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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 11:20 AM
  #381
Oof. Shared an intense thing with T yesterday and am now reeling. I hate that I have to wait a week to talk with him again. Sometimes therapy really sucks.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 11:23 AM
  #382
I know that feeling very well. Hope you're able to get through it. Is journalling helpful to you?

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 11:30 AM
  #383
That’s a good idea. I think I’ll give it a try. I’ve been using this website called 750 words and I like it a lot.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 11:37 AM
  #384
Even though I am now in my early 30s, my parents sent me 2lb of candy for Halloween.

*passes the box around the couch*
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 01:31 PM
  #385
Ugh y'all I am so antsy today. I hate this so much.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 01:38 PM
  #386
It hardly ever happens, but sometimes after intense exercise, usually weight lifting, I get plunged into a fit of depression. So I’m eating mashed potatoes for comfort food.

I keep thinking about this episode early in my relationship with 2ex. I needed a little time to myself and said so, he freaked so much I felt I had to apologize, he said “I forgive you.” Red flags all over. Even at the time I found it disturbing (particularly the forgive bit because it didn’t seem like something that rose to that level for me). Should have listened to myself.

Last edited by atisketatasket; Nov 02, 2019 at 02:10 PM.. Reason: Typo
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 01:43 PM
  #387
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It hardly ever happens, but sometimes after intense exercise, usually weight lifting, I get plunged into a fit of depression. So I’m eating mashed potatoes for comfort food.
Right there with you--I'm eating Nutella on toast and watching the Gilmore Girls.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 02:05 PM
  #388
I'm an introvert and need my alone time. STBEx couldn't deal with that. He would actually take it personally if I told him I needed some time alone. Like tell me I had hurt his feelings because I wanted an hour without him. I loved reading but I basically gave it up because every time I tried to pick up a book, he would demand my attention. It may sound overly dramatic, but I feel like I lost part of myself with him. So you're not alone. Red flags are amazingly easy to not see or not give appropriate significance to.

Now I have so much alone time, it's killing me.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 02:16 PM
  #389
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I'm an introvert and need my alone time. STBEx couldn't deal with that. He would actually take it personally if I told him I needed some time alone. Like tell me I had hurt his feelings because I wanted an hour without him. I loved reading but I basically gave it up because every time I tried to pick up a book, he would demand my attention. It may sound overly dramatic, but I feel like I lost part of myself with him. So you're not alone. Red flags are amazingly easy to not see or not give appropriate significance to.

Now I have so much alone time, it's killing me.
Ditto.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 02:36 PM
  #390
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
It hardly ever happens, but sometimes after intense exercise, usually weight lifting, I get plunged into a fit of depression. So I’m eating mashed potatoes for comfort food.

I keep thinking about this episode early in my relationship with 2ex. I needed a little time to myself and said so, he freaked so much I felt I had to apologize, he said “I forgive you.” Red flags all over. Even at the time I found it disturbing (particularly the forgive bit because it didn’t seem like something that rose to that level for me). Should have listened to myself.
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Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I'm an introvert and need my alone time. STBEx couldn't deal with that. He would actually take it personally if I told him I needed some time alone. Like tell me I had hurt his feelings because I wanted an hour without him. I loved reading but I basically gave it up because every time I tried to pick up a book, he would demand my attention. It may sound overly dramatic, but I feel like I lost part of myself with him. So you're not alone. Red flags are amazingly easy to not see or not give appropriate significance to.

Now I have so much alone time, it's killing me.

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 04:57 PM
  #391
I’m out to dinner with H and there has been radio silence through this whole meal. I guess after 20 years of being together there is nothing else to say. I should have dates more. Took more risks.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 05:13 PM
  #392
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I’m out to dinner with H and there has been radio silence through this whole meal. I guess after 20 years of being together there is nothing else to say. I should have dates more. Took more risks.
It's the exact same thing with H and I. I guess that's why we rarely go out to dinner - there's just an awkwardness about it.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 05:15 PM
  #393
No wonder una preaches napping--I took one that lasted almost 3 hours and my mood is definitely improved.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #394
Having a hard time tonight. I should journal, but struggle with motivation.

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:05 PM
  #395
Red flags....I can see them in retrospect. But even now I wonder how the heck was I supposed to know before I was in so deep it was red flags and not just a needy quirks?

The n-s-(e)-t-b ex has packed his things. He’s moving when he gets back from his work trip. I’ve been cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen all day.

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:29 PM
  #396
Feeling pretty bad today. Having some SI thoughts and SH thoughts. Watching some old mysteries on TV. I did go out to lunch with a friend and her sister. And went to Target. My dog is playing with the stuffed llama I bought her today.

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:33 PM
  #397
HUGS, Kit! I didn't know you had a dog?

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:41 PM
  #398
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No wonder una preaches napping--I took one that lasted almost 3 hours and my mood is definitely improved.
Everything i know i learned from Bugs Bunny.

Im thinking of moving to Albuquerque.

Last edited by unaluna; Nov 02, 2019 at 07:10 PM..
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #399
I want to call my T so badly. I effing hate this.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 06:45 PM
  #400
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HUGS, Kit! I didn't know you had a dog?
Actually she is my Moms dog. A toy poodle, apricot colored named Emma. She is a good dog, very affectionate, and sweet natured.

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