Making a complaint

I really appreciate the support

I wonder how many times transference has been the scapegoat for bad therapy..

It's your mother... It's your father...

No, maybe it's the t.

The concept of transference is definitely often overused by some Ts when they become defensive and don't want to take responsibility. I had one of those, he even made stuff up about me directly to me, can't imagine how he would have twisted things in a formal complaint process.

Has anyone backed down from a complaint because it was too emotionally distressing?

I am only a co complainant as that's what I requested. My new therapist is actually the primary complainant.

I only have therapy once a week now and have no one else to help me through this

You have every right to change your mind about participating in the complaint.
It’s difficult to know what you’re getting into when you initially decide to file a complaint. Now that you have gathered information about what may be involved, no one should fault you if you change your mind.

***Your mental and physical health are *more* important than any complaint!***

I support you...in whatever decision you make.

I decided not to care about trying to report my first T in any way exactly for that reason (in addition to most likely not having enough evidence to show). I didn't feel like engaging in that story any more than discussing it a bit here on PC, with a couple friends, and another T I saw for a while. That worked for me because I didn't feel truly harmed, more just upset and angry for a time, but it wasn't as deep as I see from many people who did pursue complaints or didn't but carried resentments for years after the bad therapy experience. There was also the factor of seeing how that T handled feedback, not only from me but even from strangers on his online media. I just saw no way I could win and if I saw no perspective for that, why to cause more frustration for myself, for something that didn't even bother me so deeply, to start with. I am also someone who really doesn't like to feel like a victim when it comes to emotional manipulation, I prefer to reject it and walk away. I do believe though that if someone feels very hurt and resentful, it may be worth pursuing a complaint even if they do not win in the end, just for the sake of self-empowerment.

I am getting ready to possibly move forward with this myself, and here's what I've learned so far:

The board treats you as the customer. The case is not about you or trying to dissect you; the case is about the therapist having to explain him/herself. The therapist is on trial, not you -- he has to explain his reasoning for actions he took. You, as the client, "Can do no wrong." Only he needs to explain himself.

I totally totally hear you... I have every email my ex-T and I exchanged, and, in looking over them, I feel i come across as the completely insane one. Truthfully, most of the stuff I need to report is not in the emails, and I'm scared too.

I have the added benefit of someone else recently filing a complaint against him, and he was found "guilty." So, I do feel I will be believed. This other complaint is WHY I feel compelled now to come forward and say "she wasn't the only one he did this too."

Already having a complaint against them will go a long way

I doubt any complaints have been made against my ex t. But I don't know that for sure.

I have asked for written stuff back that I wrote as part of our therapy. So waiting on that right now. Really want my new t to read it all and we can sort through it.

This is all important for me to get an objective view.

Thanks so much for the info.

I kinda feel like the one on trial having to prove myself but this is just the beginning.

We need to wait to see if it will go to full investigation before my old T can respond

I hear you.
I'm sitting over here combing through emails going "there's like no proof in here anywhere."
He kept it out of email.
The emails make ME look insane.
My therapist said I don't have to submit the emails at all. (I mean, he could if he still has them, but apparently I don't "have" to.)

Do you know what information they have to give if it's a full investigation?

I know there would be an I.T guy cos the board mentioned it if the case went that far

I don't know really.
I'm planning to turn in physical files / evidence myself (I've just found an archive of text messages via my Mac, thank god, and they paint the TRUE picture).

My plan is to take a sampling of the texts, include them with the complaint, and state that I have further evidence/further text messages as well as emails should the board wish to see them.

I expect they will assign someone to interview me.

God I can't believe I'm really doing this.... but now that I KNOW he didn't do this to just me, I feel an obligation.

I think with most boards if complaints aren't "proven" they don't publish them. But I bet they notice if multiple complaints come about the same therapist about similar things. So even if you are the first and even if it isn't "proven" then you could really be protecting someone else.

I think you are really strong.