to ask something about payment and another time she replied to a text at 4.30am. I don't think she sleeps well. It's nice though as I get the sense she's always around.
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SheHulk07 Magnate Member Since Oct 2013 Location: CO Posts: 2,305 10 871 hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 08:20 AM #7 It's nice to hear mine isn't the only one who has offered to be called anytime. I didn't take it up thos weekend since I always feel like it can wait until the next time I see him.
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 09:40 AM #9 I think the latest for me has been around 12.30am but we actually don't usually talk on the phone. Max I've called him twice in three years. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 12:55 PM #13 I don’t think i’ve ever called past 7 or 8pm, and she has called back latest at 9 or so. She said 10 is the latest she’ll reply or call back..
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Oct 14, 2019 at 04:31 PM #14 I think the latest I ever called my former T was maybe 7 PM. I have emailed her at all hours but I don't think that is very intrusive because she can pick up her emails whenever it is convenient. I have never called current T. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 14, 2019 at 05:55 PM #15 we have talked after midnight to four in the morning.
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GeekyOne Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: USA Posts: 210 6	Oct 14, 2019 at 06:34 PM #16 I don't call or text my T after 9pm. It's my boundary, not hers. The only time I wavered from that was when I was overseas - but still didn't reach out to her after 9pm her time. She has called me back and we've talked until after 10pm. It's rare, mostly because I am usually in bed by then (I start work at 6.30am).
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