Storming out

MatBell · Nov 12, 2019 at 07:35 AM

This is a first for me. Today I stormed out of the therapist room within the first 10 minutes.
She was worried about me and said she would call some of my family members. I said no but she wanted to anyway. I felt a breach of trust and like I was treated like a child. I got angry and left. She tried to stop me but I had made up my mind.

Who else has done this and what caused it for you?

here today · Nov 12, 2019 at 09:38 AM

I did that once with a therapist over 30 years ago and once with another about 18 years ago. In both cases it was because I felt what I now know to be a profound disrespect of me from them, and it ended both therapies. I did not make new appointments.

I guess it would be more accurate to say that what happened in the therapists' offices triggered dissociated feelings of profound disrespect from the past. In both cases the disrespect of me was there in what they did, but was somewhat minor. Nevertheless, I did not not and could not trust either of those therapists again.

shelda · Nov 12, 2019 at 10:22 AM

I have done this as well but at the dentists.They tell me what they are going to do and it scares me. Therapist stating she's going to call your family !! She sounds not compassionate to me.

SlumberKitty · Nov 12, 2019 at 10:52 AM

I've never done that personally, although I have left sessions early if I was just too overwhelmed. Did your T contact any of your family members? I'm sorry you felt like you were being treated like a child. I had that experience last night in T appointment as well. I'm mad about it but I suppose I will get over it. Do you think you can talk to your T next session about your response and what you were feeling? HUGS Kit

*Beth* · Nov 12, 2019 at 01:13 PM

Decades ago I stormed out of a therapy session. I did return to my next session, but the T diagnosed me as having "BPD traits." It still annoys me to this day that he laid that dx on me because he mishandled the issue in the session.

MatBell · Nov 12, 2019 at 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I've never done that personally, although I have left sessions early if I was just too overwhelmed. Did your T contact any of your family members? I'm sorry you felt like you were being treated like a child. I had that experience last night in T appointment as well. I'm mad about it but I suppose I will get over it. Do you think you can talk to your T next session about your response and what you were feeling? HUGS Kit

No she didn’t. But she did send people from her team after me because she was worried about me. They called me and I met and talked to them.
Haven’t talked to my T yet. Don’t know if I can trust her now to not do certain things even if I tell her not to..

KLL85 · Nov 12, 2019 at 01:44 PM

Do you think your T had any reason to think you were going to harm yourself? If so then they may have been bound by ethical guidelines to contact a family member. I know here in the UK all therapists that are members of the BACP have to contact a GP or emergency contact if the have reason to believe that their client is likely to cause harm to themselves even if the client does not want them to. So maybe it was more about ensuring that you were safe than anything else?

stopdog · Nov 12, 2019 at 02:12 PM

Can you find a new therapist? This one sounds highly reactive. Also, I never gave the therapist a correct phone number or name of anyone to contact. If need be, just make one up and put that down. If I ever tried therapy again, I doubt I would give them my correct name and address.

Xynesthesia2 · Nov 12, 2019 at 03:21 PM

Did not happen for me but I am sure I would have reacted the same way. I would never give therapists a contact person - if they demanded, I would look for another therapist or make it up. And if they made comments like that, I would never be back. Any breach of confidentiality would cause me to stop seeing anyone, not only a therapist, but 100% confidentiality is what I absolutely expect of them. Treating me as though I was a child would also be a deal breaker very soon.

SalingerEsme · Nov 12, 2019 at 03:46 PM

I have done it once, and almost another time. My T is not a fan of acting out, and he let me know that many people would like that slot, and that is not how to express anything, and that 3x you're out. I have never tested that line again. However, the reaction created problems too , as it seemed authoritarian and lacking in warmth & curiosity. once emotions run that high, it is a big deal to repair the relationship. I hope you reconnect, if that what you really need down deep.

stopdog · 05:11 PM

I would not put up with a therapist telling me others were waiting for the time I hired them to be at their office. I would have walked out and left them to it. Probably after saying there were plenty of therapists out there and that particular one was not all that important to me. Any therapist who is that egomaniacal is not a therapist I am going to hand money to.

MatBell · Nov 12, 2019 at 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLL85

Do you think your T had any reason to think you were going to harm yourself? If so then they may have been bound by ethical guidelines to contact a family member. I know here in the UK all therapists that are members of the BACP have to contact a GP or emergency contact if the have reason to believe that their client is likely to cause harm to themselves even if the client does not want them to. So maybe it was more about ensuring that you were safe than anything else?

Yes we had been talking about suicidal thoughts and I am in a rough spot right now. I understand her position too. But I think she should listen when I repeatedly say I don’t want her to contact family members and she then overrules me. I just feel like the cooperation between us broke down.

*Beth* · Nov 12, 2019 at 07:12 PM

I'm so, so sorry that you feel a breach in the trust you have with your therapist. I know that awful feeling. It does sound like she was genuinely concerned about you. I definitely would not want my t to call a family member - but I'd rather that than calling the cops. In the U.S. therapists are mandated reporters so are bound to notify the cops if someone has intent to suicide.

After having been dragged in handcuffs to a miserable, tiny room in a rotten psych ward last year I made up my mind that I will never, never disclose any reason for a mandated reporter to take action.

Anyway, my thought is that you take a few breaths, sleep on it, and speak with her about this whole situation...see where things go from there.

You have my sympathy.

stahrgeyzer · Nov 12, 2019 at 08:44 PM

I'm going to my therapist in 3 days, so what you say scares the hell out of me! Idk what I'd do but I'll have to remember to never give my therapist contact info to anyone.

stahrgeyzer · Nov 12, 2019 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm so, so sorry that you feel a breach in the trust you have with your therapist. I know that awful feeling. It does sound like she was genuinely concerned about you. I definitely would not want my t to call a family member - but I'd rather that than calling the cops. In the U.S. therapists are mandated reporters so are bound to notify the cops if someone has intent to suicide.

After having been dragged in handcuffs to a miserable, tiny room in a rotten psych ward last year I made up my mind that I will never, never disclose any reason for a mandated reporter to take action.

Anyway, my thought is that you take a few breaths, sleep on it, and speak with her about this whole situation...see where things go from there.

You have my sympathy.

Wow I'm speechless. Sorry to hear that happened to you. So much to learn here at PC. Never let therapists here in the U.S. know you're suicidal with a plan.

malika138 · Nov 12, 2019 at 09:23 PM

Okay, not only have I done this, two weeks ago, but tomorrow is my first appointment back. The first four minutes of interaction with the T triggered feelings of abandonment. I tried to stay longer but I felt like I was completely unheard. I've been with this T for 13 years. I am unsure how tomorrow will go. I'm nervous. It is not like there are very many therapists in my rural area if she terminates me.

velcro003 · Nov 12, 2019 at 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Wow I'm speechless. Sorry to hear that happened to you. So much to learn here at PC. Never let therapists here in the U.S. know you're suicidal with a plan.

I don't know the story behind the post you quoted, but just wanted you to know that my T knows about my plan, and has known about all of my suicidal feelings. She has never threatened the cops/psych ward on me, but she has expressed her worry of my safety after I left session. She did make clear that she is a mandated reporter, but we have always had conversations around it, and she has trusted me when I said I'd call her first before actually acting on the plan.

*Beth* · Nov 12, 2019 at 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Wow I'm speechless. Sorry to hear that happened to you. So much to learn here at PC. Never let therapists here in the U.S. know you're suicidal with a plan.

Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. Just to be clear - it wasn't a therapist who called the cops on me, it was someone online (not here). I confided in the person and asked her not to tell anyone because I needed to sleep and get my thinking straight. Next thing I knew 2 cops were at my door.

MatBell · Nov 13, 2019 at 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. Just to be clear - it wasn't a therapist who called the cops on me, it was someone online (not here). I confided in the person and asked her not to tell anyone because I needed to sleep and get my thinking straight. Next thing I knew 2 cops were at my door.

I was afraid she would call the cops too. Tried that before and it’s not a nice experience.

susannahsays · Nov 13, 2019 at 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

I have done it once, and almost another time. My T is not a fan of acting out, and he let me know that many people would like that slot, and that is not how to express anything, and that 3x you're out. I have never tested that line again. However, the reaction created problems too , as it seemed authoritarian and lacking in warmth & curiosity. once emotions run that high, it is a big deal to repair the relationship. I hope you reconnect, if that what you really need down deep.

I feel enraged reading that. He is not a "fan" of "acting out?" Of course, he gets to define what is and what isn't acting out, I'm sure. And even if a client is acting out, there's a reason for it and it's literally his job to help the client with whatever issue is behind the acting out. Sure, maybe acting out isn't a good way to communicate things, but lots of people with trauma don't know how to operate differently and again, it's literally his job to help with that since he's supposedly a trauma therapist. Plus, sometimes therapists don't ****ing listen and it seems like the only way to get through their thick skulls is to take drastic action. He has a huge ego, so I'm sure he's no exception.

Sorry for the rant, but that really angers me. I think I would terminate with a therapist who made that sort of threat, especially when you had only walked out once and it wasn't like you were walking out of a good number of sessionsa. And the part about other people wanting the slot is completely inappropriate.

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shelda Member Member Since Apr 2014 Location: Ottawa,Ont Posts: 50 10 104 hugs given	Nov 12, 2019 at 10:22 AM #3 I have done this as well but at the dentists.They tell me what they are going to do and it scares me. Therapist stating she's going to call your family !! She sounds not compassionate to me.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 12, 2019 at 01:13 PM #5 Decades ago I stormed out of a therapy session. I did return to my next session, but the T diagnosed me as having "BPD traits." It still annoys me to this day that he laid that dx on me because he mishandled the issue in the session. __________________
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stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: literally hell Posts: 2,348 6 5,660 hugs given	Nov 12, 2019 at 08:44 PM #14 I'm going to my therapist in 3 days, so what you say scares the hell out of me! Idk what I'd do but I'll have to remember to never give my therapist contact info to anyone.
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