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LonesomeTonight
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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 08:16 PM
  #121
Also glad it went well, WFS.

And Jersey, yeah, she needs a new attorney for sure...
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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 08:22 PM
  #122
She’s going to get one and now it’s going to be even longer till she can get out from under this guy. She can’t leave until an agreement is signed because he can sue her for half the mortgage payments .
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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 09:11 PM
  #123
Good grief. I’m going to bed.
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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 09:28 PM
  #124
Did something happen?

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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 09:46 PM
  #125
No. Not on the forum anyway.

I’m in a very terrible mood and hope to sleep it off.
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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 11:52 PM
  #126
My dad's dog took down the stockings, and tried to eat three presents One was okay, another needs rewrapping, and the other was chocolates so I gave them to my dad. Guess my mom's not getting chocolate this year.

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Default Dec 09, 2019 at 11:55 PM
  #127
Everyone ready for my annual rant about pavlovas?
 
 
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 12:31 AM
  #128
My appointment with Pastor T went better than expected. He helped me set up a safety plan. He helped me set this up. 1st find out what psych hospitals take my insurance ahead of time so I'm not trying to do it in a crisis. Then set up with three friends ahead of time so they arent scared or freaked out when I need them. But if I have suicidal thoughts for three days call regular T and call these three friends. Have one friend contact me in the AM, one in the afternoon, and one at night. And do that for 3 days. If I'm not better then it's time to go to the hospital. I get suicidal thoughts a lot so it's hard to know when it's a crisis.
But, the bad part is, he says he thinks I'm beyond my training and stuff. Because of my hallucinations and stuff. He said most of the people he sees have like relationship stuff and things like that. But I seem to spiral out of nowhere. Which regular T says too. Regular T says I'm fine until I'm not fine and then I'm really not okay but there doesnt seem to be discernable triggers as to why I start feeling bad.
We talked some about taking suicide off the table. If I can make a promise to God to never sui. But I said I didn't see how I could promise that. We kind of talked about SH but he was struggling a bit bc of the pain meds he is on. He said let's set that aside for now. But he wanted me to think about going a year without SH. But I said SH helps with the sui thoughts. So he says he needs to think about that.
He told me to write a list about why I want to live or reasons to live or something.
He said to keep working on my memory verse but that I was doing a good job. And he said work on setting up the safety plan but he knows it will be a bit of a process. And then he confirmed for next week. I was scared he was going to terminate me since he said I was past his training but he didn't. Maybe I need to think about this. But he was comforting at least. I told him he didn't have to worry about me tonight. And he prayed for me and that was that. Thanks for all the good thoughts couchies. Hugs Kit

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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 01:06 AM
  #129
Couch...

I know I'm not on here much... I try to read and leave hugs and thanks but I'm hardly around contributing.

I'm panicking now. A month ago or so, T encouraged me to write to the Psychologist Society in my country about therapist harm, including my own experience. She was part of the team which worked on updating the ethics code

She said to be specific, name the clinicians. I compiled some cases, of course with no identifiable client information, and sent it in. I forgot about it, figured nothing could be done.

They just replied last night. They just got back to me, they're asking if I want to make a formal complaint about the psychologists registered with the Society. If I do, I need to provide my national id number, they want exact dates and timelines, and I think they'll check with the psychologist.

I'm freaking out and I regret submitting anything. I see T on Friday, almost a week away but I need pocket riders. I keep thinking I'm making a fuss out of nothing, it'll be his word against me because he's got 25 years of experience and I'm just a patient with a personality disorder and complex trauma.
 
 
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 01:09 AM
  #130
Kit --
Possible trigger:


I know you said you haven't been able to identify what if anything triggers you. Have you tried mapping your symptoms? Like a timeline of what thought, feeling, or action leads up to a crisis. Sometimes it can progress slowly. Sometimes it might go from 0-60 in no time. L had me plot my symptoms and it's helped me recognize when I'm in a crisis and at what poi t I'm at. Then I can do something about it if I recognize it soon enough.

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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 04:33 AM
  #131
This is so random, but does anyone else not really know what color their eyes are??
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 06:26 AM
  #132
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Originally Posted by QuietMind View Post
Couch...

I know I'm not on here much... I try to read and leave hugs and thanks but I'm hardly around contributing.

I'm panicking now. A month ago or so, T encouraged me to write to the Psychologist Society in my country about therapist harm, including my own experience. She was part of the team which worked on updating the ethics code

She said to be specific, name the clinicians. I compiled some cases, of course with no identifiable client information, and sent it in. I forgot about it, figured nothing could be done.

They just replied last night. They just got back to me, they're asking if I want to make a formal complaint about the psychologists registered with the Society. If I do, I need to provide my national id number, they want exact dates and timelines, and I think they'll check with the psychologist.

I'm freaking out and I regret submitting anything. I see T on Friday, almost a week away but I need pocket riders. I keep thinking I'm making a fuss out of nothing, it'll be his word against me because he's got 25 years of experience and I'm just a patient with a personality disorder and complex trauma.
I'm in, QM
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 07:04 AM
  #133
I'm in QM.

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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 07:10 AM
  #134
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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Kit --
Possible trigger:


I know you said you haven't been able to identify what if anything triggers you. Have you tried mapping your symptoms? Like a timeline of what thought, feeling, or action leads up to a crisis. Sometimes it can progress slowly. Sometimes it might go from 0-60 in no time. L had me plot my symptoms and it's helped me recognize when I'm in a crisis and at what poi t I'm at. Then I can do something about it if I recognize it soon enough.
Hi @ScarletPimpernel yes, I'm on meds. ADs and APs ADHD meds and anti anxiety meds. No, I dont know if they are working. I've been on so many meds and med combos. My Pdoc says its treatment resistant. But we just keep tweaking things to try to make it work. I'm seriously considering something different like neurostar or something if my insurance will cover it because I've been suffering since I was nine, medicated since I was 18. I haven't tried the mapping thing. I will ask regular T about it. Thanks!! Hugs Kit

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Last edited by SlumberKitty; Dec 10, 2019 at 08:04 AM..
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 08:08 AM
  #135
Treatment resistant isn’t a permanent condition. It’s a clinical term for two different medications have been tried and neither has worked. I had treatment resistant depression at first until the fourth or fifth medication finally helped.

In other words you and your psychiatrist should keep trying. Have you had the gene test thing? It helped me.

I would just get a notebook and start mapping. Check in with yourself regularly and see how you’re feeling, kind of like you post on here throughout the day and tell us how you’re doing.

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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 08:09 AM
  #136
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Kit --
Possible trigger:


I know you said you haven't been able to identify what if anything triggers you. Have you tried mapping your symptoms? Like a timeline of what thought, feeling, or action leads up to a crisis. Sometimes it can progress slowly. Sometimes it might go from 0-60 in no time. L had me plot my symptoms and it's helped me recognize when I'm in a crisis and at what poi t I'm at. Then I can do something about it if I recognize it soon enough.
I like the diary card aspect of DBT for this, although my DBT T uses a much-abbreviated version of the diary card. It's a good way to check in with the intensity of various emotions and see how they relate to my urge and participation in my maladaptive coping strategies of choice (SH, suicidal thoughts, drinking, etc).
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 08:37 AM
  #137
I'll pocket ride, QM.
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 08:39 AM
  #138
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This is so random, but does anyone else not really know what color their eyes are??

Mine are dark brown, so fairly hard to mistake. Do you have light-colored eyes, by any chance? A former friend had eyes that were blue sometimes and green others, so it was hard to say what color eyes she really had. Also, for a long time I thought my T had green eyes, then realized that they're actually blue. And my daughter (and mother) have hazel eyes, where part is brown, part is green. But I think there's also a hazel eye type where it sometimes looks green, sometimes brown. So maybe one of those applies?
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  #139
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This is so random, but does anyone else not really know what color their eyes are??
Yes. I've picked a color that I think they are closest to, but it's subjective. They are on the blue-green continuum and I personally think they are more green than blue, so that's what I go with. But in certain light, or if I've been crying, they look more blue, so who really knows. I also have a thing (called sectoral heterochromia) where I have a big splotch in one eye that's brown. Here, I took a picture once.
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Default Dec 10, 2019 at 11:36 AM
  #140
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Originally Posted by SummerTime12 View Post
This is so random, but does anyone else not really know what color their eyes are??
Mine are hazel which means that much depends on what I am wearing and the lighting; sometimes they appear quite green and others more on the green-brown mixed side. Hazel eyes are a bit ambiguous. My hazel leans toward the green end of the hazel spectrum.
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