[Blueberry21]

Hello, my understanding is that there is a private forum for people who have been betrayed/abused by their therapists. As I’ve started to get into a bit on my other thread, my therapist has charged me an extremely large sum in a short amount of time (tens of thousands in a few months) for sessions 4-5 days a week, anywhere from 2 - 4.5 hours in length. He emails or texts me nearly every day, in order to see if I want to schedule for the following day, and I’m at the point where I almost never can say no. I’m extremely dependent now, and didn’t realize so until he was going on vacation. I know this is all wrong and am trying to get out of it now.

[Out There]

I think the idea was discussed but nothing concrete ever came out of it. What you describe sounds quite concerning.

[ScarletPimpernel]

There used to be a special forums. Talk to Budfox. I think they would know. They were apart of one, as was I. The only thing was that they were so negative. So if you still have faith in therapy/therapists, I wouldn't recommend it if it still exists.

You can always post here and get feedback. A lot of people here have had bad experiences in therapy, myself included. There's also TELL. I only looked into them a little bit, but they have helped a lot of people.

[here today]

There are some threads about Survivors of Unethical Therapy. That's the only thing I know about that's somewhat active currently.

I became increasingly aware, and then felt betrayed by the whole therapy enterprise. It's a shock, and I noticed on another thread that you said you felt ill. I have certainly felt the same. I do understand some people have had good experiences in therapy, and the ill feeling in me is because I allowed this to happen, I did it to myself. And yet, and yet. . .I had weaknesses and vulnerabilities I didn't know about, and all the years and money and trust -- but to people who are presumably there to "help". Now, I know better. But at FAR too large a cost in terms of time and money. It is sickening to think about.

Yes, I know some people give money to financial advisors whom they trust and are scammed. I wasn't vulnerable with that kind of betrayal, I think. Maybe because I don't trust them that much and I do my own homework. Or maybe because I don't have very challenging finances and I did/do have challenging emotional issues. But how can you do homework on someone who is supposedly there to help you find and overcome stuff that ends up making you blind and vulnerable to being used?

Just venting on this forum has helped me some. That and time. And not feeling totally alone in the betrayal. But for sure it really, really sucks. So sorry you've had this happen.

[atisketatasket]

https://psychcentralforums.com/clients-betrayed-by-t/

[missbella]

The moderator has been inactive on PC for quite a while.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

https://psychcentralforums.com/clients-betrayed-by-t/

When I click on the link - it says I don't have permission

[Blueberry21]

Ok, thanks all for your responses. It’s too bad there isn’t an active sub forum. I keep switching back and forth to thinking that he’s taken advantage of me, to thinking no, he’s helped me a lot and wants the best for me and has just gotten kind of carried away or inappropriately enmeshed in the process...

If it weren’t for the fact that he’s carried away so much of my money, I’d probably be stuck on the latter mode of thinking, but I feel like I’m in wake up call mode...

But then, part of me feels love towards him as well. “Transference issues” - or just straight up dependence, from so many hours with this person.

And yes, I realize that the above sounds like an abusive relationship.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

When I click on the link - it says I don't have permission

The moderator—a group moderator, not the community support people—has to approve applications to join the group, like a private Facebook page.

I’ve no idea whether we can change group moderators. But OP, the Psychotherapy forum should serve in its stead if we can’t.

[sophiebunny]

Didn't you and he discuss the fee schedule before he got you comfortable with 2 hours a day 4 days a week? That is really, really wrong. He had to know no insurance company would pay for that kind of out patient treatment with a private therapist. He had to be assuming you could pay that kind of money. His treatment schedule is so far out of the norm that I would characterize it as abuse. You are now dependent on him emotionally and owe him 10s of thousands of dollars. That's abuse.

If he thought you needed that much intensive treatment, an ethical therapist would have sent you to an Intensive Outpatient Program at an accredited hospital. he didn't do that. He tried to be his own IOP. Leaving you with the damage.

I'm so sorry. What he did is sickeningly wrong.

[satsuma]

Hi Blueberry
This sounds awful. The cost of therapy and the frequency should have been discussed and agreed between you both on day 1.
I’ve never heard of any therapist doing so much therapy in one week, but I think you said in another post that it’s replacing an outpatient programme - but I’ve never heard of anyone paying from their own pocket for that level of care /amount of therapy, and your therapist should have known that and discussed all of this clearly at the start.
I can see that you are in London. Your therapist should be registered with the HCP - Healthcare Professionals Council - and if or when you are ready to do so, it seems a good idea to make a complaint to them. This is the kind of thing they are supposed to regulate. I haven’t figured out how to post links, but you can find them with a search engine, and on their site you can check that your therapist is registered- he should be - and see how to complain and you can also read the outcomes of other complaints they have adjudicated so you can have an idea about cases where therapists are financially exploitative and what the outcome was.

[Omers]

I have had my share of mediocre and bad T’s. IMO your best interest is not being served by your current T. I would suggest either talking to your licensing board and get their thoughts or consulting with another T who has no connections with your current T. Personally I am not seeing anything beneficial or therapeutic by this set up.

[Blueberry21]

I'm struggling so much with all of this tonight. I see pdoc again tomorrow morning to continue this discussion about T and what to do. I don't think T meant any harm, and I think they genuinely want to help me, but have become overly involved in my situation. But honestly, I miss T (who is currently on vacation) and feel sad over potentially not being able to see them anymore.

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by Blueberry21

I'm struggling so much with all of this tonight. I see pdoc again tomorrow morning to continue this discussion about T and what to do. I don't think T meant any harm, and I think they genuinely want to help me, but have become overly involved in my situation. But honestly, I miss T (who is currently on vacation) and feel sad over potentially not being able to see them anymore.

I think that your feelings are completely understandable. Only you can know if the relationship can be salvaged or not. My concern about this situation would be that your therapist was providing more services than were needed or maybe even healthy because of the money. At the very least that seems like something you should bring up with him as well as the level of dependency that he created.

But if you don't think that he was taking advantage of you on purpose, you could talk to him and set some firm boundaries about the number of sessions you will attend, such as no more than two a week, etc. I think it really depends how he responds when you or the pdoc talks to him. And it was a good idea to tell the pdoc about the problem. Hopefully the pdoc can advocate for you.

[Blueberry21]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

I think that your feelings are completely understandable. Only you can know if the relationship can be salvaged or not. My concern about this situation would be that your therapist was providing more services than were needed or maybe even healthy because of the money. At the very least that seems like something you should bring up with him as well as the level of dependency that he created.

But if you don't think that he was taking advantage of you on purpose, you could talk to him and set some firm boundaries about the number of sessions you will attend, such as no more than two a week, etc. I think it really depends how he responds when you or the pdoc talks to him. And it was a good idea to tell the pdoc about the problem. Hopefully the pdoc can advocate for you.

Thank you! Update on my other thread.

[HD7970GHZ]

MORE MORE MORE!!! We Need More Threads! More Links! Yes YEs Yes! Just Post EVERYTHING and Anything and Just Don't Stop! AAHHH!

[Blueberry21]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

MORE MORE MORE!!! We Need More Threads! More Links! Yes YEs Yes! Just Post EVERYTHING and Anything and Just Don't Stop! AAHHH!

???
Did I say something?
It’s just that I read somewhere that there was a specific private forum... that’s all. Apparently it’s not active, so, that’s fine. I got the info I needed from this thread.

[sophiebunny]

Originally Posted by Blueberry21

???
Did I say something?
It’s just that I read somewhere that there was a specific private forum... that’s all. Apparently it’s not active, so, that’s fine. I got the info I needed from this thread.

You did nothing wrong. This is a terrible club to belong to. You were looking for a specialized place to talk about it. When I went through it I was utterly alone and believed no one else like me existed. Making me feel all the more responsible for what my long x therapist did to me. However, like you, I had a really good psychiatrist who understood and guided me.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Blueberry21

Thank you! Update on my other thread.

I'm sorry about my late reply, I only just saw this thread. You are definitely not alone in having been betrayed by a therapist (I also was. Only yesterday I posted something in this forum about that.. but deleted my post. It was a response in someone else's thread) It certainly is a terrible ''club'' to belong to. I have no desire to belong to any ''club'', just to speak my truth. I have not had a good psychiatrist who understood either. (not in my part of the forest anyway).

[Blueberry21]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I'm sorry about my late reply, I only just saw this thread. You are definitely not alone in having been betrayed by a therapist (I also was. Only yesterday I posted something in this forum about that.. but deleted my post. It was a response in someone else's thread) It certainly is a terrible ''club'' to belong to. I have no desire to belong to any ''club'', just to speak my truth. I have not had a good psychiatrist who understood either. (not in my part of the forest anyway).

Hi Fuzzy, thanks very much for your comments and I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through with a previous T. If you do decide you want to talk about it, I’m sure this forum will he receptive. Many people here were very receptive to me last month when I was going through this.

Things have settled down a lot, and I’m still working with T but just twice a week for one hour now. I no longer feel as betrayed by him, so much as I feel that there were a number of miscommunications between us.

In some ways I do feel that it was helpful to have so much therapy for a time, in order to truly delve into my past in a way that would otherwise take years with a regular, once a week schedule (or would never happen, because we’d be too busy dealing with current issues).

But I can also see how it easily becomes problematic. I started feeling too attached to him, almost “addicted,” and needed Christmas to temper that attachment.