Filing a Complaint Against a Former T...(Possibly an Ongoing Thread)

toomanycats · Dec 07, 2019 at 06:45 PM

I mean he could've lied.

That would be an interesting lie.

I never saw it, just heard about it.

And he could lie again and say he doesn't have it; pretty sure they can't force him to prove that.

He can lie... that will be on him. It's something I have to accept. That he can lie.

Whalen84 · Dec 09, 2019 at 06:02 PM

Hi. I've already gone through an NASW complaint ( she was found 'guilty' ) and am now in the middle of a state ( CT ) complaint. I'm sorry you have to look back at all those text and emails. I know first hand it hurts so much. Please pm if you wanna talk. We're 'lucky' that we have evidence that's indisputable. It still hurts like hell. I know what you mean it feels like it's our fault. It's not but it does feel that way

toomanycats · Dec 09, 2019 at 08:40 PM

The big question I have now is...do I include the stuff I DON'T have physical evidence of?

I've got this compiled list of issues, and I have so many feelings about it. It looks SO BAD when you look at it all in one place... but it didn't feel so obvious going through it... so I end up doubting myself, like... am I exaggerating? But, I mean...3 years of 2-3x a week sessions... it added up...

Dec 10, 2019 at 01:26 AM

Sorry to jump in.

I've just been asked if I want to make an official complaint against my first ever therapist (I've not shared the details on PC), and I'm panicking because I don't have indisputable proof. I'm not in the USA or UK.

I'm reading this thread.

Whalen84 · Dec 10, 2019 at 07:07 AM

So weird. Our experiences have a lot in common - a lot.

toomanycats · Dec 10, 2019 at 08:06 AM

@Whalen84 well, if you're in Connecticut and not Virginia or Arizona, it's not likely to be the same therapist... I'm literally always looking for other clients of his, heh. His name is Scott. I won't post the last name just in case it could get me in trouble, but I'm so done keeping his secrets...so.

Anyone in Tucson, AZ seeing a Scott therapist...or if you were in Northern Virginia seeing one a few years back...maybe look him up to see if he's had a complaint recently. And beware.

precaryous · Dec 10, 2019 at 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomanycats

I mean he could've lied.

That would be an interesting lie.

I never saw it, just heard about it.

And he could lie again and say he doesn't have it; pretty sure they can't force him to prove that.

He can lie... that will be on him. It's something I have to accept. That he can lie.

You heard about it from him?
I dunno. I say you throw everything against the wall and wait to see what sticks.

Let’s say you include what you heard about the piercing(s) in your complaint.
Maybe the board will ask him and he lies. Would you be any worse off?
1) The board knows therapists can lie.
2) it’s possible he might tell the truth, too.

But it’s your complaint, not mine.

Possible trigger:

I could identify the genitalia of the psychiatrist that raped me. I was hoping the state...or the board...or even my civil lawyer could make him submit to a photo.

Line them all up...I could still pick his out.

precaryous · Dec 11, 2019 at 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomanycats

The big question I have now is...do I include the stuff I DON'T have physical evidence of?

I've got this compiled list of issues, and I have so many feelings about it. It looks SO BAD when you look at it all in one place... but it didn't feel so obvious going through it... so I end up doubting myself, like... am I exaggerating? But, I mean...3 years of 2-3x a week sessions... it added up...

Include everything. You might not know all the ways these issues may benefit your case. If they do not benefit your case, what have you lost? Would it matter?

It’s good you are organizing the list of issues. Clearly telling/writing about your experiences can be very helpful to your case.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 11, 2019 at 01:16 AM

I do have one caution. I think it might have been wrong with my case, and maybe my sister's court cases. I gave the board every single email I had. That was my only proof of anything, so I figured it would be better if they had it all. I did highlight the important parts. But I think I gave them too much information? It's a theory at least. Same goes with my sister's cases against her ex-boyfriend. She had literally a stack of evidence against him: pictures, emails, texts, etc. And her case still got dismissed. In fact, the lying ******* has never been convicted of anything. Anyways, same with her, we think she had too much information. Because some of her other cases where she had less information, she won. I'm not saying I'm certain about what happened, but it could be a possibility. I'd suggest sticking to evidence and not submitting anything extra. They have enough to investigate and you don't want it being used against you.

But I am in agreement with the others: submit information that you know about his piercing. That's a huge piece of information and makes someone identifiable.

toomanycats · Dec 11, 2019 at 07:24 AM

@precaryous yes, I know about the piercing because he described it multiple times.

@ScarletPimpernel hmm... my plan was to include absolutely everything, but to organize it into 2 separate files on a flash drive: Folder 1 - specific evidence of complaint - labeled & clearly called out in the complaint itself to show which file "proves" which points; Folder 2 - "records of all digital communication." The point of which being to show not just the specific proof but also the massive quantity, because the excessiveness of the communication came up in the other complaint as well.

Were both of these court cases you're talking about? Because I am not going to court - I am only filing with the board. I am not alleging criminal activity.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 11, 2019 at 09:57 AM

Mine was with the board. My sister's was with the court. I didn't take ex-T to court because I don't want her money. I wanted her to know she did wrong and to not do this to other clients. I requested not that her license be revoked (because I don't believe she deserves that), but that she has to take classes such as a class about BPD. The board still found her ethical.

I, too, sent documents that highlighted my proof. I even sent emails between ex-T and T showing that she was unwilling to provide closure even through T.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Do what your gut tells you to do. I really hope you get the outcome you're looking for. I just wanted to put it out there that too much information might affect your complaint.

toomanycats · Dec 11, 2019 at 10:18 AM

I'm not sure what to do, honestly. I did wonder if too much information would be an issue, but I also would rather be the one to turn over the information vs. my ex-T turning it over. I thought of just including relevant files & just stating that I have ...I mean...over 2,200 emails, etc., that I am willing to provide if requested.

My accusations are pretty severe. There's really no grey area in "we met up at restaurants as friends/we used my session time to go to restaurants" or "he told me when he was off every night so I could come meet him to give him a hug" or "he would drive by my house to give me hugs" or "we spent much of our sessions with him holding me," etc. Some of it is very concrete stuff. I can't imagine even an information overload would mean they'd ignore the complaint - especially as he just had a similar one go through as founded.

So, I don't know. I don't want to give too much information, but I don't want to hold back either. And the sheer amount of communication we had IS part of the complaint, ya know?

LonesomeTonight · Dec 11, 2019 at 10:24 AM

I wonder if TELL could help you with knowing how much to submit?

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 11, 2019 at 10:33 AM

I totally understand. I sent all my emails as well in a pdf. My complaint was actually too long and I had to shorten it by half, and my document surpassed the limit I could send.

toomanycats · Dec 11, 2019 at 10:40 AM

Good idea @LonesomeTonight. I just emailed the TELL email address with the question

toomanycats · Dec 11, 2019 at 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I totally understand. I sent all my emails as well in a pdf. My complaint was actually too long and I had to shorten it by half, and my document surpassed the limit I could send.

Ah - yeah - so I have to send it in print apparently lol - but I did email the AZ board to ask if I could submit the supporting files on a flash drive, and they said yes.

sarahsweets · Dec 13, 2019 at 08:25 AM

I found this:Docinfo | When to File a Complaint Against a Doctor
Not sure if it will help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomanycats

@atisketatasket Thank you for sharing your experience with filing a complaint; it's helpful to know it brought you some sense of closure/that you don't regret it. I do fear going through all of this and winding up regretting it...or remaining still unresolved really. But I guess that's what being in therapy throughout the process will be for. His license here in Virginia has expired; his only active license is in Arizona, and that is where he is practicing. I will file in Arizona; I don't know if I will file in Virginia as well - not sure if I "can" since his is expired here. It would really suck if Arizona said "you only saw him as a therapist in VA; he was a friend when he moved to AZ" and tossed my stuff out...because, by the time he moved to AZ, we'd already terminated...but our "friendship" certainly continued while he was in AZ...so I am not sure how that will all work. There's nothing in the Arizona statutes that states that the offense must take place in Arizona, so... I guess we will see. If it IS thrown out for that reason, at least I will have made the AZ board aware that this is a pattern for him, which will be enough. That is all I am really wanting.

@sheltiemom2007 I'm so sorry for all you went through; it hurts my heart to know (and to understand why, because I am sure it will be true for me too) that 30 years later, the ghost is still there. I'm so sorry.

@elisewin thank you. I hope it helps. I hope it brings me closure. Or something.

Thanks @SalingerEsme - I don't consider it heroic or anything... just "the right thing to do."

toomanycats · Dec 13, 2019 at 10:10 AM

Thanks @sarahsweets I definitely already know I need to file the complaint, and I'm pretty familiar w/ the process.

TELL volunteers did email back and said my plan of submitting the flash drive with 2 files -- one containing files specifically cited in my complaint, and one with all recovered digital communication -- was the right way to go. So, sticking with that plan.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 13, 2019 at 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomanycats

Thanks @sarahsweets I definitely already know I need to file the complaint, and I'm pretty familiar w/ the process.

TELL volunteers did email back and said my plan of submitting the flash drive with 2 files -- one containing files specifically cited in my complaint, and one with all recovered digital communication -- was the right way to go. So, sticking with that plan.

Good, glad they were helpful!

Whalen84 · Dec 31, 2019 at 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomanycats

@Whalen84 well, if you're in Connecticut and not Virginia or Arizona, it's not likely to be the same therapist... I'm literally always looking for other clients of his, heh. His name is Scott. I won't post the last name just in case it could get me in trouble, but I'm so done keeping his secrets...so.

Anyone in Tucson, AZ seeing a Scott therapist...or if you were in Northern Virginia seeing one a few years back...maybe look him up to see if he's had a complaint recently. And beware.

Oh yeah, definitly not the same cause mine was a chick

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Filing a Complaint Against a Former T...(Possibly an Ongoing Thread)

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toomanycats Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2017 Location: USA Posts: 1,734 6 542 hugs given	Dec 07, 2019 at 06:45 PM #41 I mean he could've lied. That would be an interesting lie. I never saw it, just heard about it. And he could lie again and say he doesn't have it; pretty sure they can't force him to prove that. He can lie... that will be on him. It's something I have to accept. That he can lie.
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Anonymous45127 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 10, 2019 at 01:26 AM #44 Sorry to jump in. I've just been asked if I want to make an official complaint against my first ever therapist (I've not shared the details on PC), and I'm panicking because I don't have indisputable proof. I'm not in the USA or UK. I'm reading this thread.
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Whalen84 Member Member Since Jul 2018 Location: Connecticut Posts: 47 5 24 hugs given	Dec 10, 2019 at 07:07 AM #45 So weird. Our experiences have a lot in common - a lot.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,731 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Dec 11, 2019 at 10:24 AM #53 I wonder if TELL could help you with knowing how much to submit?
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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,405 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,399 hugs given	Dec 11, 2019 at 10:33 AM #54 I totally understand. I sent all my emails as well in a pdf. My complaint was actually too long and I had to shorten it by half, and my document surpassed the limit I could send. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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toomanycats Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2017 Location: USA Posts: 1,734 6 542 hugs given	Dec 11, 2019 at 10:40 AM #55 Good idea @LonesomeTonight. I just emailed the TELL email address with the question
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