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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
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Nov 17, 2019 at 01:35 PM
#1
My T and I are not in the middle of a rupture right now. But we have had so many recently. And while we have kind of worked through them a little bit and made up from them and been able to move on, I don’t think we have really deeply resolved them. It just has all hit me this weekend and I’m just so upset. I really treasure my relationship with my T – I could not bear it ending. I just feel like things are so broken between us and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t feel safe with her anymore. I don’t know what to do to fix it.
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
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Nov 17, 2019 at 01:51 PM
#2
Oh Goatee I'm so totally sorry you feel like this. I completely get it, from my version of similar happening with a former T. I know how it feels to have issues about the relationship build up and not fully get resolved and things should be okay but just aren't. It's awful. It's easy to say 'talk to T about it' but I know it can feel more stressful when things have reached such a point. I know you care deeply about your T and wouldn't want it to end. I wish your T could hear you more fully and empathise with how you're experiencing things with her. I don't know what to say but feel free to pm me if it would help to say more (no pressure if you don't want to). PLease take care.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: England
Posts: 11,355
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Nov 17, 2019 at 01:59 PM
#3
So sorry you're experiencing these issues. I know how awful it feels. Hugs.
__________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing " |
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,730
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Nov 17, 2019 at 02:00 PM
#4
The truth is, as I see it, is that the client cannot fix it. The client can give up the illusion or hope, but the client alone cannot fix it and it may not be fixable. I found it useful to interview other ones and I found it useful to hire another one -if only for the contrast.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,746
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Nov 17, 2019 at 02:13 PM
#5
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I had similar over the summer with my T. Would you consider taking a short break, whether seeing someone else for a few sessions or just not having therapy for a few weeks? I feel like my taking a short break with my T and seeing one T for 2 sessions and another T for 1 kind of helped reset things with me and my T. In a way, it almost shifted the power for me, or something. And we've both seen much more respectful toward and understanding of each other since I've been back (2 months now). I have no idea if that would help with your T, but it's worth a try if nothing else seems to be helping.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
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Nov 17, 2019 at 02:17 PM
#6
I am also very sorry, and it is such a difficult relationship to understand sometimes between T and client. What do you think is at the deep roots of the problem ?
__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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