Have you ever played a game with your T?

SummerTime12 · Dec 12, 2019 at 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I also find it better if T is also focusing on the game, instead of just sitting there staring at me for an hour

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

junkDNA · Dec 12, 2019 at 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

Yep that's why we play rummy or other non complex games

nottrustin · Dec 12, 2019 at 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

I think this is why I enjoyed going for a walk with.her fairly recently. All the focus was not on me. We were walking closely and looking forward. A few times she turned and looked at me me a bit. They were definitely less intense appointments because we were in public in a pretty busy area.

Dec 12, 2019 at 09:38 PM

My therapist and I love going out for breakfast. I like eating with her or going for walks with her because it makes it easier for me to talk.Last year we went to a virtual reality show which was probably the best time we have ever had together. We laughed so hard.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 13, 2019 at 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I would be anxious and very self conscious about playing a boardgame with my therapist. It seems like a horrible idea. I don't like "play" generally and am serious in my approach to most things. The idea of a boardgame is thst someone wins and that seems like a strange dynamic to introduce into the therapy room.

Can you describe what appeals to you about playing a game? I am curious.

First, it was L's idea, not mine. I have read about other people on here playing games with their Ts (and going for walks). I just never thought to ask.

We've been talking about/preparing to play a game on the 23rd. Today we discussed the what, how, and why. The hope is to not only learn to be more comfortable with L, but also with myself. L also wants me to learn more "scripts", so I'll be more prepared for socializing in rl. We have decided to play chess. Both of us know how the game works, but neither know specific moves or anything special. And we've agreed to play honestly. We've also agreed to only play for a certain length of time to prevent anyone from winning or losing because that has nothing to do with the goal. We will be sitting on the floor: my back will be towards the wall. There will be an ottoman between us that the board will be placed on. I'll be bringing my dog and wearing something that will be comforting/comfortable to me.

divine1966 · Dec 14, 2019 at 08:32 AM

I am confused. Why choose chess? Chess is a rather complex game requiring a lot of mental concentration. How will you play chess if you don’t know specific moves? Do you mean you don’t know the rules of the game? Have you played before? Has she?

I can’t imagine to play chess without a goal of winning. Would choosing something more chill will make you more relaxed? Chess is totally not a game for relaxation.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 14, 2019 at 12:40 PM

Most games do not require winning. You can stop at any point. I chose chess because it's more of an adult game and not a child game. It doesn't necessarily have to require concentration especially if the goal isn't winning. And yes, L and I both know the rules of chess, but neither of us is skilled. Meaning we know how to move the pieces, but we don't know specific moves.

Mountaindewed · Dec 20, 2019 at 08:16 PM

I did with the one I had in 2011. When I first met my current one she showed me a bunch of stuff I could play with and I always want to use her Kinetic Sand but I don’t want to get too distracted with it. Maybe I’ll just do it on Monday. I’m always staring at it.

Spirit of Trees · Dec 22, 2019 at 06:17 AM

I haven't played board games with my T. It doesn't sound appealing to me. I would rather play board games with my friends.

zoiecat · Dec 22, 2019 at 06:34 AM

I can hear my T now. "You don't pay me to play games. That would be insurance fraud."

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 23, 2019 at 02:28 PM

Well, we didn't play a game

We had more important things to talk about because of her leave for the holidays. We're planning on playing when she gets back. Maybe not the first session back because we'll have to process her leave, but maybe the session afterwards. She got a really nice chess set for us to play.

ScarletPimpernel · Jan 10, 2020 at 12:34 AM

Tomorrow is the day! And we collaborated on a list of questions to ask each other. I'm going to print them out tonight and cut them into strips. Then we'll put them in a bowl and draw them out. I'm excited and extremely nervous. I think I'm most nervous about getting up off the ground...sticking my butt in the air and all. So embarrassing! I guess that's how it's done though? Because I saw my sister get up from the floor and she did it that way.

ETA: Any questions we don't get to will be used when we play our next game: Chutes and Ladders!

Omers · Jan 10, 2020 at 05:51 AM

Good luck!

LonesomeTonight · Jan 10, 2020 at 07:21 AM

I hope it goes well, Scarlet! I like the idea of drawing questions from a fishbowl.

ScarletPimpernel · Jan 10, 2020 at 06:06 PM

It went so well. I was nervous the whole time, but at the same time I felt more relaxed with her than I ever have. We barely played the game...lol. We were more busy asking and answering questions. That was a lot of fun! We got to learn about our little quirks and interests. We didn't answer all the questions, but we'll save them for the next time. I really really enjoyed it.

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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 12, 2019 at 09:38 PM #24 My therapist and I love going out for breakfast. I like eating with her or going for walks with her because it makes it easier for me to talk.Last year we went to a virtual reality show which was probably the best time we have ever had together. We laughed so hard.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,123 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,737 hugs given	Dec 20, 2019 at 08:16 PM #28 I did with the one I had in 2011. When I first met my current one she showed me a bunch of stuff I could play with and I always want to use her Kinetic Sand but I don’t want to get too distracted with it. Maybe I’ll just do it on Monday. I’m always staring at it. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Spirit of Trees Member Member Since May 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 189 4 111 hugs given	Dec 22, 2019 at 06:17 AM #29 I haven't played board games with my T. It doesn't sound appealing to me. I would rather play board games with my friends. __________________ I like deer with their stick legs and stick antlers
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zoiecat Grand Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: USA Posts: 916 7 409 hugs given	Dec 22, 2019 at 06:34 AM #30 I can hear my T now. "You don't pay me to play games. That would be insurance fraud."
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Omers Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2010 Location: Crimson cattery Posts: 3,512 13 3,133 hugs given	Jan 10, 2020 at 05:51 AM #33 Good luck! __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,731 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 10, 2020 at 07:21 AM #34 I hope it goes well, Scarlet! I like the idea of drawing questions from a fishbowl.
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