I now give up

The part I quoted above is exceedingly important I think.

I was outwardly very independent so the extent to which I fell into dependency on therapists, and the idea of therapy, was not at all obvious to me, and nobody else clued me in. My rational, cognitive side is pretty good, but it didn't help me at all with the emotional dependency/addiction. And all the therapy didn't help me gain that "insight" either. What helped was both my own frustration AND some comments on PC that were critical or questioning about therapy. Emotionally, I had just accepted that the socially authorized and licensed professionals knew what they were doing and what best for me. OK, that attitude may have been problematic and I developed doubts, but it's what I went into therapy with. And the stuff I got from therapists didn't help me get out of it.

At least, Sarah did take a more pro-active approach to try to see in advance if the therapy, or therapist, was likely to be helpful.

Was it made clear, in advance -- try therapy with one of those therapists or lose your sick leave?

I don't live in Sweden and don't know the system there. If you're physically ill and the treatment doesn't help or even makes you worse, do they cut off your sick leave then? That logic may not help much, if the mental health administrators make up their own minds without input from the patients. But perhaps there is an attorney or ombudsman who might help?

On the other hand, as Budfox points out, if you're "ill" and the "treatment", and looking for treatment, makes you worse. . .maybe it's best to do without? The challenge is how to "get better" on your own -- terrifying and not easy, for sure. Not necessarily impossible, though.

. .. I´m now back with my temporary counselor but I already know she´s not qualified enough to work with me.

We talk like colleagues or acquaintances and when I mention something more serious about my issues the can´t meet that. She isn´t a therapist but more of a case manager who helps people with practical stuff like telephone numbers to authorities and similar.

If they don't have the possibility of a therapy that can help you, then accepting that, for the moment at least, may be the best you can do? If the counselor can just be there, at least maybe it will help in that you are not entirely on your own?

Based on my frustrating experience, I think even if you know what you need, it may just not be out there, or else very difficult to to find. Or, who knows, they may come up with some other suggestions even if it sounds like the psychiatrist isn't very open to it at the moment.

And It's not much, maybe, but we'll continue to be here, so please continue to keep us updated.

Does seeing your psychiatrist not count at all as treatment?

Are you officially on disability? You refer to it as sick leave but you haven’t worked for a long time and your expenses are paid by government assistance. Is it not considered a disability in Sweden? As sick leave typically won’t last over 5 years. Is there a disability agency of sorts where you can ask what you need to continue qualifying. Or can you ask your doc or pdoc? You might not even need therapy to keep your disability payments. Your pdoc visits might be enough

Thanks. It´s interesting to read about your experiences. Yes, at least there are some people that see all the flaws within the public health care system and dare to speak up, not many doctors or therapists do that.

As you say, you can get access to psychiatric care but the quality of such care isn´t the same as if you pay out of your own pocket. In Sweden mental health care is very influenced by medical companies who want to push their medicines.

They work by the principle of the lowest possible care level which means they only offer what´s absolutely neccessary. This means in the long run that patients apply for care several times due to the same or similar symptoms as they never get enough treatment. They get like 10 sessions instead of 40 or whatever they would need to get better.

There are many facilities and clinics in Sweden but they all struggle with the same problems and the same limitations.

Have you now got access to the care you need?

Is it possible that you were never properly diagnosed? Diagnosis often isn’t of any use. But often times proper diagnosis could ensure proper specialized treatment or at least good understanding of what is happening. Some things you mentioned sounded as maybe doctors and therapists are missing something.