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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
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Oct 16, 2019 at 08:52 AM
#1
I had a hard time staying focused in my session yesturday, my train of thought was very scattered, i really hope she does not give up on me like the last therapist did. I think im trying too hard to not loose my therapist. I was talking about some very upsetting things i have a hard time letting myself cry.
I also am focusing too much on the diagnoses of ptsd complex. I have a habit of doing that. I didn't know at the time but thinking about the session i need to let it go and just work through it, without trying to get it right or perfect. I had a lousy t before her and i'm trying so hard to work hard so that they wont close my file. She has never brought up closing my file and yesturday her smile and composer did not change. I am way too hard on myself. Can anyone else relate or have been through something simaliar? I feel kind of fustrated with myself. I really feel i can trust her and im sharing at a deeper level. It really helps to bring my journal and seeing her every 3 weeks instead of 5 weeks. Sessions are 90mins compared to 40mins long. |
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 guilloche, malika138, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Europe
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Oct 16, 2019 at 12:10 PM
#2
I can relate. I had a session on Monday and i was unable to think or talk. I was frozen, doodling on paper, not cooperative. I finished the session early - for the first time in 2 years.
I was afraid she thought i was sulking so i messaged her that I'm not angry, that i simply couldn't talk. Terrible. __________________ Complex trauma Highly sensitive person I love nature, simplicity and minimalism |
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| guilloche, SlumberKitty, Taylor27
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 Taylor27
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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Oct 16, 2019 at 12:17 PM
#3
I've definitely had sessions like that. Former T was great and she was very patient with me. She always told me: you're doing the best you can. Even if I was dissociated. Or even if I was scattered. Or even if I was not very talkative. I imagine it is the same for you. You did the very best you could. I think your T would be proud of you for doing as well as you did. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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| seeker33, Taylor27
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guilloche, Taylor27
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given
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Oct 16, 2019 at 12:20 PM
#4
I am tempted to call her and apologize for losing my train of thought and losing focus. I do not want to bother her unless i really need help. I will write here and journal and wait til i see her and it might be better to wait to discuss it in session.
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| seeker33, SlumberKitty
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given
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Oct 17, 2019 at 07:19 AM
#5
Thank you i'm feel allot better today it helped writing on here and getting support. I did not call her i will wait til i see her in 3 weeks. Not every session will be easy but as long as i'm trying it will be okay.
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| seeker33, SlumberKitty
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seeker33
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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Oct 17, 2019 at 10:01 AM
#6
HUGS @Cheryl27 I'm glad you are feeling a lot better today. Sometimes it is good to not react but to sit on the feelings for a while and see how they shift and change with our perspective. Well done. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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| Taylor27
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
given
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Oct 17, 2019 at 10:06 AM
#7
Quote:
I try to give myself time to see if my feelings will change. When i feel overwhelmed sometimes it's better to distract and try to figure it out. If i cannot seem to or it goes to a very dark place i will reach out for help, not easy to do all the time. Hugs |
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| SlumberKitty
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