"Call me if you need it" SUI trigger

OliverB · Dec 07, 2019 at 05:32 AM

...

I saw my new therapist a month ago, next appointment is in February (yeah, I know...).

He told me to call him if I needed to, if I was truly unsafe...

I thought... "If i were about to kill myself, why would I call you? To prevent me from doing it? That would mean I don't truly want to die, so the whole calling things make no sense to me"

If I call saying I want to die
---> if i truly wanted to I would be prevented from doing it. It would be like auto sabotagge.
---> if i don't intend to, then why calling? It would mean i am not in danger.

I didn't tell him any of this, I think knowing that I won't seek help if I were About to die would unecessary worry him.

Omers · Dec 07, 2019 at 09:21 AM

Yep, I get it. All my previous T’s said things that if you have an ounce of logic to you the whole thing makes no sense. My current T thankfully makes very few of those mistakes but he doesn’t understand what it is about how he speaks that is so important to me.
If you’ve only seen him once and his next opening isn’t until February then why call anyway???

RosyC · Dec 07, 2019 at 09:46 AM

For me, when I feel suicidal it can become compulsive and the urges feel like things I *must* do and therefore it doesn’t feel like a choice, so it’s extremely distressing. When I feel like this I need support. Suicidalty isn’t a linear process - it isn’t as clear cut as being hell bent on completing suicide and not actually wanting to do it deep down. It is so much more complex than that, and often a process. Basically what I’m trying to say is - please reach out. Your feelings are valid. You expressing them does not detract from your intent. I hope you can reach out. I really do.

zoiecat · Dec 07, 2019 at 09:56 AM

I totally agree with you. Personally I don't understand the point of asking for help, it defeats the purpose. Luckily my T knows I will not call and doesn't make any such suggestions. Instead he always tries to get me to commit to not doing it for a set amount of time until I see him again. Ha! Same difference to me.

Your T probably just doesn't know which category you fall into yet. (Those that want to be stopped and those that don't)

Lonelyinmyheart · Dec 07, 2019 at 10:28 AM

I've never been told this but I have to wonder what would happen if you call and the T is unavailable and doesn't answer? I think it could be quite dangerous to say call me if you can't promise you will pick up...and no one can promise they will always pick up the phone.

Sometimes psychotic · Dec 07, 2019 at 10:40 AM

I used to think this way because I assumed my decision towards sui would be logical and thought out as it was when I considered the option in the past.They can’t stop you if that’s the case but if you get the other kind of sui thinking where you don’t really want to do it but you keep feeling like maybe you should. That you can call for and they can hospitalize and stop you.

OliverB · Dec 07, 2019 at 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

I've never been told this but I have to wonder what would happen if you call and the T is unavailable and doesn't answer? I think it could be quite dangerous to say call me if you can't promise you will pick up...and no one can promise they will always pick up the phone.

It is community mental health, I think a nurse would pick the phone and he would call me back as soon as available. I am not 100% since I haven't called him.

_--------------_

I think I have reached a point where I don't care really much about anything since I don't get suicidal urges anymore (understood as a 'I must kill myself rigth now'), I am less anxious but also more depressed (maybe is it apathy?). I just do not care enough about my pain to worry about it and be SUI. ( Or to go to my GP when needed, actually if I had the possibility to see my T everyweek, probably I wouldn't -I do not feel able to do such a thing rigth now... Too much mental exhaustion)

---_-+++++-----_

You all are rigth, the risk of impulsive suicidal attempt migth be the reason why he said that to me. It is not real, he doesnt know me enough -he cannot-.

nikon · Dec 08, 2019 at 08:14 AM

@OliverB I totally relate to that. Whenever I feel suicidal I become paralysed by that inner debate - asking for help means that I wouldn't actually need help because if I ask for help it means I'm not actually suicidal (as in intending to do it). I literally end up unable to move physically because of not knowing what to do.

Rive. · Dec 08, 2019 at 12:33 PM

This T seemed to want to throw you a lifeline, show that there is someone out there you may reach out to and you are not alone. That being said, the decision regarding whether to call or not, is yours. However the help, should you wish to take it, is there for you.

susannahsays · Dec 08, 2019 at 12:47 PM

I think you can truly want to die but have reasons you want to stop yourself from doing it. For example, you may be aware of how much killing yourself would hurt certain people. That could cause enough hesitation to seek help. Another factor could be fear of a botched attempt that could cause permanent disability. I met a girl in a psych ward one time who had brain damage because of what she overdosed on. I'm not going to detail other ways attempts can be botched, but there are several I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, I get what you're saying, especially having made attempts myself, but there have been times I wanted to die just as much but didn't act.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 08, 2019 at 02:33 PM

I agree with Susannah. There have been times I did feel like I wanted to die, but didn’t want to cause people (H or D) that pain. So I did reach out to ex-T, ex-MC, current T, friends, etc. (went to ER once, too, but wasn’t admitted). it didn’t mean my desires weren’t real. But I did want to be stopped. (And I did make an attempt in the distant past as well.)

comrademoomoo · Dec 08, 2019 at 02:39 PM

I don't think it even matters if you "really" want to die or if you feel so desperate and distressed that words like "suicidal" are the best fit for your extreme emotional state. It annoys me when people see attempts at, or expressions of, suicide as some kind of inferior pain. I think it is true that if someone is committed to suicide then they will not actively seek an intervention, but this does not mean that those who do seek are intervention are not in crisis. I haven't attempted suicide, although I work with those who have and do, so maybe others have more accurate insights.

comrademoomoo · Dec 08, 2019 at 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

maybe others have more accurate insights.

That doesn't sound like me at all. I don't know what has come over me, must be Sunday melancholy ...

Merlin · Dec 08, 2019 at 08:44 PM

Sometimes I’ve been rehearsing my suicide or researching methods. As much as I might plan for ages, my attempts have often been impulsive; right now is the right time. If I am rehearsing and researching it could become “right now” at any point. So I reach out to prevent it from becoming the “right time.”

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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Dec 07, 2019 at 10:28 AM #5 I've never been told this but I have to wonder what would happen if you call and the T is unavailable and doesn't answer? I think it could be quite dangerous to say call me if you can't promise you will pick up...and no one can promise they will always pick up the phone.
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nikon Grand Member Member Since Aug 2017 Location: Closet Posts: 842 6 678 hugs given	Dec 08, 2019 at 08:14 AM #8 @OliverB I totally relate to that. Whenever I feel suicidal I become paralysed by that inner debate - asking for help means that I wouldn't actually need help because if I ask for help it means I'm not actually suicidal (as in intending to do it). I literally end up unable to move physically because of not knowing what to do.
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,011 10	Dec 08, 2019 at 12:33 PM #9 This T seemed to want to throw you a lifeline, show that there is someone out there you may reach out to and you are not alone. That being said, the decision regarding whether to call or not, is yours. However the help, should you wish to take it, is there for you.
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