Do you think an emotional wound can heal?

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 17, 2019 at 01:23 AM

L and I were talking about this today. I'm curious about what others think.

Ex-T had me read a book: Waking the Tiger. In the book it says: "When a young tree is injured it grows around the injury. As the tree continues to develop, the wound becomes relatively small in proportion to the size of the tree. Gnarly burls and misshapen limbs speak of injuries and obstacles encountered through time and overcome. The way a tree grows around its past contributes to its exquisite individuality, character, and beauty…” (33).

I was also taught that wounds are like creaters on the earth. You can't build on them, but you can build around them. And the more you build, the smaller the creater seems.

L asked me if I thought wounds could be healed. I'm not sure. I don't know what that would even look like.

Breaking Dawn · Oct 17, 2019 at 02:09 AM

The part about how young trees grow around their wounds is a beautiful metaphor. Thank you for sharing it. I will always remember that.

I voted that wounds can heal. But I guess they just get smaller with time.

Out There · Oct 17, 2019 at 02:11 AM

I voted yes , it's getting the emotional charge away from something , if you can think about it like you would another memory. But it takes time and work.

Oct 17, 2019 at 02:43 AM

I voted maybe. Emotional wounds are attatched to memory and cognition. The coping skills treatments only cover cognition. You may be able to tame your emotional wounds, but the memories remain. You may not be as emotionally triggered over time, but the memories and emotions remain. You can rebuild happier memories and emotions, and you may be more positive, but there will still be emotional residue.

Lonelyinmyheart · Oct 17, 2019 at 05:02 AM

Absolutely you can. Over time, you might still feel a little sad when you remember a difficult event, but it doesn't break your heart anymore.

Oct 17, 2019 at 06:10 AM

I can tolerate the wound now. Healed? Think there'll always be times when I'm Brought back to the wound. But the reaction changes. Lessens.

ArtleyWilkins · 07:14 AM

Absolutely.

I wouldn't have thought so though until I saw it happening for me, but it did, finally.

I wouldn't confuse "healing" with "curing," however. It isn't like I've forgotten or that I don't on occasion become incensed when something currently pulls up something old. But that's just normal emotion as far as I see it. No longer do those memories hold power over me in my present. I don't even think of those old wounds as scars anymore like I used to, which I hadn't thought about until now. I don't feel scarred.

LostOnTheTrail · Oct 17, 2019 at 09:33 AM

I voted Other. I love Waking the Tiger, and Peter Levine's work in general. I have experienced being 'shaken to the core' by traumatic experiences...

As for 'Can an emotional wound heal?' - I think it depends very much on the nature of the precipitating event. I can hardly believe I'm writing this, but...having had experience of both, I really believe that bereavement has been 'easier' to cope with than betrayal.

I think 'healing' from something is about being able to talk about it with less 'affect'....I acknowledge the fact that my friend Chris' death still hurts, but it doesn't bring me to my knees in the same way as it did...although there are a couple of difficult days.

Taylor27 · Oct 17, 2019 at 10:15 AM

Absolutely, I would not be in therapy if i did not think it was possible to heal emotional wounds. It's possible to feel stuck and impossible at times, patience is what im learning in the process. I firmly believe that it takes time and effort to overcome behaviors, and unwanted emotions. For me grief has been the biggest obstacle in my healing.

SlumberKitty · Oct 17, 2019 at 10:22 AM

I think absolutely yes. It takes time and work and patience. Patience with the self, patience with others, patience with the memories, and emotions. I think there are obstacles in healing but I think they can be overcome. Some people I know have been through absolutely horrible, horrendous things and they have come out of it all the more beautiful and open and healthy.

Breaking Dawn · Oct 17, 2019 at 11:43 AM

This is a wonderful thread, & I have heard from some beautiful people, which makes me love PC even more.

Amyjay · Oct 17, 2019 at 02:09 PM

Yes, of course. Our species would be a complete failure if we couldn't.

Amyjay · Oct 17, 2019 at 02:12 PM

When a wound heals the scab can no longer be ripped off to leave it open and oozing once again. Infection can no longer get in to the wound. The scab has gone and leaves a scar in its place. The scar still exists, but the wound has healed. Just like the tree, the body has found a way to continue to grow, develop and become what it is meant to be, in spite of the injury.

happysobercrafter · Oct 17, 2019 at 04:17 PM

Absolutely!! I am living proof of emotional healing. Initially, when I faced my true feelings produced by my emotional injuries my family members burdened me with, I began to heal at my deepest level. It took time and I had to carefully pace myself through that and today, I still work on any remaining wounds I have that surface.

I emerged stronger, healthier, and happier. The best part is being able to think and TALK about what hurt me without it crippling me. I might tear up, but I keep moving forward.

That alone is a HUGE blessing to share!

hopealwayz · Oct 17, 2019 at 05:22 PM

This is a very insightful thread. I’ve been thinking about this a lot today and it is good to read everyone’s thoughts.

TishaBuv · Oct 17, 2019 at 05:34 PM

I’ve had very painful emotional wounds and feel mostly healed. They made me stronger to endure a new much more painful wound! Miraculously, I am coping with the worse hurt in a far healthier way.

divine1966 · Oct 17, 2019 at 05:43 PM

When my daughter lost her husband under very tragic circumstances, she thought she’ll never heal. In fact I thought I’d never heal after that either. That bad it was.

But here she is, thriving. No it’s not like it went away, it never will. Yes scar is there and always will be but like someone said the wound isn’t oozing and there is no obvious scab.

Life goes on and she is doing very well. Saying that there were several things she did in the process of healing: bereavement therapy, support groups for people in exactly same boat, keeping close circle of friends, maintaining her faith etc etc It didnt happen all on its own

tikatikadoom · Oct 17, 2019 at 09:45 PM

Like everyone else, I like the wound - scar metaphor. There will always be a scar, but it doesn't have to be a festering infected wound! I have many wounds, some big, some small, and with my T I have healed many. I look back on them now with a clearness. Acceptance I guess. They are there, it hurt, I can hurt now if I want to really go deep into remembering, but I have the choice now. I decide when I want to hurt over it. Some of them are healed so well that all I really feel is fondness for the good that came out of healing it.

Breaking Dawn · Oct 19, 2019 at 09:03 AM

Tikatikadoom, thank you. You express it very well.

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Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 02:09 AM #2 The part about how young trees grow around their wounds is a beautiful metaphor. Thank you for sharing it. I will always remember that. I voted that wounds can heal. But I guess they just get smaller with time.
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Out There Legendary Member Since Oct 2015 Location: England Posts: 11,355 (SuperPoster!) 8 14.6k hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 02:11 AM #3 I voted yes , it's getting the emotional charge away from something , if you can think about it like you would another memory. But it takes time and work. __________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing "
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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 05:02 AM #5 Absolutely you can. Over time, you might still feel a little sad when you remember a difficult event, but it doesn't break your heart anymore.
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Anonymous48807 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 17, 2019 at 06:10 AM #6 I can tolerate the wound now. Healed? Think there'll always be times when I'm Brought back to the wound. But the reaction changes. Lessens.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 10:15 AM #9 Absolutely, I would not be in therapy if i did not think it was possible to heal emotional wounds. It's possible to feel stuck and impossible at times, patience is what im learning in the process. I firmly believe that it takes time and effort to overcome behaviors, and unwanted emotions. For me grief has been the biggest obstacle in my healing.
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Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 11:43 AM #11 This is a wonderful thread, & I have heard from some beautiful people, which makes me love PC even more.
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Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 02:09 PM #12 Yes, of course. Our species would be a complete failure if we couldn't.
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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 05:22 PM #15 This is a very insightful thread. I’ve been thinking about this a lot today and it is good to read everyone’s thoughts.
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,189 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,870 hugs given	Oct 17, 2019 at 05:34 PM #16 I’ve had very painful emotional wounds and feel mostly healed. They made me stronger to endure a new much more painful wound! Miraculously, I am coping with the worse hurt in a far healthier way. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Oct 19, 2019 at 09:03 AM #19 Tikatikadoom, thank you. You express it very well.
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