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Omers
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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 01:42 PM
  #1
Ok so T feels horrible, he is going to be out of the office the entire month of November... and forgot to tell me until yesterday. He has come up with a couple ideas and is open to phone session but he knows I hate the phone... so... what has been most helpful to you when there has been a long absence from T?

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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 02:00 PM
  #2
Oh wow, that's a long time. When my former T would go out of the country, we would email. It was helpful. Also, I would plan something nice and special for myself during the time I would usually see her, so it made it feel like I was still being cared about while T was away. Maybe you could try something like that...and remember you always have us on PC! HUGS Kit

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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 02:39 PM
  #3
I have not seen my massage therapist in forever so I am thinking of getting in with her. My work schedule kept conflicting with her availability but I’ve had to leave work so that’s an option!!

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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 03:13 PM
  #4
Ugh, that's a long time...Would something like Skype or Facetime be an option that might feel better than the phone because you could see him? Another thought is if he has any backup T's. I've found seeing one to be helpful when T was out of town even for just 10 days. I know it can seem hard to trust someone new and might seem pointless to see someone for just a few sessions, but I found it to be helpful. See if your T has anyone backing him up or if he has any names for you. Otherwise, I agree with self-care things like a massage, exercise (walks, yoga class, etc.), doing something creative--I know you do sewing/craft stuff, things like that.
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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 03:26 PM
  #5
Some wholesome suggestions here. I usually just get drunk for a month.
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Omers
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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 04:11 PM
  #6
I have a quilt I am working on that is emotionally connected to him so I am sure I will spend lots of time with that too.
Unfortunately when I drink I get sad and cuddly so that would just add to the mess with T gone.

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Default Oct 15, 2019 at 08:47 PM
  #7
T and I took a picture together before her last absence. She also records a message for me that I can listen to while she’s gone. And we exchange emails about once per week.

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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 12:28 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow? View Post
T and I took a picture together before her last absence. She also records a message for me that I can listen to while she’s gone. And we exchange emails about once per week.
Yeah former T used to leave me a voicemail. That was very helpful!

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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 01:17 PM
  #9
Dont think there is one good answer. I love some of these suggestions.

For me, its lots of wine
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 01:41 PM
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What works changes day by day.
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 03:21 PM
  #11
I don't think a lot of drinking is good self-care or coping. In my case it was usually me being out of town, but I emailed and had phone sessions with my Ts. I don't like the phone very much either but gave it a chance also to push something I would rather avoid. Was surprised to find that the phone sessions were not really less effective than in person, but only with one T. With the other one I did not like to talk on the phone and never had full sessions that way. If you don't like talking but want something more direct and real time than email, maybe try texting or an instant messaging platform.
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 03:29 PM
  #12
There's also the option of a transitional object, but I feel like maybe you already have one of those from your T?
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 03:41 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by Xynesthesia2 View Post
I don't think a lot of drinking is good self-care or coping
Ding, ding! You spotted the joke!
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Default Oct 16, 2019 at 06:26 PM
  #14
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
There's also the option of a transitional object, but I feel like maybe you already have one of those from your T?
I have a weighted lap pad that I made from fabrics that made me think of him which I use, well, daily. I am thinking of making a blanket or something that I can leave in his office next week and then pick up the following week. Then I would have something that smelled like his office.

He knows this is going to be super hard on me so he is pretty open to anything reasonable for me to be able to maintain the connection.

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There’s been many a crooked path
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Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
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