Couch 210: The Abundant Couch

I responded in the other post (before looking at EM's link!) that I mostly edit in American English but sometimes have to edit in British English (for online courses at University of Liverpool). And had the same answer, that "toward" is generally American English (didn't know the Canadian part), and "towards" is generally British English. Same with backward vs. backwards.

Thats what i was gonna say.

Nope not gonna be fixed anytime soon.

"What do you want?"

I want you to say that you're sorry, but not only say it because I'm asking you to, but understand why I'm upset.

But I was on a break.

You could go away for 6 months just make sure you have suitable alternatives for your clients.

"I'm sorry and I'll try to be less unpredictable. "

"That's what you said last time".

Going to watch Cheer on Netflix.

(About the Navarro program.)

But, you know, you're in therapy to fix you, not to change him. "What do you want?" is a complete essay question for you to address. The question is not, "what do you want me (T) to do differently next time?" T is just your foil. It is never a fair fight within your family, but it can be, with t.

Lemon, this sounds like he really can't see what you're getting at, even though it's abundantly obvious to anybody who is even halfway paying attention to your therapy. My T has been obtuse about something similar that's at the heart of our ongoing rupture, and it's been really helpful to talk to my other T about it. Other T validates how I feel and seems to agree that my T is messing up about certain things. That has helped me validate my own point of view, even though my T still stubbornly refusing to see where she is wrong and maybe never will. It also makes it easier to get what I can from my regular T and forgive her occasional annoyingness.

For me, it was just the opposite. My family was fine. The therapist just messed with me. So for me, family=fine therapist=unfair fight due to insufficient knowledge and her deliberately trying to keep info from me.

@Lemoncake I'm sorry, that just sounds frustrating! It seems like T should be able to understand why you are upset. And should be able to help you work through those feelings! HUGS Kit

Lemon it sounds maybe like he's just not able to empathise with your point of view. And that's really tough to experience. I saw a T who didn't always reply to emails and never seemed to understand how this felt and what it symbolised for me. He sounds very matter in fact in saying 'What do you want?' rather than getting to what is driving your feelings and really listening to how this is for you. It doesn't mean he will necessarily change and start replying to emails or being consistent about contact during breaks but the way I see it, maybe he needs to show more empathy and validate your experience of this situation. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know with my ex T, it felt like banging my head against a wall all the time, then when I tried to address it (in long letters) she would get defensive. Ugh.

Lemon, I agree with the other comments. I'm sorry your T responded that way. I was just saying to Dr. T yesterday how for me, if there's a conflict (with him or anyone), it's like I want to know they understand why I'm upset. Even if they might not change anything they said or did, I need them to get why it bothered me. It sounds like your T isn't doing this.

Hi All, actually had a rather nice session with Pastor T last night. I had done a lot of notes in between sessions and a lot of thinking and trigger for Christianity . Pastor T is frustrating in that he doesn't seem to understand SH. When I told him I was losing a form of my communication, he was like, what? Why? I don't understand. He was like SH isn't communicating anything. I was like yes it is. It was a bit frustrating because he wants to work on feelings. I don't get feelings. I don't usually know what I am feeling so I have difficulty discussing how I am feeling. I used to tell former T I was feeling unwell. She was like, what does that mean? I was like, not well. She was like, I still don't understand. Feelings are rather foreign to me. I can get the big ones: fear, anger, calm, anxiety, tiredness, sadness. But I can't always figure out which of those I am feeling. Pastor T said I am really strong. He says I do really well considering. I think he is starting to understand my childhood. I still don't know what he wants from me. He wants me to tell him feedback on like what we are working on and stuff. I'm like, the same stuff I work on with Regular T, but you guys have different approaches. I don't have like some BIG thing that I need to discuss (unless I am suicidal or have recently SH-ed) it's more of a how do I deal with this depression that is constant and unrelenting. Or this anxiety that is shaking me to the core, or these hallucinations that are scaring me. So I'm a bit frustrated in that I don't know what he wants from me, but being that he is CBT oriented and rather goal oriented I get that he wants there to be something that can be solved. I'm just not sure my struggles are that type of a problem. I can learn coping mechanisms, and coping skills, and stuff like that, but I don't think there is a CBT method that is going to suddenly make me not depressed. Suddenly make me not have hallucinations. But overall, a good appointment. He was really pleased with all the notes I had written between session on all the stuff I was thinking about and trigger for Christianity Hugs all, Kit

No, your all wrong, im the only one whose rite.

ETA - people know im kinda kidding, right?

Im gonna go bang on a garbage can with my baseball bat now.

HOW DID NOBODY NOTICE THEM DOING THAT??? Is there THAT much testosterone in a dugout?? And no video?! Sheesh!

It really IS too loud in a baseball stadium. So now we know why the announcers say "make some noise" when its already so loud its painful. My dad always said it was "fixed".

Thank you for all the replies.

This is the same previous T who did previously reply to my emails whilst away and he has given me a full session whilst he was away on his annual 4 week break just before a exam. It's just the past two holidays he hasn't. So I genuinely thought he understood breaks for me. He had accepted that he had been inconsistent and also asked why I felt so unsafe.

Just going to leave it for now and not see another T. Exam next week.

Cheer episode 2 with Jerry's story is making me cry,

His comments about SH would bug me too.

I found this as a simple area guide on where to start with recognizing what I was feeling. There's other pictures with more emotions too.

Series on Emotional Intelligence: Recognizing emotions - Andragogy Enabling Possibilities

Thanks @Lemoncake

This is nothing to do with anything, but I can 100% recommend a haramaki (or womb wrap/kidney warmer/belly warmer) for women who experience menstrual pain or have difficulty being in touch with that part of your body. I have just bought one and it is amazing. I feel held and warm. One of my trauma symptoms is that I don't have much awareness of my core body area and this really helps me feel into that space. Mine is made of lambswool and angora because I am a pretentious prat, but you could make your own from an old vest/piece of material. I like that mine is tight.

Have people seen this youtuber? He just seems so joyous. A song from my disco days.

YouTube

I'm on sabbatical this semester so lots of unstructured time. Potential depression trigger.

My holiday cruise was nice but not life changing. I always expect that travel to foreign lands will change me somehow. It doesn't.

Having depression symptoms already but they're not horrible so I'm not sure what to think. Only seeing my T once a month. Missing her desperately and yet surviving okay.

Hugs @MobiusPsyche I don't do well with lots of unstructured time either, it also triggers my depression symptoms (worse than they usually are). I'm sorry you are struggling and missing your T. I hope you can hang in there until your appointment. Post here if it helps. HUGS Kit

I’m safe right now and seeing my T in a few hours. Thanks for the hugs everyone.