Are you affected/attracted by what clothes your therapist is wearing?

SarahSweden · Nov 01, 2019 at 04:03 PM

I´ve seen a temporary counsellor for almost a year now. We don´t do therapy, it´s more like sessions to follow up on things.

Anyway; I´m rather interested in clothing and one thing I find interesting in meeting with my counsellor is to see how she´s dressed for the day. She´s rather plainly dressed but she has a nice figure for being almost 60, she's way slimmer than me.

She often wears slim Lee och Levis jeans and I kind of admire her for having such a body. There´s perhaps some kind of attraction but as usual out of her being kind and nice to me, not that I actually would want to be together with her.

I don´t know if she sees herself that way as she never shows that she thinks she´s special because of her body. Most staff within mental health care tend to, at least among those I´ve met with, dress down in baggy and worn down clothes. It´s nice to look at her and be inspired by that.

I assume it´s her genes as she has four children and still has a figure as if she was way younger.

Does anyone else reflect like this?

stopdog · Nov 01, 2019 at 04:56 PM

No I don't.

SlumberKitty · Nov 01, 2019 at 05:00 PM

I don't really care what my therapist is wearing one way or the other. I guess most of my therapists have been sort of generic in how they dress. A lot of black or muted colors. My current T AKA Regular T sometimes wears black flowers in her hair and I think that is freaking awesome but I don't really notice most of the time what else she is wearing.

nottrustin · Nov 01, 2019 at 05:04 PM

I notice what they wear. T for the first few years always wore professional dresses. Once some medical conditions took over she wore dress pants. She was average size and was in her late sixties.

EMDR T wears jeans almost everyday. She is very much a minimalist who wears nice but neutral colors. She says she has never been a girly girl. She is a runner and VERY physically fit. She is in her early 40's. I am jealous because of how fit she is. It inspires me to exercise more.

LonesomeTonight · Nov 01, 2019 at 05:21 PM

I pay attention to what my T wears--he's fairly fashionable, wearing well-fitting and usually printed dress shirts, plus socks with stripes or fun patterns like Super Mario Bros. (yesterday). There are certain shirts and socks that I have more positive associations with, so if he's wearing one of those, I feel better about session. Like, "Oh, he's wearing the shirt with zebras on it, this should be a good one." I also pay attention to whether he's wearing glasses--he usually just wears contacts but sometimes wears glasses, which make him look more intellectual and, honestly, more attractive to me. So it can feel a bit intimidating when he wears those (also yesterday!).

Echos Myron redux · Nov 01, 2019 at 05:49 PM

He's all cardigans and corduroy trousers. Not much to get excited about. I think it's kinda sweet and loveable though. Especially his favourite cardigan which is pink.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Nov 01, 2019 at 05:51 PM

My T used to only wear blue. Blue pants, blue shirt, and always the same two or three shirts as well.
He's also had the same blue shoes for the last three years.
About two years ago I saw him wear a red shirt once. Then it stopped again for almost a year, and now he wears that one red shirt more often. Maybe once a month.

I was definitely surprised and a bit irritated the first time he wore red. I don't necessarily think I'd have been bothered if he'd have changed his appearance in any way like that before, but after him looking essentially the same for over a year, it was a bit weird at first.
I've gotten used to it now, but I still observe what he's wearing every time.

5stacks · Nov 01, 2019 at 06:17 PM

Mine seems to wear the same thing every time which is like a blue polka dot dress, it's adorable. She's pretty cute so I guess it kind of makes me feel more comfortable.

ArtleyWilkins · Nov 01, 2019 at 08:19 PM

No, never pay much attention to it.

Amyjay · Nov 01, 2019 at 09:10 PM

No, I don't really notice. Apart from when she wears something that she obviously feels uncomfortable in... for instance, once she wore a top with a neckline that kept slipping, and she was constantly readjusting her clothing when she thought I wasn't looking. I was like... why? Put that top away and never wear it to a session again if it bothers you so much! (But she still wears it).

velcro003 · Nov 01, 2019 at 09:15 PM

I barely glance at my T, so I don't really notice what she wears.

Polibeth · Nov 01, 2019 at 09:18 PM

I've never paid attention

Rive. · Nov 02, 2019 at 06:23 AM

I notice but don't really care what they wear. That is not what affects me in session.

Lonelyinmyheart · Nov 02, 2019 at 06:31 AM

I find my t attractive and appreciate what she wears but beyond a glance when I first arrive her clothing doesnt affect me or my session at all.

nottrustin · Nov 02, 2019 at 07:51 AM

Another thing- EMDR use to wear the same 2 or 3 outfits to every appointment (as I said she is a minimalist) but lately I gave noticed she is wearing a wider variety of things. A while back she mentioned that since in the last year she has put on a little weight even though her eating and exercise habits have not changed--she thinks it is likely because she hit her 40s.. So I wonder if that is why she has a new (to me) wardrobe.

divine1966 · Nov 02, 2019 at 08:11 AM

I pay attention to what people wear because I love clothes in general. My t dresses ok. But sometimes she wears strange things like nylons with sandals. Other than that she is fine. She has exact same purse as me, i think it’s funny. It’s hanging on her door

I am not affected by it though and certainly not attracted.

SoAn · Nov 02, 2019 at 08:35 AM

I felt attracted to my t, but his clothing was a buzzkill

. He wears clothes that I find fit older men more, I didn't really like his style

Xynesthesia2 · Nov 02, 2019 at 09:33 AM

I like beauty and harmony in everything, including people. I do notice if someone obviously has a good aesthetic/fashion sense, if they are physically attractive etc. I have a tendency to be more open and motivated with people I feel attracted to (why I usually also enjoy subtle, unspoken sexual tension in relationships), but it is not a requirement of a good and productive connection. I also don't tend to feel jealous of someone who is better-looking or dressed than myself, because it's not a primary value for me and I am reasonably okay with my own body and style. When I really like someone's fashion or grooming, I more like to pick up things from them for myself. It can be a bit of a distraction if someone's style is overly harsh or a misfit for them, but it does not kill my interest at all if otherwise I like them and find value in communicating with them.

Salmon77 · Nov 02, 2019 at 09:56 AM

I notice my T's clothes but usually they're not important to me... One time he wore a baseball cap and it really bothered me because it hid his face. Another time he was wearing sandals and I just find sandals on men really unattractive (unless you're at the beach or something) so I tried not to look at his feet at all.

Sarah, you might ask about whether she exercises and what she does. Exercise has a big effect on mental health so it's worth talking about in therapy.

chihirochild · Nov 02, 2019 at 11:34 AM

My (male) T wears pretty nondescript clothes--long-sleeved shirt, tie, formal pants. I find myself looking at his socks a lot (I have a hard time looking him in the eye when we're discussing difficult things). I kind of appreciate how boring his clothes are--it's comforting.

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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,730 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 04:56 PM #2 No I don't. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,160 6 1,833 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 05:49 PM #6 He's all cardigans and corduroy trousers. Not much to get excited about. I think it's kinda sweet and loveable though. Especially his favourite cardigan which is pink.
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5stacks Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Birmingham, Uk Posts: 171 4 60 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 06:17 PM #8 Mine seems to wear the same thing every time which is like a blue polka dot dress, it's adorable. She's pretty cute so I guess it kind of makes me feel more comfortable. __________________ "Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom" "The more the universe seems comprehensible, the more it seems pointless."
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 08:19 PM #9 No, never pay much attention to it.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 09:15 PM #11 I barely glance at my T, so I don't really notice what she wears.
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Polibeth Poohbah Member Since Jun 2014 Location: Earth Posts: 1,193 9 2,235 hugs given	Nov 01, 2019 at 09:18 PM #12 I've never paid attention
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Nov 02, 2019 at 06:23 AM #13 I notice but don't really care what they wear. That is not what affects me in session.
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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Nov 02, 2019 at 06:31 AM #14 I find my t attractive and appreciate what she wears but beyond a glance when I first arrive her clothing doesnt affect me or my session at all.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,372 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Nov 02, 2019 at 08:11 AM #16 I pay attention to what people wear because I love clothes in general. My t dresses ok. But sometimes she wears strange things like nylons with sandals. Other than that she is fine. She has exact same purse as me, i think it’s funny. It’s hanging on her door I am not affected by it though and certainly not attracted.
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SoAn Member Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Europe Posts: 120 4 84 hugs given	Nov 02, 2019 at 08:35 AM #17 I felt attracted to my t, but his clothing was a buzzkill . He wears clothes that I find fit older men more, I didn't really like his style
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Nov 02, 2019 at 11:34 AM #20 My (male) T wears pretty nondescript clothes--long-sleeved shirt, tie, formal pants. I find myself looking at his socks a lot (I have a hard time looking him in the eye when we're discussing difficult things). I kind of appreciate how boring his clothes are--it's comforting.
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