Couch 210: The Abundant Couch

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

School is a mess, work is a mess, and I just got in a huge fight with my husband.

Possible trigger:

I want to die.

Are you safe right now?

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

If it was sudden onset, that doesn't seem like COPD--that's a chronic condition, right? Shortness of breath and chest pain definitely sound like ER. Hope you can get him to go and that he's OK.

We actually covered acute chest pain today.

Don't mean to scare you but it could be something serious.

I hope you can also convince him to go back.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

In the middle of the hard things and mess of life...my daughter made a tiny new human. He joined us quite considerately on Saturday evening, which was very convenient for everyone. Except maybe my daughter, as "convenient" isn't ever a word I'd apply to giving birth.

It is never boring around here, and--such a lovely reminder--often delightful.

That made me go "aww" on the inside.

How thoughtful of him.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Higs to people struggling

I survived the rat bite whatever was through my throat into my sinuses and died there. I am planning to make another adult size meal and eat it, on a plate with a knife and fork not in a wrap which i do way too often. Super weird dreams about exT. i am thinking about going back to the new T i have been thinking about things i dont like about therapy like how mindfulness just makes me want to punch people apparently thats not an expected reaction

Have you been keeping up to date with your tetanus shots?

Not everything will work for everyone. If you don't like mindfulness it's okay to go to a T who doesn't place a lot of emphasis on it.

When did you last see new T?

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:16 AM

Should I see R today?

Against:
I don't want to help pay for his next holiday. So could save £40.
I want to prove that I can live without him.
He laughed when he read the email- but did apologize.
I don't have the emotional strength to deal with another rupture especially when the reason is exactly the same as for our other one in october.

For:

....

LonesomeTonight · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

In the middle of the hard things and mess of life...my daughter made a tiny new human. He joined us quite considerately on Saturday evening, which was very convenient for everyone. Except maybe my daughter, as "convenient" isn't ever a word I'd apply to giving birth.

It is never boring around here, and--such a lovely reminder--often delightful.

Aw, congrats!!!

LonesomeTonight · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Should I see R today?

Against:
I don't want to help pay for his next holiday. So could save £40.
I want to prove that I can live without him.
He laughed when he read the email- but did apologize.
I don't have the emotional strength to deal with another rupture especially when the reason is exactly the same as for our other one in october.

For:

....

Well, that seems like you have your answer. Unless you can think of something for the "for" column.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Well, that seems like you have your answer. Unless you can think of something for the "for" column.

I want to see him which sounds so pathetic when I write it up.

The thing is I don't know if i'm just the one over exaggerating everything. Is not replying to an email a big thing or am I just making it a big deal because it triggers something in me?

It's just an email but it's not just an email.

It's about him leaving and me not knowing where he is or being able to contact him. Which was the exact same thing during october too during his last break. I don't think he get's it when he apologized and said he would try to be less unpredictable.

I want better care and I know I won't really get that in 50 magical mins.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 08:22 AM

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LonesomeTonight · Jan 14, 2020 at 08:25 AM

I suspect the email triggers something in you--like maybe you feel abandoned? Like he doesn't care? Which speaks to other feelings you've had in the past. At the same time, it's not *just* about your past, but about your relationship with him as well. Maybe it would be good to have this session, to talk through the email thing more?

chihirochild · Jan 14, 2020 at 08:46 AM

It’s a hard question to answer, Lemon. I hope you come to a solution that feels good to you, and that if you do end up having a session it is healing and useful.

chihirochild · Jan 14, 2020 at 08:52 AM

Back to the Fonagy today (skipping didactics again). I also need to work on a personal statement for an application to a psychoanalytic fellowship—I banged one out a few days ago but my roommate (who is a PhD in English) read it and was very sweetly like, “um, you might want to try again.” I didn’t really put my heart in it, she said. And she’s read some of my writing and liked it, so I know it’s not impossible to gain her approval. (Also I kind of knew deep down that it wasn’t really that thing that makes you go “wow,” which is what I was going for.)

chihirochild · Jan 14, 2020 at 08:54 AM

Oh, last thing: for the grammar experts out there (LT? @@?) what the ever-loving heck is the difference btwn “toward” and “towards?”

ETA: The ever-fantastic EM says that per Grammarly, there isn’t a difference: Toward or Towards | Grammarly

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Back to the Fonagy today (skipping didactics again). I also need to work on a personal statement for an application to a psychoanalytic fellowship—I banged one out a few days ago but my roommate (who is a PhD in English) read it and was very sweetly like, “um, you might want to try again.” I didn’t really put my heart in it, she said. And she’s read some of my writing and liked it, so I know it’s not impossible to gain her approval. (Also I kind of knew deep down that it wasn’t really that thing that makes you go “wow,” which is what I was going for.)

OOOOoo I'm excited for you.

What really draws you in with analysis?

Is it for a year?

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:22 AM

I texted him telling him that I was turning up. Rather now instead of next week 2 days before an exam.

chihirochild · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

OOOOoo I'm excited for you.

What really draws you in with analysis?

Is it for a year?

That’s the essential question, isn’t it? I’ve always been fascinated with the unconscious, the idea that of you look at things just right you can help a person know things about herself that she wasn’t aware of. And I love the mystery of it, how weird and complicated the theory is. But there must be more there that I’m not totally able to articulate yet—I’ll have to do some free-writing on the topic and see what I come up with.

It’s a year but it isn’t all-consuming—just a weekly lecture and a lot of reading. I’ll still be working part time in the hospital during it.

chihirochild · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I texted him telling him that I was turning up. Rather now instead of next week 2 days before an exam.

Do you feel good about the decision? Do you know what made you decide to see him?

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Do you feel good about the decision? Do you know what made you decide to see him?

I guess it's just to give him the chance to fix things..

I'm an oscillator. Go away. come back.

I think i am having a wtf moment now.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

That’s the essential question, isn’t it? I’ve always been fascinated with the unconscious, the idea that of you look at things just right you can help a person know things about herself that she wasn’t aware of. And I love the mystery of it, how weird and complicated the theory is. But there must be more there that I’m not totally able to articulate yet—I’ll have to do some free-writing on the topic and see what I come up with.

It’s a year but it isn’t all-consuming—just a weekly lecture and a lot of reading. I’ll still be working part time in the hospital during it.

A bit more time, and you'll be done soon. What about also thinking a bit about how far you've come in your own therapy?

Oh that sounds like a nice program .I've also thought about learning more about therapy without doing a full specialty.

Lemoncake · Jan 14, 2020 at 09:55 AM

I also googled Fonagy and thought it was a place. xD

He's also a prominent professor.

Therapy saved a refugee child. Fifty years on, he’s leading a mental health revolution | Society | The Guardian

Quote:

Earning the trust of children is crucial, Fonagy argues. “Kids come to me in a state of hyper-vigilance about relationships because of what’s happened to them. They don’t trust anyone, they don’t trust what I say, they don’t trust any knowledge I have to give them.”

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Couch 210: The Abundant Couch

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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,730 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 14, 2020 at 08:25 AM #470 I suspect the email triggers something in you--like maybe you feel abandoned? Like he doesn't care? Which speaks to other feelings you've had in the past. At the same time, it's not just about your past, but about your relationship with him as well. Maybe it would be good to have this session, to talk through the email thing more?

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jan 14, 2020 at 08:46 AM #471 It’s a hard question to answer, Lemon. I hope you come to a solution that feels good to you, and that if you do end up having a session it is healing and useful.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jan 14, 2020 at 08:54 AM #473 Oh, last thing: for the grammar experts out there (LT? @@?) what the ever-loving heck is the difference btwn “toward” and “towards?” ETA: The ever-fantastic EM says that per Grammarly, there isn’t a difference: Toward or Towards \| Grammarly

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jan 14, 2020 at 09:22 AM #475 I texted him telling him that I was turning up. Rather now instead of next week 2 days before an exam. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."