First impressions

Omers · Oct 20, 2019 at 10:00 AM

What do you remember about your first session with your T?

1st T I remember feeling totally trapped
2nd T I remember asking me about the worst of my trauma 10 minutes into the session
3rd T I remember rules, rules, rules...
4th T I remember thinking she’d make a great Kindergarten teacher
5th T I remember her trying to be nurturing too soon

Current T... I remember everything about his waiting room, him and his office saying “you are safe here” while Hotel California was playing in the waiting area

stopdog · Oct 20, 2019 at 10:03 AM

I remember the first woman coming up too close while I was filling out the paper work and holding her hand out. I moved away and made her wait until I finished before I shook her hand.

chihirochild · Oct 20, 2019 at 10:06 AM

My current T seemed energetic and disorganized. He interviewed me for 45 minutes in one room, then had to switch rooms due to a meeting that was taking place in the original room. At the end of the interview he went to offer me his business card, then realized he didn't have one on him; he ended up writing his info on one of *my* business cards, which seemed the height of hilarity to me at the time.

LonesomeTonight · Oct 20, 2019 at 10:08 AM

Ex-T...hm, trying to remember honestly (it was 8 years ago!) She gave me a super-long form to fill out before the next session with things like, "What was your most shameful moment in the past?"

Ex-MC...how personable and warm he was and how much he self-disclosed even then. That he was kind of goofy.

Current T...my first thought upon seeing him open the door was honestly, "Oh ****, he's attractive in person, too. Did I make a terrible mistake?" (I later told him this, and he was amused and said he hoped, "Uh-oh, I hope I didn't make a terrible mistake" was how most people responded to meeting him!) How he was amused by some of my answers on the intake form (like for exercise, "Not much now, but we're getting a dog soon, so I'll be walking more then.") That his office felt really calming. That he seemed to have good insights about me just from the first session.

LostOnTheTrail · Oct 20, 2019 at 10:13 AM

First session with P was a cluster****...whilst the first session with R made me feel heard and understood.

Oct 20, 2019 at 12:21 PM

T1: I was there maybe 30 minutes before I stormed out cuz he was an a-hole. I don't recall anything else.

T2: I felt closed in, could never really talk to her for the 6 months or so I tried, and it was a very small office which might have had something to do with that.

T3/ex-t as of last week: that was in her 1st office, it was very white, but as warm and inviting as was she. Big enough space that I didn't feel closed in. I immediately felt at home with her.

Oct 20, 2019 at 12:27 PM

I remember feeling relieved
I remember feeling nervous.
I remember all my fantasys being sparked.
I remember feeling safe.
I remember T being the first person ever to have an understanding of things I didn't at that point.

NP_Complete · Oct 20, 2019 at 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

"What was your most shameful moment in the past?"

What kind of question is that to put on a form? I wouldn't have answered it. That's more like the kind of thing that comes out organically as you get to know each other.

ArtleyWilkins · Oct 20, 2019 at 01:50 PM

1st: Very kind, calming, welcoming
2nd: Intuitive, very intuitive
3rd: He "got" me right away

velcro003 · Oct 20, 2019 at 08:31 PM

T1: I left going "Do I really want to go again? Is this how therapy goes?" And stayed with those thoughts for 5 years!

T2/Current T: OMG, she understood me right away. Wow.

koru_kiwi · Oct 21, 2019 at 12:45 AM

T1: completely blindsided my within the first 20 mins by bluntly asking me if i had been sexually abused as a child.

T2: picked up on and pointed out my (covert) habit of pinching at my skin to help me keep grounded and not dissociate, which impressed me at the time because no one else had ever said anything or told me they noticed i was doing it.

T3 (neurofeedback T): i left his session in tears of absolute relief and a rekindled sense of hope of finally being able to heal, because in just over an hour of meeting him he understood, validated, and believed me better than all the years i spent with T1 or T2 trying to explain my experiences of the reactions to my early childhood traumas.

Echos Myron redux · Oct 21, 2019 at 01:30 AM

I don't really remember my first session in any detail but I wrote on PC that he was "nice, and attentive". I was very attached to my first therapist at the time, and I think I felt he didn't have the same warmth and jollyness that T1 had. I viewed a lot through the lens of comparison I guess.
He showed me his notes for the first ever session. I told him loads and loads about my history. I don't remember telling him any of it that day, I thought I had mostly talked about T1.

comrademoomoo · Oct 21, 2019 at 10:40 AM

I remember thinking her room was small and that she was old. We have moved into a bigger room now, but she's still old. Even older than she was I suppose. She seemed warm and steady. She's not steady and she's more bossy than warm. In fact, I wonder if I am even seeing the same bloody therapist...

Xynesthesia2 · Oct 21, 2019 at 11:14 AM

With first T, I was talking about 98% of the time and he contributed very little. Also answered a phone call and spoke with the caller what felt too long. I'm really not sure why I went back to him... was inexperienced I guess, didn't know what to expect and wish for.

Second T almost the opposite, he talked a lot about himself, talked more than I did and not even because I asked many questions. I recall being concerned about that but I liked him in general. I also thought he was a well-read and attractive guy.

There were a few more I only saw once because I had very negative impressions.

SarahSweden · Oct 21, 2019 at 05:51 PM

Interesting question.

First T: I think I thought of her as warm and kind, perhaps a bit firm but nice.

Second T: I thought she was uncaring and dressed ugly. I didn´t like that she smelled of cigarette smoke. I never thought of her as warm and I should have ended it with her much sooner than I did.

Third T: I liked her from the beginning, she was like a friend or mother and I still miss her, every day.

Fourth T: I saw her just for evaluation sessions as I didn´t like her. I disliked her from the beginning as she looked gnarly when she first met with me. She more or less just questioned me, she didn´t validate me.

Fifth T: I just now ended it with her after five sessions. She works at the same place as my fourth T and showed similar behavior towards me. She almost never smiled, she wasn´t validating and she mostly just focused on the negatives.

nottrustin · Oct 21, 2019 at 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omers

What do you remember about your first session with your T?

1st T I remember feeling totally trapped
2nd T I remember asking me about the worst of my trauma 10 minutes into the session
3rd T I remember rules, rules, rules...
4th T I remember thinking she’d make a great Kindergarten teacher
5th T I remember her trying to be nurturing too soon

Current T... I remember everything about his waiting room, him and his office saying “you are safe here” while Hotel California was playing in the waiting area

College T: too long ago but I do remember being really nervous.

T: She seemed really nice, motherly and professional. I remember feeling comfortable with her

Consulted EMDR T: I felt like she was a flake. I was concerned that she seemed more interested in telling me about herself than knowing why I was there. I scheduled another appointment reluctantly because I disbt know how to say no....T encouraged me to cancel it.

EMDR T: she seemed sweet and nice. She kept saying "awe isn't. So I stick that sweet" which kind of drove me crazy but she also seemed like we could do good work together. So I opted to stick out

Lrad123 · Oct 21, 2019 at 10:15 PM

First and only T: I had never been so nervous in my entire life. Ever. He didn’t do anything wrong, but I thought the whole therapy process was odd and I was skeptical. I was surprised that he didn’t ask questions or have me fill out any forms. I had no clue was psychodynamic therapy was. I’m still confused much of the time, but it feels intense in ways I never would have imagined and I’m still seeing him 2 years later.

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Anonymous48807 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 20, 2019 at 12:27 PM #7 I remember feeling relieved I remember feeling nervous. I remember all my fantasys being sparked. I remember feeling safe. I remember T being the first person ever to have an understanding of things I didn't at that point.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Oct 20, 2019 at 01:50 PM #9 1st: Very kind, calming, welcoming 2nd: Intuitive, very intuitive 3rd: He "got" me right away
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Oct 20, 2019 at 08:31 PM #10 T1: I left going "Do I really want to go again? Is this how therapy goes?" And stayed with those thoughts for 5 years! T2/Current T: OMG, she understood me right away. Wow.
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,714 5	Oct 21, 2019 at 10:40 AM #13 I remember thinking her room was small and that she was old. We have moved into a bigger room now, but she's still old. Even older than she was I suppose. She seemed warm and steady. She's not steady and she's more bossy than warm. In fact, I wonder if I am even seeing the same bloody therapist...
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