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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
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#201
Thanks @@. His dad is home now. I have to go talk to him.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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atisketatasket
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 692
10 119 hugs
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#202
Why am I so impatient? I hate waiting. I constantly want to fast forward time and skip ahead. I hate being idle or stuck in transition. I just want to get to the good parts. I constantly want MORE. Ugh
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,792
12 3,119 hugs
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#203
I can relate, penguin. It's a hard place to be in.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Usa
Posts: 3,068
9 589 hugs
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#204
I had to take sick leave this afternoon, joy. Hope it goes away soon. Hugs if you want one Jersey, that's a difficult situation to be in.
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chihirochild, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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Jersey 4
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
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#205
I am suddenly very tired today. It's lunchtime at work, but I really want it to be going home time. I put a lot of thought into a feedback proposal after the "communication training" we received yesterday. I hope it helps upper management, but it is also difficult to be vulnerable and say hey this is what I think we need to improve on. But of course, I also put the points in where I thought we were doing well, and I thought we were doing fantastic. Still you never know if the feedback will be accepted graciously. Plus it was kind of long.....at least I have tomorrow off of work.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,739
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#206
Hugs, Jersey. Agreed that you haven't failed. It would be a lot to deal with just this kid, let alone two others at the same time...
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Jersey 4
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Jersey 4
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,739
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
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#207
Also, maybe hang in there to see what the evaluation shows (that's tomorrow, I think you'd said?). If, say, it shows he's on the autism spectrum, then they could end up putting him in ABA therapy, which in some cases would take up like 6 hours a day every day (my D never did it, but my friend's sons have both been in it). Or some other sort of therapy. Or maybe they'll teach the parents methods to better handle him that you can then learn. Though if nothing comes out of it/changes in a few weeks, I would definitely understand leaving, or at least applying elswhere. I'm sure I wouldn't have lasted this long!
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SlumberKitty
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Jersey 4
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,739
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#208
Today, as part of a conversation initially about something with my mom, T happened to mention what (US) city his parents are from (a few states away). I was like, "Oh, they're from [city]? That's where H's family is from, too--he was born there, then they moved here when he was 2," then mentioned the specific neighborhood of the city they're from (it's a large city). Dr. T had sort of an "oh s***" look on his face for a second, then just carried on. I think it's the first time he's even mentioned his parents in there (he's mentioned his brother and some siblings-in-law), so maybe that was an "Oh no, I've revealed more personal info to LT!" He's seemed much more relaxed about that sort of thing lately, though, since I've come back. Which is kind of nice.
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Jersey 4, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#209
Quote:
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LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,146
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#210
Quote:
“Yesterday this apparently charming four year old drop-kicked his baby brother so he hit his head. He has throttled his sister and dragged her by the neck.” There’s video, isn’t there? Nanny cam. LT, if I saw someone react like that, I’d assume they were from the same neighborhood. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#211
Quote:
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Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,726
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
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#212
He is only 4 - they don't yet have super great impulse control. And he is a boy - they can be very physical. I don't think this child is a psychopath - I think he is a very smart child who needs to mature in some ways (which may be a bit for him) and have an outlet for his impulses and his intelligence. It is quite rough to be displaced twice in 4 years by younger siblings. Some children take care of the siblings to an unnatural extent and some have challenges coming to grips with it. He is impulsive - but their little brains are bonking in their heads at that age still for some of them. He cannot be allowed to hurt the younger children of course -but I think some of the problem may be his parents are putting him in a situation he isn't prepared to handle. At the daycare I was at - this was not particularly unusual 4 yr old boy behavior - we would try and stem it off - but they are physical little beasts who react.
Frankly there are days when I feel like strangling or drop kicking my own sibling still today. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
LonesomeTonight
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atisketatasket, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#213
His dad kind of just shrugged off that he kicked the baby down. I think he just didn’t know what to say about it.
I guess I made a big deal out of nothing. I’m eating some dinner and going bed. Thanks for the help everyone and the vote of confidence. I know I didn’t fail this kid. I just can’t really help him. I think I’m helping and then he sabotages the help. His mom thinks the same. That he sabotages his good behavior to get negative attention even though he gets plenty of positive attention too. After the holidays I will restart my search and I’m putting my efforts with this family to rest. LT-I would have taken from that reaction from the therapist that they know each other. Goodnight couch friends. Hugs |
atisketatasket, Polibeth, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#214
Stopdog. Everything you said is true. Prior to September he didn’t have to be around his sister and brother all day. Now he does have to be around them all day. They were all in Separate classrooms at daycare. When he goes to Kindergarten in September his school will only be from 8:15am-11:20am. Unfortunately I don’t have a say in it although I’ve said I know he needs to be in school all day and his mom acknowledged it but won’t change it. So I can’t change it.
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LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket, stopdog
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,726
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
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#215
I think it sounds like a good idea to find a new job - this one seems to be sucking the life out of you.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
atisketatasket, ElectricManatee, Jersey 4, Polibeth, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
5 7 hugs
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#216
Jersey, here's my concern. If that baby does get injured, you are the adult in charge and very possibly will be the fall-guy. You need to get out of this situation.
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Jersey 4, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#217
Yes. Thank you. That is the thing. He dropped kicked the baby in the 30 seconds I turned my head to get him a bottle of milk. It happens so quick.
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SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,726
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#218
It is talked about a lot with 4 yr olds a lot (if that helps you any in terms of knowing it is not just this child and this family)
Why Kids Hit Siblings and How to Help Them Stop | Psychology Today 4 year old hurting younger siblings - what to do? | Mumsnet Four Year Old Hitting 9 Month Old Sister - Mamapedia™ https://www.pinkymckay.com/sibling-l...rts-your-baby/ (3 yr old -but still...) and many many more __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
atisketatasket, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#219
Quote:
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
6 4,704 hugs
given |
#220
Quote:
ETA: While I was writing this, I see you posted about looking for a new gig. That's a completely reasonable option too. I hope the situation resolves itself one way or another soon! |
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chihirochild, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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